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    Joined: Apr 2013
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    Originally Posted by maisey
    Posters stories can change over time.
    Absolutely.

    Originally Posted by maisey
    Everyone has a story. Some are true some are not.
    Yes, There is a saying "Trust but verify."

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    Originally Posted by indigo
    If you do not wish to have a post quoted, you may state so. I have now removed my link to your post. smile However you have replicated the link in your post. From this point onward it is up to you as to whether you wish to maintain your link to that post, or edit your post to remove that link, and possibly also ask others who've replicated it to remove it... this would include Quantum2003 and George C


    Absolutely no need to edit the link out! That just confuses things smile

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    Originally Posted by fjzh
    Absolutely no need to edit the link out! That just confuses things smile
    Not linking to the original post provides a bit of anonymity. smile Not a lot, as you've made a public post... but to many (depending upon their memory for such things), it may seem a needle in a haystack.

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    Originally Posted by indigo
    Not linking to the original post provides a bit of anonymity. smile Not a lot, as you've made a public post... but to many (depending upon their memory for such things), it may seem a needle in a haystack.

    No need for anonymity! Nothing to hide. If I wanted it hidden I wouldn't post it on the internet. In fact I want it known that scores falling below the cutoff don't disqualify applicants--that DYS considers the whole child when reviewing and if you think your kid could benefit from these services it doesn't hurt to try.

    In fact, here: http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....ghter_was_accepted_into_.html#Post232574

    LOL

    Last edited by fjzh; 09/10/16 09:55 AM.
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    Originally Posted by solaris
    Maybe they really need to clarify what level of G their kids are and think mentioning PG without test results will help communicate their worries faster.
    I believe I had a similar thought and posted it this way: "Possibly these parents believe it gives them more credibility, a louder voice?"

    Originally Posted by solaris
    Maybe they see something in their kids and are in panic mode.
    Given that there may exist a possibility of misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses, a parent may, in some cases, choose not to acknowledge the possibility of 2e: gifted/ASD behavioral similarities. However a parent may be doing a disservice to a child who may need or benefit from early remediation/accommodations.

    Originally Posted by solaris
    When I organize small group learning opportunities and I know that I am looking for a certain level of maturity and understanding, I usually source families directly. I don't advertise. I write directly to families with kids who will be a good fit.
    A few thoughts -
    1) How do you find these families to source directly?
    2) Possibly playing a bit of devil's advocate here... please this consider a rhetorical question: Based upon your selectivity, what if people were to accuse you of being elitist in running your group, and demand you be more inclusive...?

    Originally Posted by solaris
    It doesn't bother me specifically because I belong to a large gifted community (of all flavors, including some really super amazing 2e kids) in real life and have watched and learned over the years that my child does not really benefit in the end from only learning to mix with kids at the same or similar level of giftedness/ ability/ achievement. A couple of his closest friends were not identified but are very obviously HG-PG and their 2e-ness masks that a lot. Personally, as a parent, I have learned so much from all of the other parents. Usually, in my experience, when a parent is snobby and elitist and picky about who their kids are mixing with, there is something they are seeking to hide.
    Same rhetorical question as above... based upon your group, which is run by invitation only, might some accuse you of being "elitist and picky" about who your kids are mixing with?

    Originally Posted by solaris
    The truth then comes out that their kids are not what they've claimed to be. But we don't discover that by policing everyone. We give them the benefit of the doubt and even if it comes out that the parents were lying, we don't come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore.
    A few thoughts -
    1) You seem to agree that parents may be disingenuous in describing their gifted children, as you have encountered this.
    2) By what means have these discoveries "come out" that families have had something to hide because the children were not as described?
    3) I noticed that in your post you have changed from speaking in the singular ("I") to speaking in the plural ("we"), which seems to imply that there has been some communication among various individuals that certain parents in your group were disingenuous.
    4) You mention "we don't come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore" as if to contrast your community with another community. What community has "come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore"?
    5) The community you describe seems to be a community without capacity limit. Are you interested to share it with this forum, in the event some of us may not already belong?
    6) There may be a vast difference between "only learning to mix with kids at the same or similar level of giftedness/ ability/ achievement" and finding any PG children to add to mix of all kids with whom a child is acquainted.

