Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Testing is done; decisions to be made

How great! It's no secret that I REALLY like Dr. Ruf's book! So I'm very envious!

I have one caveat--which you should feel free to ignore, but I felt like I should mention since Dr. Ruf was pretty negative about homeschooling in your son's case.

There are those in the GT homeschooling community who argue that Dr. Ruf opposes homeschooling too often, ruling it out when it could, in fact, be a viable option if the right supports were put into place. I don't have enough evidence to take a position, but it does sound to me as if in your son's case, she ignored some possibilities and facts about homeschooling. Off the top of my head: 1) HSing can be a very social educational option that allows extroverts MORE time and opportunity for social contact, especially if the primary caregiver is also and extrovert, as you are, and 2) You would not necessarily have to be your son's primary teacher; many people use tutors or online classes to meet their kids' needs.

That's not to say that I think you should homeschool. From your previous posts, it has seemed like you enjoy your work and are not really interested in homeschooling. That's perfectly sensible.

I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Ruf's advice in this one particular area has been questioned before, and I can see some reason to question it in your son's case.

But as I said, feel free to ignore! If the professional advice you're getting matches your gut feel, I'd be the first to say that you should take that advice! Moms know!

So are you and Mr. Wiggly ENFJ's, and your husband and ENFP? Or is Mr. Wiggly and ENFP and you and ENFJ?

I love this stuff and just want to make sure I got it straight!

Again - I'm also testing envious!

I'm actually a bit surprised that Dr. Ruf is anti-homeschool much of the time. Especially considering the vibrant homeschooling GT community we're discovering here (same metro area as Dr. Ruf). They even offer co-op style homeschooling classes for HG+ kids. It is really more than I even expected. My son is definitely an extrovert. Embarrassingly so sometimes. He is an incredible smart alec right now and it's driving me nuts. I'm thinking our bigger homeschooling issue for us is being home enough to get some real work done.

But you know your situation and child best. And if I were in the midst of a career I loved, we may be making different decisions now. I'm sure you'll make the right decisions come what may. Especially armed with your new info.

Mom: ENFJ, Dad: INTJ/P, MrWiggly: ENFP (I think I mistyped in my previous post, hence some confusion on your part).
By the M-B descriptors that makes me "The Giver", DH is "The Scientist" or "The Thinker" depending on whether he's more J or P at any given time (I forget which is which right now) and son is "The Inspirer". Basically all this M-B stuff really affirmed why I need so much affirmation, why MrWiggly is so intense and why my DH just doesn't seem to care!! Not that he doesn't, BTW, just not his style to show it! Interestingly enough, DH leans just slightly toward INTJ, which the resources we got say occurs in only about 1% of the population. Now he's all full of himself as being so unique!

About the homeschooling advice, I really do agree with all of you. I think that homeschooling COULD be an option combined with the right social outlets and, most importantly I think, the opportunity to socialize and meet some "soulmates" who are at or above his level. That's what is going to be the hardest thing to do out here in the cornfields. DH could theoretically shut down his business or downsize it to allow for being the primary caregiver/homeschooler. But I think I'd have a hard time turning that much control over to him!!! (That ugly ENFJ thing again!)

Like I said, much to think about.......many options to consider.

Oh, and I haven't shared with you all that I am a Grandma again! My oldest DS and his wife just had a beautiful baby boy two weeks ago. Bright, active and alert...looking GT already!! We have three grandkids already from my step-daughter, but this one is "official" grandma-hood for me! I only wish they lived closer <sigh>

First, YAY for grandparenthood! Congratulations!

Second, I chuckled when I read this:



because we had a roll-call some time back, and a large number of us who post here regularly are INTJs. I'm not sure it was the majority, but it was probably close to it! Certainly WAAAAAAY more than 1%! Lots and lots of Spocks on this board!

Debbie, I thought you would get a kick out of knowing that you're surrounded by us here. <Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!>



And finally, I don't want to besmirch Dr. Ruf's reputation or anything with my post. As I said, I'm a big fan of her book, and I'm not 100% sold that the criticism is fair or valid, though I would argue that she seems a bit too quick to rule out homeschooling in this one case. But (in true INTJ/Spock fashion!) I do think it's important to consider criticism of experts when making decisions based on that expert's advice, even if you ultimately decide the criticism is irrelevant, unfair or just plain wrong.

But I DON'T mean to be slinging mud at Dr. Ruf. I have a lot of respect for her. I do want that to be clear!

Hi Debbie,

I know you are sorting through a bunch of info and I don't really expect you to repeat it all, but I am so interested in personality types. You had mentioned the ENFP's were the least preferred types by elementary school teachers. I am curious about what traits are likely to cause problems--if you can remember, of course.

Hate to ask a stupid question, but what do ENFP, INTJ, and ENFJ stand for?

There are no stupid questions! These are psychological profiles from Myers-Briggs. E.g., I'm ENTP - Extrovert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

This totally sounds just like my DH as well! I am close - INTF. I am very borderline on the I/E and the F/J. DH is far gone on the J end which occasionally drives me a bit nutso.


Yes - what Kriston said (as usual)!

Congratulations on grandmahood!

Just a quick note, to comment on the homeschooling issue. We also took our DS to see Dr. Ruf, and she told us to expect to homeschool at some point(s), and that our personality types were perfect for that. (ENTP -me/INTP- DH) And I think she was right - we're both flexible (and we both thought - wow, wouldn't that have been great to have been homeschooled as a kid?)

So, my take on this is that while there are personality types that might have an easier go at homeschooling, there are definitely no bars. But I think if my gut were telling me that i wouldn't like doing something or another, and a professional opinion was there to back me up, i'd feel pretty relieved!