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    Joined: Sep 2013
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    Originally Posted by _Angie_
    Okay, thanks everyone!

    Follow up question... spoke with the teacher about it today during my weekly volunteer spot. Teacher thought it was a great idea to keep my son and one of the two boys together. She thinks they really help each other and are great working together in class. This is the one I would have singled out as well. She said the K teachers will make the initial list and it will be adjusted by the principal as needed. She suggested I also pass on the request to the principal just to be sure.

    The teacher reminded me (I guess I'd forgotten) that DS spent the entire first month and a half of K sitting by himself in the corner, not interacting with the class. Since that time he's come out of his shell and been a leader in the classroom. It is true that he really does sit back and feel out a situation before becoming part of it, if that makes sense.

    Anyway, K teacher thinks email to the principal should highlight that DS is slow to adjust to new situations as a supporting reason for pairing the two kids together. My husband is adamant that we not make the request by highlight DS's weaknesses, when they really haven't been an issue. He doesn't want him labelled in some way.

    I'm not sure which reasoning to take when asking for the request. My real reason is that this other boy is his intellectual peer, but I don't know how to say that without triggering anti-gifted reactions in people.

    Thoughts?

    Well, I understand and agree with your husband's reasoning... but the teacher has given you a code phrase that she may know will work. Could you do both? Request as this has helped him adjust plus they seem to be working at a similar, advanced level?

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    Originally Posted by longcut
    Our school uses high-ability clusters, if you prefer that phrasing. Even before achievement testing. It's not "official" I'm sure because it might look like tracking, but it was something I pushed for and it makes differentiation easier for the teacher.

    I was going to suggest high-ability or advanced learners, too. It's less problematic for many people.

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    _Angie_ Offline OP
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    Hmm, I'm not sure why I said my husband is "adamant" ... sorry, that's a little dramatic. I think it's more accurate to say he is concerned. smile So he's definitely open to whatever will work, but is being cautious.

    I think you guys are right, "high-ability" or "advanced learners" seems to go down a little easier. And yes, I think I'll include both reasons in a finely crafted email I am SURE to overthink. wink

    Thanks everyone.

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    My experience is they like to spread the bright kids out evenly because it makes it easier for the teachers. The one time they did put 3 gifted kids in one class they only allowed 2 kids from each class to attend extension programming. You only have 2 classes though and the sound less crazy. Just saying what seems logical to you may be the opposite of school practice.

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    Originally Posted by puffin
    My experience is they like to spread the bright kids out evenly because it makes it easier for the teachers. The one time they did put 3 gifted kids in one class they only allowed 2 kids from each class to attend extension programming. You only have 2 classes though and the sound less crazy. Just saying what seems logical to you may be the opposite of school practice.

    Yes, this was the feedback from my mom as well, who used to teach elementary.

    There are elementary schools in our county that do gifted clustering, but they tend to be very big. In that case I get the idea that there are enough high performing students to go around, so the teachers don't feel much of a drop off getting the second tier of advanced students. The one I know that does a good job of it has 6 K classes.

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    Honestly, in our experience, schools are much more interested in addressing children's perceived social weaknesses and emotional issues in early elementary than they are in helping children improve upon their academic strengths. The level of support our children received for social/emotional issues was MUCH higher than the level of support that was offered for their academic strengths, even though in one case the lack of addressing academic needs was actually causing the other issues.

    They may be much more likely to help your son resolve/avoid a possible "weakness" than to help him build upon an academic strength. If the teacher is suggesting wording to use in the email you should seriously consider doing it, even if it is different than the wording you would use. She probably knows what would work.

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    Originally Posted by momoftwins
    Honestly, in our experience, schools are much more interested in addressing children's perceived social weaknesses and emotional issues in early elementary than they are in helping children improve upon their academic strengths. The level of support our children received for social/emotional issues was MUCH higher than the level of support that was offered for their academic strengths, even though in one case the lack of addressing academic needs was actually causing the other issues.

    They may be much more likely to help your son resolve/avoid a possible "weakness" than to help him build upon an academic strength. If the teacher is suggesting wording to use in the email you should seriously consider doing it, even if it is different than the wording you would use. She probably knows what would work.

    Thanks. I think you're right.

    I don't think my son has major issues or anything. But sitting in the corner of the class by yourself for a month and a half before engaging with the class isn't exactly normal, either. He does have some trouble transitioning to new situations that he could use help with.

    Sort of hard to really know though, since he also decided he wanted to teach himself the multiplication tables the first month of school. On recess he sat skip counting to himself and using his fingers to keep track of his work. Knowing that makes me feel a little better about it. He wasn't sad he was just focused on something else. But I'm sure to a K teacher he looked really off!

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    I do understand your husbands concern, but agree that elementary teachers and principals will be much more amenable to reasons related to social or emotional deficit as opposed to academic or intellectual growth for kids who are ahead anyway.

    However, the teacher has actually suggested a positive wording which does not allude to a deficit at all - "really help each other and work very well together" - you may run the wording your request by her next time you volunteer, sort of casually, just to be sure you've got it right in edu-speak, KWIM? As an administrator, I'd think "anything that makes a classroom run more smoothly".

    Really, it should be a non-issue.

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