Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Just...ugh.

This is really just a vent, so go ahead and click out if that is annoying.

Today is the last day of the first quarter. DS is off to a really good start this year, all the way around improvement over last.

Yesterday, I receive email from teacher. DS is missing two major assignments. The zeros bring his grade from the 90-somethings I've been seeing all semester, to 68%. If DS receives a 68%, he is GONE. As in the next day.

Teacher is out of compliance with 504. Assignments are to be entered in gradebook within 24 hours of making them. These assignments were made 9/17 and 9/22 and entered...yesterday.

The good news? Teacher and DS both say he did them but did not properly submit through the online system. Praying they are still on the hard drive of the computer he uses.

The other good (albeit somewhat ridiculous) news? DS can receive up to 30 extra credit points for bringing in cleaning supplies. <---yes, really. I won't comment on the ethics of this, but will thank my lucky stars I can afford to pay $15 in Clorox Wipes to tip him back into the 70% range.

This is a new teacher who has been out of compliance with 504 all year. I have made gentle, direct reminders, but was not terribly worked up about it because it is an elective class and DS had a 96% until last week.

Here are the newest qualities I am trying to develop in myself: be obsequious. Supplicating. Develop ability to beg. I wrote a pathetic email to the teacher explaining what the consequences to DS are if he does not get at least a C, and explaining this is the reason for that accommodation. I put all the blame on DS and his notoriety around failing to turn in completed work.

Just...ugh.

Yikes. I hate it when a teacher unknowingly or negligently sets up a kid to fail.

But since you have documented the teacher's non-compliance with the 504, and discriminating against a kid with disabilities, even one with high intelligence and achievement, is illegal, I think you've got the better ground here.

If they don't give him a chance to hand in or redo those assignments, they are just plain wrong. If they try to remove him from the program because of that, they are just plain wrong.

And of course, I totally sympathize too. You don't want to be the "annoying parent" who complains to the school all of the time. But you have a track record of mistakes, non-compliance, and apparently a lack of problem-solving effort.

I do NOT want to be a PITA and know first-hand how difficult the first year of teaching is...but yeah.

Sat here for an hour hovering over gradebook and refreshing compulsively. DS is out of the woods and his grade is back to 93.7 (thank you, Clorox Wipes and assignments which were apparently not purged).

I was NOT looking forward to *that* fight--and no doubt it would have been a fight. Not with the teacher, but with the coordinator, who is under the impression that the most important thing is refusing to consider evidence pointing to 504 non-compliance, and not allowing me to voice concerns.

Another morning wasted, fretting over things that shouldn't be happening in the first place. As if just trying to raise this child weren't challenging enough.

So the chlorox wipes wiped out the dirty stuff--the bad grades! That's great!

I have no idea how it is you maintain your composure. I would be furious day in and day out. I don't think DD's 504 is being followed either, and I was never even given an updated copy but at least in her case, poor grades or missing work don't really affect her at this point, other than teaching her to be careless and that it doesn't matter if she does or does not complete work. Luckily I think the school's plan is to write an IEP, but now we have the problem of her pediatrician not sending the 6 pages of ADHD checklists that the school insists upon.

Maybe Clorox should use this in their marketing materials? Ha ha!

I drink a lot of beer. :P And then there is the benefit of the numbing aspects of my PTSD. :P JK...about the beer, anyhow.

I just keep telling myself the year is so much better so far, and that this situation is not forever. Also, it's a first-world problem, isn't it? I have lowered my expectations and tried to put it all in perspective. Some days I succeed and some days, not so much.

It's still good you are proactive about all of this--I wonder if DS might have fared better if I had been a little more involved in his earlier education. I was just relieved he made good grades and seemed happy enough...we had a lot of lost ground to make up, because of my laissez faire attitude.

What's the deal with the checklists? Are they hell bent on new diagnostic info?

I drink a lot of beer. :P And then there is the benefit of the numbing aspects of my PTSD. :P JK...about the beer, anyhow.

Please don't kid about the beer. Beer is our friend. I actually favor beer over wine. Because if I crack a bottle of wine after one of THOSE days, well it's gone.

Hang in there eco. Your kiddo is so lucky to have you in there swinging.

I don't know--they already have documentation, from the pediatrician stating that she has ADHD and it meets the DSM criteria. Techinically they don't even need that from an outside doc. The school psych should be licensed, she could give DD a educational diagnosis of ADHD. But they insist upon sending these docs about 6 pages worth of forms to fill out. Doc says these forms take an hour to fill out. He said "Maybe I'll just send them my notes, instead." Ummmm....that's not going to work. The school has called his office about 6 times and now they are asking me if there are other docs where they can send the forms instead. Even the school nurse admits it's ridiculous and frustrating but she says this is what she's being instructed to do. They already have, in DD's file, documentation from 3 different docs that she has ADHD. One even included a diagnosis code. But it's not good enough.

Yes, beer is safer, isn't it?

Thank you for the kind comment. I see so many kids in my work whose parents know nothing at all about these processes (504/RTI/IEP, etc). Nobody from the district has offered them any information--big surprise, yeah? These are usually children from low SES (primarily Medicaid) and whom one would not need any kind of advanced degree to identify as needing some help. Help is not forthcoming, parents are not educated and are under-resourced. That is a whole lot sadder than having a resistant gifted program for my 2e child who will *probably* be okay in the end because he is smart enough to compensate.

Well, I'm passing the trophy for Worst District Process Ever to you, blackcat. Our district is maddening in some respects, but (so far) we haven't had this sort of trouble. For 504--all I had to produce was a letter from doctor with diagnosis. Easy/peasy.

Eco.. Been there and I'm glad you got this resolved & she accepted the late work. I'd be drinking that beer too in your situation. First I'd probably pace the house and rant at this air first.

We had frozen custard for dinner instead a beer-fest...ha ha. I did a bit of pacing and ranting...all better now.

For today's installment of Just...ugh. DS' latest OMG why don't you get it STOP IT DS moment:

He had a project worth 40 points in history.
He received 25.
I asked teacher why (teacher does not supply much feedback).
Teacher said because DS wrote "Large Empty Space Ignore It" in an empty space on his page.

So, I tell DS writing this cost him 15 points. DS is puzzled--why, he didn't think it was smart aleck... I say--I don't know, DS, but you know this teacher doesn't have a sense of humor so don't do this stuff. DS suddenly has an aha moment and says, "Oh! That was really stupid--because the minute I wrote that, the space was no longer empty, so it doesn't make any sense."

Ugh, DS.

I also see where he has written "I am just pretending to write down important information" on his notes for the class. UGH. Do not turn in that stuff, DS!!

It's really strange how some teachers seem to find him quirky and funny and others are mortally offended by his style.

Guess what class his lowest grade is in, even though it's his favorite subject outside of school? :P