Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Just...ugh.

Yeah, I actually was thinking this as I was reading your posts. What your son needs and what you are asking for is really just " professional, responsible teacher behavior."

I actually am having a similar problem with DS's math teacher this year. (and it turns out I am not the only person having the issue.. the parents of the NT kiddos want/need the info, too, and are also frustrated). I shot off an email to said teacher this morning - trying to stay on top of her and get her listing the assignments and such on Google Classroom every week. I had to go back through my email before I sent it and took out all the places I apologized and said "don't mean to bother you." This is her job... And it is a very simple small part of her job. She is simply being lazy. I had to take an hour out of my day (and I bill for my time!) to badger her into doing a very basic aspect of her job. And, in place of apologizing, I told her that. If she does not want to have this argument with me every week or so, she'd better shape up. I started cc'ing the principal again, because I know he does not want to be bothered with it and because it is very blatantly professional, responsible teacher behavior!

Anyway, sorry to highjack but I hear you! And I have to give myself my own lecture of "My job is not to be the 'most liked (least annoying) parent' in the school" every once in while as well.

Oh my gosh eco - you are living my (snark-filled) life.

I made the awful-in-hindsight decision to let DS7 watch a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of a Godzilla movie. He loved it sooooo much. Over the next couple weeks, I let him watch a couple more - the dreadful Master Ninja and Santa Claus Conquers Mars.

It was fun to listen to him belly laugh. But then ... the snark started. To be clear - the snark with NO FILTER. Snarky asides during reading time at school. Snarky asides at dinner. Snarky asides while playing basketball. Snarky asides during conversations re "cut the snark."

And of course - these are snarky asides by a PG kid. So - funny, cutting, sometimes devastating.

MST3K is off the menu for now. Snark is sfading a bit. Me - I'm just wondering what my next brilliant misstep will be.

Take care eco. I''m feeling your pain over here!

Sue
P.S. In the interest of full disclosure: last week in a borrrrring meeting, I was struggling to stay awake so I literally typed in my notes, "Just looking busy, typing things and nodding thoughtfully. Note to self - ask 'big picture' question in a few minutes so people think you're listening." So, well, your DS is not alone.

I'm confused. Did DS not answer a 15-point question and write that comment instead, or did he just write the comment but otherwise answer all of the questions? If it is the latter, the teacher has no business taking off points.

Bear with me for a minute on this one - I might sound slightly off my rocker and/or non-sympathetic, but this is something we've struggled with quite a bit (not updating online grade books and teachers who don't respond to email)... so yeah, you might think I'm nuts after you read what I'm thinking, but here it is:

After knowing quite a few teachers and having been through many different teachers as my kids move through secondary school, I think that it's important to remember that teachers have a responsibility to grade fairly, give feedback to students, but I don't necessarily think it's a responsibility to update online grade books by a certain date or answer each and every email a parent sends (unless their prinicipal/school district requires it). Each of us has a different way we choose to approach our jobs, and teachers aren't any different. My ds has some teachers who update the online grade books promptly and others who don't, and at the end of the day, he's only had one real struggle that I would say is due to teacher blatantly not caring to update a gradebook. Some teacher simply have different ways of managing their duties, and yet they are still being responsible and for most kids it can work out a-ok. That *is* why students with organizational skills challenges and EF challenges do need accommodations. If a particular teacher isn't upholding their agreed-upon accommodation (gradebook entries or answering emails), it's time to call a 504 update meeting with that teacher and either reinforce the agreement so it sticks or consider that there might be a slightly different way to approach the accommodation in that class yet accomplish the same objective.

Hope that makes sense!

polarbear

I'm equally confused! One suggestion we've had given to us when we had issues with not understanding grading was to request that all graded assignments be sent home so parents can see them. If it was an assignment that wasn't meant to be sent home (happens a lot here in high school because they re-use the same assignments year after year)... then the student would have to return the assignment to school the next day - but it had to come home first.

polarbear

You made me laugh so hard, Sue! Especially the "ask big picture question" thing--maybe I will teach DS that trick while I'm trying to teach him all the other ones. I hope your DS outgrows the snark earlier than mine has...

I don't know yet. It wasn't the kind of assignment that had actual questions, more like a graphic representation of something. I asked if he had left out information but haven't received a response. My hunch is the teacher thinks DS was being inappropriate by putting that in the space. DS said he should have written larger on the rest of it, and then he wouldn't have had the space. No biggie--just another day in the life. I don't expect to hear back from the history teacher, based on history. :P


Nope, I don't think you are nuts but as a former teacher myself, I do think it's a teacher's responsibility to monitor and make sure any child isn't failing before the last day of a quarter. The grade-book thing is just a communication piece for us--it could be accomplished some other way, certainly.

Same goes for email. Maybe some email isn't urgent, but I'm thinking about last year when my child was circling the drain and two of his three core teachers were ignoring my "weekly check in" email (504) and not letting me know about (what must have been--I still don't even know!) serious behavioral issues. My child was clinically depressed and I thought he was okay when he was so not okay they rated him as at-risk or clinically significant on every. single, area. of the BASC-2, BRIEF, and sensory surveys they filled out! That's not responsible and it's not okay--but I don't think that's the sort of thing you are talking about, probably.

It is quite acceptable to have 'this page is intentionally blank' on things though. Diagrammes fill up space better though.

Is there a stated rule against doodling on projects? Would 15 points have been deducted for random swirls or flowers? What about a random scribble to get the ink going on your pen?
I think the teacher is out of line, and I hope your DS stays quirky! FWIW I kinda regret how much time I spent talking my older DD out of being weird and wish I'd spent that time instead talking other people out of being uptight. Yes, you have to learn about appropriate behavior for certain people/situations but, come on, that's nothing on the weirdness scale

Oh yeah there are unwritten rules against doodling - at least in this part of the world!!! My daughter is a champion doodler, and it has gotten her in trouble! I haven't seen points taken off yet though. She started the year trying to be "super good" and now those doodles are creeping back in. I wonder when the teachers will notice those snarky cartoon she does. The teachers caught her last year and put her on alert. Scared her for awhile.
Notice that the cartoons are "snarky". Sigh. It can rub some the wrong way for sure.