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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,498
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,498 |
[ I say just tell child you aren't going to yell or nag anymore and present them with the tools they need (clocks, watches, kitchen timers, check lists) and maybe practice on Saturday and Sunday...then explain that the child has the ability and tools needed and step back. I would like to do this but I don't think she's quite there. Her executive functioning weaknesses are coming to the fore this year as middle school starts, though I also understand that many kids struggle with this at first. I didn't check anything or watch anything homework-wise for the first few weeks of school because I hadn't had to do that for a few years in elementary, and it was not a good scene. A big part of me feels frustrated and wants to just say--if you're late, you're late!--but as I watch her, the competencies don't seem to be in place, and she needs a slower ramp-up. This is so important. "Sink or swim" only works if the swimming skills are fully and reliably in place.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 166
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 166 |
This is so important. "Sink or swim" only works if the swimming skills are fully and reliably in place. Agreed. People who haven't dealt with a 2e kid or learning disabilities read intention or laziness into lack of executive function skills. In reality, it is not that these kids won't, it is that they can't. Teaching EF skills is a long-term and frustrating task, but at some point maturity and brain wiring does kick in. We saw a huge improvement with our 9th grader starting around when he started 8th grade.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,363
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,363 |
This is so important. "Sink or swim" only works if the swimming skills are fully and reliably in place. Agreed. People who haven't dealt with a 2e kid or learning disabilities read intention or laziness into lack of executive function skills. In reality, it is not that these kids won't, it is that they can't. Teaching EF skills is a long-term and frustrating task, but at some point maturity and brain wiring does kick in. We saw a huge improvement with our 9th grader starting around when he started 8th grade. ITA with DeeDee and BSM, and also wanted to add that even for many neurotypical kids, EF skills are still developing at this age, and direct help and support in learning the skills can be very effective. polarbear
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 517
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 517 |
as a former perpetually late person, my suggestion is to just wake your daughter up at the time she needs to be up (1.5 hrs before leaving if nec) and let her be tired for a few days/week until she adjusts her bed time naturally.
I know it's a little tough love but I think if she is not capable of moving faster then you need to give her the time to do what she has to do. At the end of the day she can't have it all (ie late to bed and late to wake up) if she can't move fast.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428 |
She's doing better already with homework organization, so I believe she can improve this. We find that DD can learn to succeed with skills like these, but needs more support, practice, reminders, explicit instruction, and scaffolding than some children. And it's slower. I see her as bottom 15-25% for EF. I do know kids who are much better, but also some who are worse.
Today was better, but she also happened to wake herself up early. That made it easier, but I must add that it wasn't ideal because she was cranky and unpleasant all morning (tired!)
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