Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional The apple and the tree

That is a very interesting question. I feel that I did not really "need" a diagnosis, but I also am far from certain that I would have been entitled to one. It probably would have made my life easier in middle school, but I don't think it would have made much difference in high school and it very likely wouldn't have done anything for me in college.

DH probably would have been more likely to be diagnosed than I, but I think that he also did fine without it. On the other hand, he went to a private high school, so he would have had less services anyway.

I suspect it may depend very much on the child and his/her environment. I had a depressing conversation last night with the parent of a gifted young man - his assessment of the whole situation was that they were much too busy taking care of the behavioural problems while their son was growing up to ever have time for "that gifted thing". If he had been identified, he might not have struggled as much going through school (and therefore possibly not had the behavioural problems at all). Who knows what the impact might be in the end... I suspect it would have helped him significantly.

It might all be in the balance you strike, too.

I think part of the reason why more high functioning Autism or Asperger are identified is how intensely social schools have become. Group projects, discussions, writers workshop, etc. Even introverts without diagnosable conditions have trouble in the early school years now.

Good point, RRD. I do wonder how many of "bad students
we grew up with had ADHD or a learning disability of some sort.

Agree about schools being more demanding other tban extrovert kids. When i was at school group work or helping was called cheating. Now i have seen group work where one person did the lion's share of the work but everyone was assassed together. Writing that used to be between you and tbe teacher is now peer edited etc - I didn't want to share anything personal with bullies and i imagine it makes many kids more cautious. Classrooms were for the most part quiet and orderly.

Thanks for all the responses. Sounds like I am definitely not alone. I am not sure how much benefit I will find from seeking help now, but I do think life would have been a lot smoother if I had both giftedness and other exceptionalities recognised and supported when I was young. I am hoping it is not to late to get some benefit now.

The question of the benefit of diagnosis is a good one. I definitely think it will end up being positive for DS in the long run. Although we have been in the middle of a storm of DS's angry outbursts for the last while, and it is hard to remember that their is a long run.

Sorry, not much of a response to all of your great posts, but I am a bit beaten down by it all at the moment.

I am defiantly 2E of some kind, although my strengths/weaknesses are different than my sons. I can't spell even to the point that I sometimes can't figure out even the first few letters of a word. Although having never been tested by a test like the WISC I can't be SURE I would be labeled gifted. But I did end up in the top math groups at at schools that believed themselves full of gifted kids. And finally majored in math in college because it was the easy way to get a university degree.

My struggle has always been that my profile is that I'm very good at math but struggled with spelling,writing and expressing myself. Teachers in junior high had a hard time with me because I didn't fit the mold. It was OK that some boys were only good at math & science but not girls for some reason. I could tell it frustrated them and it felt like they didn't quite know what to do with me.

Don't really have a lot of interest in getting tested at this point. But learning about my son and all about 2E has changed my perspectives on my childhood struggles.

Hang in there, Dubsyd. I think many of us on here benefit from the group support. It can really be tough to deal with all of it, especially if both parent and child have several overexcitabilities... DS6 and I are quite a pair together - emotions are more intense and the reactions are more intense. I work really hard to be a good role model for him, but he exhausts me. But then, on a different day, the magic shines through and I am in awe of him. It is such a rollercoaster!

Come to think of it, this whole experience with DS6 is not just shining light on the possible 2E aspect. Never having considered the characteristics of gifted children before, I had never heard of Dabrowski's OEs. It's a new lens with which to consider my own personality and behaviour.

I have always thought of myself as being a "super-feeler" of sorts, but was always hesitant to describe myself as such to anyone else. Since I had never heard of anything like it, I was concerned people would think I was a bit crazy. I've explained it to my husband, but always in a really light-hearted way.

But I've always been convinced that I had a more sensitive sense of taste, smell, hearing and touch. I've always been more bothered by stuff. I've always been more emotional and had a tough time controlling my emotions. I've always struggled with being affected by other people's feelings. I've always talked too much. And I could go on.

It's really comforting to now understand that it might actually be legitimate!