Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Testing is done; decisions to be made

Would an ISFJ (the parent) be amenable to HSing? Wasn't there a link to a Myer's Brigg test for kids?

I completely agree! I really do think that any noon-abusive parent *can* successfully homeschool, if the right supports are put in place, though some will probably have an easier time of it and enjoy it more than others. But if you can parent your child, you can homeschool him/her. Especially in a GT child, parenting and homeschooling are pretty close to the same thing.

Sorry - i don't know what makes a particular type more likely to succeed as a homeschooler. In wikipedia, is says "According to Myers-Briggs, ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives." So I guess it would really depend on your kid as well (if they are more inclined to prefer order too, the better, i would guess, but what do i know.)

Yes, there was a link to kid's test, but i can't find it. Kriston? Kimck?

Here's the kids' test for 7-12yos:

http://www.personalitypage.com/cgi-local/build_pqk.cgi

It only gives 3 of the 4 letters, because apparently the 4th isn't fully formed by age 12.

And I don't have any idea which personalities would be more amenable to homeschooling. That's sort of my problem with anyone--expert I respect or no--telling someone not to homeschool based on personality. Because there are so many very different ways to homeschool and so many helpful groups and supplies out there to support a homeschooling family (not to mention babysitting and classes and tutors!), it's hard for me to imagine anyone who couldn't make homeschooling work for the family.

My own opinion is that Introverts tend to have a harder time, since we need more time alone to recharge our batteries. Often people think introverts would have an easier time of it and extroverts would hate it, but HSing requires a lot of time with your kids and other people, so I don't think that's true.

That's another concern I have about telling people "you shouldn't homeschool": often the assumptions made about what homeschooling looks like and how it's done are just flat wrong.

So am I the perfect personality to homeschool? I seriously doubt it! I've had to use some supports, like babysitters. And my housework has suffered a lot (!!!) because something had to give. But compared to our other school options, this is definitely a successful choice for us! We had an adjustment period at the beginning, and I've had to learn to do a better job of "putting the oxygen mask on myself first, before helping others," as it were, so that I don't lose my cool. But you figure all that stuff out, and then it works. It just works!

So I guess what I'm saying is that I suspect I'm not someone Dr. Ruf would say has a good personality for HSing, but we're doing it, and we all greatly (!!!) prefer it over DS7's previous school situation. He's learning more, he's happier, he has more friends and time to be with his friends, and he's a lot nicer to be around. And I'm pretty happy, too...much happier than I was when I was worried all the time about his school situation and dealing with my miserable child's behavior problems.

Provided you remember that there's no one right way for homeschooling to look, you use the supports and helps that you need, and you take care of yourself just as surely as you take care of your kids, I really think ANY personality can homeschool and be happy.

FWIW...

Well, this has taken an interesting turn in conversation. I'll follow the lead.

FWIW, the online M-B tests aren't the actual assessment but variations of it. I think though that the results come out pretty close or right on. I took the actual M-B in college and my results have always been consistent when I do the on-line versions. But the kids version was actually called the Murphy-Meisgeier for Children. MrWiggly took it himself, unlike the online one where the adult chooses responses for the child. We were given a link and a password, MrWiggly sat at the computer and answered the questions about his preferences himself, without interference from us. His results on that assessment were actually different from the on-line one that Kriston provided a link to which I had done for him.

As far as the homeschooling issue, let me clarify on the personality type issues. For us, Dr. Ruf pointed out that my personality type and MrWiggly's type are not a good match. That is why she stated that I should NOT be his teacher if we homeschool. This was based on our personal issues as MrWiggly is so needy emotionally (seeks praise often, easily has his feelings hurt, gets embarrassed and so on) and I tend to mother/baby him due to my personality style. She pointed out that I need to be more firm as I affirm/validate him so as to help him grow in terms of emotional health and maturity. Basically it came down to the fact that MrWiggly's style seems to be seeking enmeshment and I tend to feed into it. This, she felt, is what has fueled some of the emotional battles we've had around separation issues, his tantrums and his demanding or neediness. This is a somewhat simplistic explanation of a complex issue, but you get the point.

