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I sympathize. My son speaks in three volumes: loud, shouting, and communicating with the deaf. The higher volumes seem to be associated with excitement and fatigue. We deal with this by increasing physical activity during the day and by providing a range of hyper stimulating discussion topics, so that any one glitch in the mental Matrix can be stemmed by dangling another appealing carrot. I hope he never ages out of this strategy, because I don't know that I have other ideas.

A little light at the end of the tunnel: though still a work in progress, it has become easier with increasing maturity.

This is totally my DS as well. He will be thinking of something at bedtime, and will pick up right where he left off the next morning. We try not to talk for the last 20 minutes before he goes to sleep. Helps him wind down for bedtime.

Thanks for the link. I especially liked the one by Gail Post. Her suggestion to try mindfulness was something I wasn't aware of. It seems to be a way to calm down after the initial reaction instead of stopping it altogether, though. I think like aeh said, more maturing will help.

An example of this is something that happened last night at bedtime. DS was using the toilet and found a fly on his countertop staggering around. He allowed it to climb unto his finger and came out to show us. He said he saw it flying around earlier just fine and was wanting to know why it was acting strangely now. We knee-jerk reacted to a fly crawling on his hand and told him to flush it down the toilet and wash his hands; that flies are dirty. He didn't want to put it in the toilet, but did with tears in his eyes. He refused to flush it and told me he just couldn't do it. I looked into the toilet and the darned thing was crawling back out, so I flushed it down.
When he was in bed, with tears running down his cheeks, he wanted to know where the fly would go, if it felt any pain, etc. I told him it was just dead and it happened so fast he felt no pain. Then I had to explain he had had a long life and was feeling poorly, so flushing him was putting him out of his misery. *eye roll*

I can see how this sort of emotional concern for a bug may eventually give him grief with the guys. Which reminds me: has anyone seen the commercial for Kleenex where a boy is on a bus and speaks to a girl crying? This is like my little guy!

We regularly provide safe passage for insects and spiders out of the house, where they can be free. I do draw the line at mosquitoes though, which my DS objected to my swatting.

I shared this phrase with DD and it's been helpful for both of us.

Thank you for sharing.

We have the bug issue here, as well. If it's of any comfort, I'm pretty sure DS12 would not exhibit any concern about this around his peers. He's not the world's most socially aware child (understatement), but he would understand this would be socially awkward. He lets his sensitive side show a lot more at home than out in the world.

That compassion is a positive trait, IMO. I'd rather have that than a child who pulls wings off the fly! It is a bit overwhelming for all involved at times, though.

We have the bug issue here also, so I am taking some real comfort from these posts. DD6 had trouble sleeping for days after seeing a monarch butterfly die. She kept sobbing that it needed to finish migrating before it was supposed to die. In her mind, the loss of one monarch, too soon, was throwing off the entire balance of the universe.

Yes, sounds just like our son - same age of 8.5 years old. Speaking loud is his style, whether he is physically far from a listener, or just an inch away. I believe it is his will to want to be heard and taken seriously at all times. He gets in trouble at school sometimes, in afterschool, when all are to work quietly and he is not the quiet one. As to sleep, it is a whole different chapter in our home. In his view, he does not need much sleep. He quotes famous and accomplished people like Napoleon or Thatcher who slept for 3-4 hours a night and he feels it should apply to him, too (at his age :)). He always has too much to learn to go to sleep even at midnight. I will not even mention the books, IPads, flashlights I find in his bed in the morning. Yet, how can I complain about his thirst for knowledge? Good luck and I wish you lots of patience. They grow and change (thankfully) and give us different challenges then.