    Originally Posted by solaris
    We still get along. People are always learning and it's nice to give them room to do that.
    I believe the same may be said of these forums. Out of many currently active threads, I believe this may be the only one showing disagreement/controversy. BTW, please feel free to post on other threads, as it seems you have considerable years of knowledge to pass along. smile

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    Originally Posted by indigo
    1) How do you find these families to source directly?
    2) Possibly playing a bit of devil's advocate here... please this consider a rhetorical question: Based upon your selectivity, what if people were to accuse you of being elitist in running your group, and demand you be more inclusive...?

    As mentioned, I have a large local community. No, families are not sourced based on LOG or academic achievement! I'll let you in on a secret...to ensure that people don't throw accusations around, I don't insist on parent participation but my groups are set up in a way that students benefit best through parent participation. That's a very good way to determine who is really interested and will contribute time/ space/ money or all 3. So if someone is interested to join in (not sourced directly) they are very welcome to but unless they contribute in some way, their kids don't fully benefit. I've never turned anyone away but anyone who drops drops willingly because they realize they have to sustain the group too. We don't ask for money but parents bring snacks for example or volunteer time to teach or email links for everyone to watch/ research before a class meets. I don't do these any more because my son is so busy now. It was really very fun while it lasted. It is much easier when they are of elementary/ middle school age.


    Quote
    2) By what means have these discoveries "come out" that families have had something to hide because the children were not as described?

    I wish I could type all of that out but no, I really am not going to. You can choose to not believe me, it's totally fine!

    Quote
    5) The community you describe seems to be a community without capacity limit. Are you interested to share it with this forum, in the event some of us may not already belong?
    I would be happy to but that would mean giving away my location which I am not very comfortable doing right now (other posters have insisted that we should all be aware this is a public forum! grin ). I do not mean that I belong to one specific group. We are homeschoolers/hackschoolers/unschoolers/hybrid schoolers of some form or another. Most activities happen during usual school hours and why families with kids in B&M schools usually don't join in. There are national / international homeschooling groups and these are just a Google away. I sometimes meet families through those homeschooling groups and then after exchanging PMs, we might realize that we don't live too far away from each other!

    I don't know if I will be around much here but if I can help in some way I would be happy to. Thanks!

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    Originally Posted by solaris
    homeschoolers/hackschoolers/unschoolers/hybrid schoolers of some form or another.
    These have been some of my favorite groups as well. smile

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    Originally Posted by solaris
    Usually, in my experience, when a parent is snobby and elitist and picky about who their kids are mixing with, there is something they are seeking to hide. The truth then comes out that their kids are not what they've claimed to be. But we don't discover that by policing everyone. We give them the benefit of the doubt and even if it comes out that the parents were lying, we don't come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore. We still get along. People are always learning and it's nice to give them room to do that.


    Actually, my children associate with many different children in everyday life. But sometimes one wants their child to be with like minded peers. In the way that they say being at 130 to 100 is the same as PG to MG: it's like that. MG kids are wonderful, but they're as different to mine as they are to average kids. There's nothing wrong with me wanting them to have friends on the same level for certain activities and interests.

    There aren't many around like mine, and I still haven't found any in my small area. My kids tend to intimidate many parents, who perhaps feel like their child is less special, and then we attract those who wish their child was PG. Which I even go along with until it becomes very obvious they are lying and they bow out. In my club I do ask for proof and I look for a certain profile because I am desperate for my lonely kids to find others like them. I haven't yet. This is why it bothers me. It makes it really difficult for me and my kids. They have plenty of kids to be friends with, but not to be best friends with.

    I don't check IQ reports when going to the playground, but when I fund a club for the sole purpose of finding PG friends for my kids then yes, I do.

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    Originally Posted by JonLaw
    I want to argue, too!

    What are we arguing about?

    I can help!

    And, you did. (Seriously).

    Last edited by suevv; 09/12/16 02:41 AM. Reason: edited to make clear that no snark was intended. This post really did help me.
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