Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Fear of outdoor activities!

As far as the hoarding thing, DD got extremely mad at me about smuggling things to the trash, and I get it. She now has a plastic box under her bed for papers/keepsakes. If she wants to keep it, it goes in the box. If the box gets too full, she must sort the box and discard some items. (I have told her that as she gets older, we MAY eventually get another box.) It is NOT a big box! This has helped a lot, as she has to make the call on what is worth the space, but she no longer worries that I will throw things out on the sly.

Love this chay!

Oh boy, our primary car was in an accident earlier this year, and my then-6-year-old cried when we dropped it off at the shop, was okay in the rental car, cried when had to give the rental car back, then our primary car wasn't acting right and she cried when we had to give it back to the shop and get back into our same rental car, but I think she finally accepted the final switch when the primary car was done for real. Oh, the emotions over change! We had to keep any conversations about the car private; she couldn't bear the thought of maybe selling it.

I really appreciate everyone's input. Just curious: What are everyone's thoughts on the link with OEs/giftedness? Or is this just a regular (albeit anxiety-related thing) that happens a lot with kids? Maybe it's not that unusual?

Here is a link to an article from SENG, citing a belief that there is a correlation: http://sengifted.org/archives/articles/overexcitability-and-the-gifted

It is reassuring to know that other people have children who experience things so intensely as well. Our son's reaction to some things --- like the potential loss of an ugly blue toilet -- have come as a surprise to us. However, they are very real emotions to him and we try our best not to dismiss or discount them, which isn't always easy when my first instinct is to laugh at the absurdity of it all! I love the last paragraph of this article, though: "Remember the Joy" and try to keep that in mind when dealing with toilet and other issues!

I think that some kids also grow out of this resistance to change. My dd at 6 refused to even think about moving to a different house. It was actually funny. We went to several open houses and she might have even liked some things about the new houses but she would insist that we were not going to move. Now at 12 she's much more open to moving to a new house, even a new city! Same thing with trying new foods. And I can remember crying if my mother wanted to throw away old beloved shoes, but now I'm great about getting rid of things that are no longer useful. Maybe it's just developmental so "Remember the Joy" is a helpful phrase.

I started down this "figure out what's going on with my kid" road by reading The Highly Sensitive Child and it helped me sympathize with my daughter and realize she wasn't unique in her sensitivity. Going down this gifted road has given me a further understanding, and I can't help but think the two are related somehow--maybe not for everyone, but in my observations of my kid and others it seems to ring true.

Thanks, all! It sure helps to hear the stories.

ultramarina, I love the box idea.

HJA, we also respect his emotions and help him work through them. Now that we're used to it, it's quite easy to see that it's all perfectly real to him. I had to laugh when my in-laws just could not fathom why he was devastated about having to say goodbye to the goose. They must have asked why he was crying at least 10 times. It was like they just couldn't process the notion.

And yes, it's pretty easy to "Remember the Joy". He gives us plenty of reasons to smile as well, like when he talks about all the "life lessons" he has learned from a book we just finished reading, or when he starts explaining grammar rules and reading strategies to DS4.

I want to second MomC and say that kids do grow out of the resistance to new things. My son was okay to take skating lessons, go through the Men's locker room at the pool by himself, and in general more open to try new sports since he turned 7. Now he blames me for not signing him up for skating when he was younger. I didn't try then but I knew I would not have even been able to put skates on him when he was younger. Heck, he was even afraid of the Easter egg hunt and we said at the sideline of many a birthday parties. Turning 7 brought a lot of positive changes in this aspect.

That is the best!!!