Dr. Ruf did recommend that I pick up a book called "Motherstyles: Using Personality Types to Discover Your Parenting Strengths"
http://www.amazon.com/MotherStyles-...mp;s=books&qid=1219158268&sr=1-1

I am planning on getting that one but am currently working on "Children: The Challenge" which she recommended first to help with the parenting issues.
http://www.amazon.com/Children-Chal...mp;s=books&qid=1219158390&sr=1-1

BTW, another great thing about Dr. Ruf is that she provides a plethora of resources!!! Someone told me that I wouldn't likely need her to actually advocate for our son as she would empower us to do that ourselves. I didn't really believe that before but I understand now what that person meant! I do indeed feel more well armed for the advocacy!

I don't have a copy of the report with me but what I can recall about the ENFP type for children is that they tend to have characteristics like:
* get highly charged about ideas and interested but then leave them quickly once they've satiated their interest. Easily distracted by a new idea
*Likes to work on the concept or idea but not actually produce the finished product
*Has difficulty attending to details as they see the gestalt so easily and aren't really interested in details. Needs cues ahead of time to attend to the details.
*Hates rote memorization tasks
*Prefers to have exploratory, self-discovery learning that is fun
*Goes off on tangents that they notice in conversations because of ability to see relationships and desire to connect ideas

There's more and I can provide more info when I get the report in my hands at home. But those characteristics paired with his intellectual level seem to be quite problematic for the public school setting. The reports were great, with one for the professionals/parents and one for the child to read. The kid's report talks about "strengths and stretches" with stretches referring to areas where the child might have to work harder to meet task demands. It's a great report because it emphasizes how it's all just a style, with none better or worse just different. And the whole thing really fit for MrWiggly! Hit the nail right on the head in terms of his personality, for sure!

You can do this, especially since it's been brought up and you are now aware of it.

Our tester initially thought homeschooling would not be a good fit for us either. He later changed his mind after he got to know our family better.

At the beginning, I looked too permissive because I was ignoring C-dog's behavior in front of him. I didn't want him to think I was a mean mommy. Now he realizes I deal with the behavior, but only in front of people I feel comfortable with.

I agree. I think it's behavior we aren't aware of that is problematic.

I just don't accept without some sort of evidence that certain combinations of people are a guaranteed bad match for homeschooling. I know permissive parents and hard-nosed parents with all combinations of personalities in their kids who homeschool. I know it can be done by anyone. Sometimes the parents have to adapt a bit to make it work, but it can be done successfully by anyone.

Again, that doesn't mean YOU ought to. Just that I don't personally buy this as a reason for not.

Thanks Debbie. This is interesting to me because both DS and I are ENFP's and neither of us had any trouble with teachers in elementary school. In fact, DS was pretty universally adored by his teachers because of his high social skills, leadership ability, and great enthusiasm (which are part of the ENFP portrait as well). Yes, he is distractable and he doesn't like details, but mostly the teachers just got a kick out of telling me how much the liked having the extra time to chat with him at the end of the day while he was getting his backpack packed up (since packing backpack is a "detail" he has a "hard time attending to").

And I do know he can be disruptive. His GT teacher did mention the DS tends to "go off on tangents" but he also said that although he knew he needed to redirect DS sometimes, that was often hard to do because the tangents DS was taking were so fun and humorous that they seemed more interesting than what Mr. GT had planned so he would end up following DS's lead!

Because DS and I have done so well with our ENFP types, it really surprised me to hear that they may not fit well in an elementary classroom. But I have always known that our teachers have been amazing and we probably just lucked out by getting fun loving teachers who enjoy the extra energy and joy in their classroom!

acs - I think our DS's were separated at birth! LOL!!! DS10 is an ENFP and is also adored by his teachers. He is VERY distractible and doesn't like details either. The only main difference is that he isn't disruptive. He definitely knows when to be quiet!!!

I think we both got lucky!!!