Maybe they really need to clarify what level of G their kids are and think mentioning PG without test results will help communicate their worries faster.
I believe I had a similar thought and
posted it this way: "Possibly these parents believe it gives them more credibility, a louder voice?"
Maybe they see something in their kids and are in panic mode.
Given that there may exist a possibility of misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses, a parent may, in some cases, choose not to acknowledge the possibility of 2e:
gifted/ASD behavioral similarities. However a parent may be doing a disservice to a child who may need or benefit from early remediation/accommodations.
When I organize small group learning opportunities and I know that I am looking for a certain level of maturity and understanding, I usually source families directly. I don't advertise. I write directly to families with kids who will be a good fit.
A few thoughts -
1) How do you find these families to source directly?
2) Possibly playing a bit of devil's advocate here... please this consider a rhetorical question: Based upon your selectivity, what if people were to accuse you of being elitist in running your group, and demand you be more inclusive...?
It doesn't bother me specifically because I belong to a large gifted community (of all flavors, including some really super amazing 2e kids) in real life and have watched and learned over the years that my child does not really benefit in the end from only learning to mix with kids at the same or similar level of giftedness/ ability/ achievement. A couple of his closest friends were not identified but are very obviously HG-PG and their 2e-ness masks that a lot. Personally, as a parent, I have learned so much from all of the other parents. Usually, in my experience, when a parent is snobby and elitist and picky about who their kids are mixing with, there is something they are seeking to hide.
Same rhetorical question as above... based upon your group, which is run by invitation only, might some accuse you of being "elitist and picky" about who your kids are mixing with?
The truth then comes out that their kids are not what they've claimed to be. But we don't discover that by policing everyone. We give them the benefit of the doubt and even if it comes out that the parents were lying, we don't come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore.
A few thoughts -
1) You seem to agree that parents may be disingenuous in describing their gifted children, as you have encountered this.
2) By what means have these discoveries "come out" that families have had something to hide because the children were not as described?
3) I noticed that in your post you have changed from speaking in the singular ("I") to speaking in the plural ("we"), which seems to imply that there has been some communication among various individuals that certain parents in your group were disingenuous.
4) You mention "we don't come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore" as if to contrast your community with another community. What community has "come out with a set of rules saying you have to qualify what you say or that you cannot be a part of the community anymore"?
5) The community you describe seems to be a community without capacity limit. Are you interested to share it with this forum, in the event some of us may not already belong?
6) There may be a vast difference between "only learning to mix with kids at the same or similar level of giftedness/ ability/ achievement" and finding any PG children to add to mix of all kids with whom a child is acquainted.
We still get along. People are always learning and it's nice to give them room to do that.
I believe the same may be said of these forums. Out of many currently active threads, I believe this may be the only one showing disagreement/controversy. BTW, please feel free to post on other threads, as it seems you have considerable years of knowledge to pass along.