Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Using exact vocabulary

Heaven help me if I say "get in the car"....instead of "get in the van". Which is what we own. When my son was smaller I used to say "I speak a language called vague and you speak a language called specific....interpret what I mean...you never know if you jump all over me and won't get in the vehicle because I call it a car and not a van that you might be missing out on a trip to the park or getting ice cream or something fun." It only took a few random surprise trips when he was interpreting well for him to get the picture to just be agreeable. Then there is the whole meltdown when the ice cream truck came by and I said he could get an ice cream...but he wanted a popcicle and thought he couldn't get one. Interpret! I said you could get a treat from the truck...I have money...I told you to pick what you want...just because I called it an ice cream...interpret "cold sweet item from the truck of any kind" if it is unclear ask before you melt down...the answer is pick any kind of treat from the menu of the truck. So hard to have different speech and thinking styles than child.

I can turn your DS's bad habit into a revenue stream, because some of my coworkers are so hopelessly bad at communicating their technical issues from constantly misusing vocabulary, unclear pronouns, and vague language in general, and turning your DS loose on the place to teach speech precision would yield significant productivity gains.

This reminds me of what I say about my DS3. "You really shouldn't be reading while you are still not using the potty."

It is normal in our household, too. (If I'm honest, parents as well as kids although we let a lot more go than they do.) I chalk it up to learning the language and wanting to be correct with it. That said, mine don't tend to meltdown over it, I can see how that would get tiring quickly!

Yes, imagine a toddler with a deep inner urge to learn all the body parts... not just arm... or shoulder/elbow/wrist... but the specific muscles and bones. It's great for telling the pediatrician where it hurts.

I think this is a great response for a child with whom there is a shared context, for example the car/van which you own and is parked in front of you.

Depending upon circumstances, there may often be a need to be precise. This may be especially true when individuals' knowledge base may differ (due to age, profession, expertise, SES, region, culture, or any number of other factors). For example: Another example may be discussing what is meant by "differentiation" when advocating. Another example: when applying to colleges, there is a difference between "early action" and "early decision". The list goes on...

Great advice, IMO. Unfortunately seeking clarification may result in some making accusations of being pedantic or "picking on" others.

This matches my experience as well. The goal is to have a mutual understanding.

I remember the dinosaur days. DS was always extremely precise and could tell just about any dinosaur from sight. I could never remember how to pronounce Quetzalcoatlus (which, he was quick to point out, wasn't actually a dinosaur).

The need for precision doesn't go away, at least not by 7. Just about 5 minutes ago, he asked me to choose between three things. Not paying very much attention, I said, "Neither." He said, "That's not a choice. You mean 'none of them'?"

DS is almost 10 and his insistence on precision hasn't gone away at all. It hasn't gotten worse, at least, but I'm not sure that would have been possible. When he was a toddler and asked a question he would add "I want the long answer". It wasn't enough to have exactly the right word, every other scrap of information on the subject was required, as well. I know a lot more now about some very odd topics than I did when he was born.

Cookie, we have exactly the same vague/specific language issues. I have spent hours on conversations like 'yes, I know it's a compact SUV and not a car or SUV, but it's a bit awkward and time-consuming to say compact SUV and really is there anything else in our driveway to which I could be referring?'. I'm going to try your excellent approach.

My DD11 is very much like this (and so am I, to a somewhat lesser extent). I had always assumed that it was part of her autism. Something to keep an eye out for, anyway. I have told her that she will make a great patent lawyer someday.

For DD5, it was a phase. She probably cannot remember most of her anatomy words.

I think something important is to ensure the adults around your DS don't patronize him by infantalizing their speech when interacting with him. It's important for him to feel respected, and use of accurate terminology is a way of conveying respect for your son's interests. Other adults may slip into saccharine over-simplifications. You can run interference or, if your LO is an outspoken firecracker like mine, he will self-advocate forcefully (and mercilessly).

I remember one library visit when DS was around 18 months old and one librarian was bragging about DS to another within his earshot. He had been talking about paleobatrachuses (+1 in the Dinosaur Train votes!), which she relayed as, "He's talking about a crustacean frog. It's amazing!" To that DS replied, "No, a Cretaceous frog. Frogs are amphibians, not crustaceans."