Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Suggestions to help DD11 manage time in AM

One thing I did think about in researching this online is making her routine more standardized. Sometimes she eats first, sometimes she dresses first. Sometimes she showers, sometimes that's at night. This morning she got up and reviewed for a test first thing. Not much can be done about the occasional need to study or finish something, but maybe if we get the routine in a more discrete order and assign each task an amount of time, it would help.

I know my son manages to get out the door by having a plan by when certain tasks are done by. It's not everything he needs to do but on the tasks like showering where he is abt to lollygag like showering. It's why the clock helps, he knows to be to school on time he can't stay in the shower past a certain time.

Why don't you ask her to estimate how much time each task takes her in the morning (and write it down), then measure the time she actually takes (and the order) for a week or so? She might figure out the issue on her own that way.

My 12yo needs a lot of help with every step of the morning routine. Lots of reminders and patience. We have tried many of the ideas suggested and they rarely work. He would rather read in bed as long as possible, then slowly get dressed, eat...etc.

Yes yes! This is our DD10. Oh - my - gosh she is slooooowww. Drives us all batty. I think perhaps someone on this site told us about the "Home Routine" app. What a great invention! You can create the morning and evening schedule down to the tiniest detail. Whoever uses it taps on the item they finished, and it shows a star. I don't want to be the yell queen in the morning so I can just hand DD the phone, and have her look at it for every single last item she needs to do (put on socks! brush teeth! put clothes in the laundry room!). I don't have to hear "What am I supposed to do?" after I have said what to do 5 times already.
Good luck!!!

What has worked for my children is giving them a motivation for being ready at a certain time. We don't let them have screen time during the week, so it is a HUGE motivator for them. If they are ready by a certain time, they can have 15 minutes of screen time. It has worked wonders in our house.

The two things that work for us are having a motivator and scaffolding beforehand.

Right now, the motivator is DD12s new school, which places a high priority on attendance. She doesn't want to miss her bus, so once we get her up, she tends to move. If she were really slow, at this point we'd let her be late and take the consequences. That's way more effective than yelling (we know first hand).

In terms of scaffolding, we make sure she gets a shower and finishes any work the night before. Even if she's up a little later. That works because she's much better at night than in the morning, where she's too incoherent to study anyway. We push as much of this earlier in the evening as we can as well. This reduces the amount of stuff that needs to happen in the morning and the number of distractions. Plus I still handle lunch and breakfast. We get her up as late as possible so that she can do the basics and get out the door without too much stress, but without dawdling.

This sounds weird, but if she has more time, to read or study or suddenly decide that none of her outfits work or that she wants a different hairstyle or that her room needs cleaning... it's a lost cause, she'll putter endlessly. But by giving her just enough time to eat, dress, clean up, and head out, it keeps her moving.

The hard part for us is the getting out of bed part. Once she's up, it's pretty much autopilot, but until she's out of bed, she's likely to just fall right back asleep. We're still working on that one.

My end goal is to not have to do anything except set the coffee the night before and kiss her goodbye.

Always get up at least 1.5 hours before you have to leave. Although i do understand the last poster's no time to dawdle policy it doesn't work unless i drive everything.

I think different strategy for different kids. You just have to try to see what works more time, less time, more time with coveted screen time if moves fast, check lists with timer, phone apps.

I think the main goal is to stop yelling. I say just tell child you aren't going to yell or nag anymore and present them with the tools they need (clocks, watches, kitchen timers, check lists) and maybe practice on Saturday and Sunday...then explain that the child has the ability and tools needed and step back. Make a ziplock bag kit of travel tooth brush, pony tail holder, etc. items and say if you run out of time grab this and use it at school but you walk out the door at this time no matter what.

This is what we started working on last night.


I looked for this very app, but they don't have it for Android. If anyone can recommend a simialr app for Android, I'm all ears.

I'm thinking about introducing a motivator, too. I really hate saying goodbye to her on a sour note. So I'd love to get this part of the day sorted. It's different than it used to be since no one is driving her to school. I think that's good in a way, but there is more stress in other ways since there's no drop-dead WE ARE LEAVING thing to motivate her (before, DH was under time pressure to get to work as well, so there was zero wiggle room, and she knew it).


I would like to do this but I don't think she's quite there. Her executive functioning weaknesses are coming to the fore this year as middle school starts, though I also understand that many kids struggle with this at first. I didn't check anything or watch anything homework-wise for the first few weeks of school because I hadn't had to do that for a few years in elementary, and it was not a good scene. A big part of me feels frustrated and wants to just say--if you're late, you're late!--but as I watch her, the competencies don't seem to be in place, and she needs a slower ramp-up.