Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Advice for trouble in first grade

Hi,

My DD5 just started first grade 4 weeks ago. She had a rocky start to kindergarten after an early entrance with predominantly social and emotional adjustment issues. Those appear to have resolved beautifully and now she appears to be sailing into first grade from those perspectives.

However, we have been contacted several times by the first grade teacher, her gifted pull out program teacher and her exceptional ed teacher because she is "not participating in" classroom activities. After much discussion with each of the teachers, it appears they are all seeing different things - I've been told she is willfully not participating, too sleepy to participate, does not like her gifted class, and that she has self-esteem problems and needs social stories to help her overcome her shyness. DD has had several comments from the instructors of the gifted weekend/summer program at the local university that she strongly prefers individual instruction and contributes more to class when given time to think and when the reason for exercises are shared and the relevance is reasonable (their words), and that she needs a safe place to practice using her voice in class. My observation is that her reading and writing skills do not appear to be on par with her classmates and that she herself is noting "I didn't know what the words on the board said." "I couldn't read the question" "I can't read or write like the other kids" "I didn't know what/how to write". Sometimes, it seems to be a comprehension issue. They were asked to write 6 sentences about respect and the teacher was quite frustrated that after 30 minutes her page was blank. DD reported "I didn't know how to describe respect. I could only think of what wasn't respectful." I've also noted that she tends towards perfectionism and will either not start something she's not sure she can bat out of the park on first try or will stop a task she does not feel is going smoothly.

I used a reading software program to reassess her at home and was dismayed to discover that her reading level has dropped significantly - her skills are actually less developed than when she started kindergarten a year ago.

I asked the school if they would retest her (to see if the original test that determined her eligibility for accelerated entrance to kindergarten was appropriate) and they reported that her IQ/ability testing from when she was 3 years 11 months was valid for 3 years and that they would not recommend retesting at this time. She is now 5 years 3 months. I've contacted the local university's education department to see if they would conduct a learning assessment.

Last week, I started putting her to bed an hour and a half earlier, and started daily phonetics/reading at home. We've started reading a few books on perfectionism, problem solving and growth mindset. I'm seeing a change at home but, of course, it's gradual.

We are meeting with all three teachers today. Does anyone have experience/advice on how to approach this best? What can we reasonably ask the school to help with? What else can we do at home?

I recommend this book:

Toe by Toe
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0952...y+toe&dpPl=1&dpID=41hENsFY5pL&ref=plSrch

It was recommended for my dyslexic son and worked wonders. It has also been a hit with my non dyslexic five year old son.

Hi!

We had similar issues in first grade. I ended up hiring a tutor to work on grade level expectations and it worked wonders for us. Even though DYS7 was comprehending at the 4th grade level math and reading, his written work looked below grade level. His ability to expressive his thoughts was labored. He just had too many thoughts and had no idea what the teacher expected. Now he's much happier and so am I!

I understand your concerns, but have you stopped and thought what a big ask it is for a 5 year old, gifted or not, to write 6 sentences on a concept such as respect? Many kids, including gifted, would be challenged writing 6 sentences about a concrete topic in the 3rd grade. To me it seems a bit of a red flag regarding the programme.

Thank you all. We'll look into a tutor and try and find a copy of Toe by Toe. Yes, I agree puffin. I had the same thought when I heard about the assignment. It seems like kids are being asked to do so much more now that they did when we were growing up!

Meeting went really well today. She perked up over the last week or so and has started participating and everyone has breathed a sigh of relief. Her text level assessment was apparently just barely at grade level; but the difficulty with reading is making the rest of her work suffer. It was actually pretty easy to pinpoint the reading difficulties as a common culprit to what all of her teachers were seeing once we had everyone at the table.

Great that the meeting went well and that you appear to be getting a handle on things.
I agree with PPs that the assignmen of writing six sentences about respect sounds rather steep for a first grader, even a gifted one, let alone a five year old first grader. I'm not sure I could do it, first thing in the morning. Was that in the regular classroom or part of the gifted program and is this a typical expectation?

Just a quick note here about DS8's "learning to read" experience in the first grade. He's a DYS and is 2e with stealth dyslexia and dysgraphia. Only offered as a data point. I remember being SO freaked out that DS was not going to be able to join me in my deep love of reading. But he has!

He started first grade basically not reading. Then in a period of only a few weeks he went from not reading at all to being able to read and understand basically anything. He's a voracious reader now. I think this is not an unusual pattern for gifted kids, especially PG kids [though I'm mighty nervous to use that term given the other threads going on right now ]

His handwriting is still tortured, and he struggles to get thoughts on paper. This is improving steadily. But still, there is no way even now, in third grade, that he would be able to "write six sentences on respect."

First - I think that he would find it a too vague assignment.

Second - he would have turbulent emotions about his internal struggles understanding "respect," as contrasted with "respectful" behavior one is expected to show to authority figure, e.g., teachers, even if one does NOT actually feel "respect" toward each and every one of them.

Third - "SIX SENTENCES??? Gawd - isn't it almost time for recess? Or math? Or anything other than SIX SENTENCES on this thing I really do not want to write about. Oh look, my pencil broke. I'll need to wander around the classroom for a few minutes on my way to sharpening it. And on the way, I'll just stop and chat with this guy who I'm pretty sure also doesn't want to do this. And maybe I should tell the teacher this assignment is ridiculous. I might get sent to the office. But then I'll at least get to TALK about respect rather than having to WRITE about it!"

So in short, he would never be able to begin.

So glad your meeting went well.

My son in 1st grade was asked to do a similar writing assignment on "Trust". He ended up writing whatever thoughts came to his mind. He wrote about what wasn't trustworthy in his opinion because that is all he could come up with at that age under such short notice. The teacher actually liked his writeup which is why I got to know about it (she pinned it to the bulletin board of the class during back to school week).

If your daughter can only think of what isn't respectful, at age 5, I would absolutely encourage her to put her thoughts into paper - it is still "on topic" as far as I am concerned. The teacher can then work with her about how to modify it or not.

PS: I agree that this topic is very nebulous for a 5 year old and 6 sentences is too much of a writing work load.

My DD exhibited a similar rocket like launch into reading. She had been faking it, We sat down together and I made her sound out the words one painful Saturday morning and something must have clicked. She just took off!

She would also take forever to write stuff down, whole races of bacteria flourished and then went extinct just during the time she spent writing a a paragraph, I am sure.

I think in her case it was perfectionism and being afraid of looking too geeky so she would dumb things down to fit in which wasn't natural for her. She is a lot more comfortable now with this stuff (5 years later LOL).

Open ended assignments would paralyze her with trying to process the myriad of thoughts that flooded her head and pick only one...