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This will be a key piece of learning for DS. Have a look at Michelle Garcia Winner's Social Thinking curriculum.

http://socialthinking.com/ -- search by age for middle school materials

A school or private SLP could (should) be working on this with him.

(obligatory disclaimer: I do not agree with Winner's positions against ABA therapy; but her curriculum materials are useful.)


Yes-- if you can find the right person to deliver the services.

Some school SLPs are trained to deal with articulation issues but not really social communication issues. In this regard, usually the fresher-out-of-school, the better.

ETA: p.s. In addition to direct instruction from the SLP, DS would benefit from having pushed-in services (could be SLP or Intervention Specialist) who would give him feedback on his interactions at various points in his day. This is needed in order to generalize the skills.

I am so excited for you and DS!

Looked at the Winner materials--is your suggestion that we do some of this (formal curriculum) at home, or that I find someone familiar with it to help, professionally?

There is a SLP program at the university here--they said they could work with DS on pragmatics, but at that time I was still waiting for the report. They didn't offer this information, but a teacher friend told me they will work on sliding scale (they don't accept insurance), so I may make further inquiries, once I find out what the school is willing to do.


I find his stories pretty amusing, too, and am noticing that he actually told me this (progress). I worry that he is non-receptive to the point of being surly and off-putting.

Thing is, DS really does need help with this--not to the level of showing him how paper fits in the notebook (ha ha) but in cueing him to do this.

He also seems to have no understanding of how to ask for and receive help. This happens in all environments.

He *really* has trouble when the class runs long, and time to pack up is rushed. Not sure if that is something that can be addressed by 504.

I really think he needs help in the context that causes the most trouble--school.

I received another feedback email, also positive, but it contained the phrase "he was good in class." Trying not to read too much into that, but the language bothers me. The hiring admin keeps hiring brand-new, first year teachers (the one referenced here is one)--which kind of drives me nuts, mostly because this program doesn't have a lot of oversight, so there is nobody to really mentor/monitor--and these kids are complicated!

I have already noticed two important things: the HS teachers are much more responsive and professional in their communication (and also have webpages with important documents and information). Also, the only "seasoned" MS teacher DS has (who has taught in the program for decades) was immediately responsive and professional.

Ideally, an SLP should be involved at school and do some 1:1 (teaching the curriculum) and some push-in service (generalizing the skills learned in the 1:1). Failing that, private SLP could at least teach the skills; in that case an Intervention Specialist could take responsibility for generalizing the skills at school.

Failing that, the parent gets the materials (used; they are very expensive) and does all the teaching. BTDT. I would say the latter is the last resort, because as you note, the place where the deficits are glaring is school. To make gains in that environment, you need support to build those skills and practice deploying them there.


Sounds useful to know.


Yes. He may think he's doing great on organization when he's really followed by a giant cloud of missing paper.

Building self-awareness about deficits without cultivating self-loathing is tricky, but very important. All humans make mistakes, all have weaknesses, but if we know ours at least we can work around them and use safeguards to make sure we turn stuff in. Ultimately this builds a sense of security and confidence in one's capabilities.


This can be learned. It is a hard skill because it has several parts: there is a self-awareness piece (recognizing that one is on the wrong track by comparing what one is doing to what's supposed to be done) and a social communication piece (asking for help appropriately). DS13 required direct instruction on this. We still prompt it sometimes. This can be a SLP or an IS job, or combination.


You can build in organizational skills support. e.g. every teacher checks his planner at the end of every class (and he has permission to be a minute late to the next class if need be); or there's time built in at the end of every day or in study hall where the IS goes through his planner and the gradebook with him to help HIM learn to assess where he is with work and what needs to be taken care of.


Absolutely.


As in, he has a reputation? Wasn't expecting him to be "good", and he was?


HS teachers tend to be more subject-matter specialists than middle school teachers are. They are invested in the kid's learning the actual material they are interested in. A kid who excels in learning the subject matter may be appreciated more by HS teachers than by MS teachers.

However, HS teachers can also have expectations that all the organizational/social learning is already in place: they can be baffled by a kid who needs support in these ways. It can work, but it may require some conversations.

Yes, this makes sense.


Describes last year exactly--we nicknamed him Pigpen (from Peanuts) but the cloud was paper. Ha!

He has always been "okay" with the ADHD diagnosis--but is struggling with the new one, because he thinks of it as a "slur." I think we'll get there: historically, his self-concept is pretty intact. I think this is partly because of the social issues, ironically. Not being aware of others' perceptions can be protective, in a sense.

Yes, the "reputation" thing is troubling. I'm also not crazy about using the word "good" because it implies if he'd had difficulties (I asked about engagement and assignments, social interactions), he'd be viewed as "bad." I'm trying not to worry too much...the perception of him as rotten is the part of this that is most difficult for me. Breathing, letting go...

This is the vibe I'm getting, so far. I shared a brief "challenges and strengths" re: Asperger's kids and so far the teachers are commenting they see the strengths. I can't even explain how happy this makes me--before last year, I'd always had a lot of good feedback to help even out the difficult stuff. It's helpful to be able to share positives with DS, as well.

I hope. Thank you so much for your help!

This has been our experience - although the teachers aren't always necessarily "baffled" - many times with our hs teachers the issue is time - they have anywhere from 4-7 different classes per week with at least 20 students in each class, so they don't want to be bothered with a student who has organizational challenges. Not accepting late work, having everything done a specific way, etc are tools they use to manage a large amount of paper-grading. And things that can be highly challenging to organizationally challenged students

On the flip side, I've found that for the most part our high school teachers are also much more used to having students with accommodations in their classes, and don't argue the "small" stuff like using a cell phone to take a picture of the board, using a laptop to type in place of handwriting / etc.

polarbear

So we had the 504 meeting yesterday. I asked for teachers to check planner (or phone picture) and that was deemed unreasonable because of what you reference above (so many students, etc.) That even with HS science teacher sitting there saying she does that anyway with lots of kids, informally, who have organizational challenges. DS is supposed to write down assignments and get initials but it's his responsibility. We will see how that goes.

Compromise: DS has a study hall period at the end of the day and that teacher will check planner and send DS to classes to get assignments/initials where he hasn't. I think that will work.

Program coordinator said (and I agree) that by keeping up on electronic gradebook, I should be aware of assignments and due dates. I was able to demonstrate the gradebook is not up to date. So it's now in 504 that teachers record assignments within 24 hours of making them. The program coordinator commented they should be doing that anyway--so she did not feel that's unreasonable. I like that accommodation, although the district 504 coordinator made a comment that "I was getting a lot of accommodations" as if I were being demanding.

Another accommodation is that teachers respond to my email within 24 hours. The assistant principal and program coordinator both stated that this one should be a no-brainer and is expected of teachers in any case. It's now in the 504, though.

IMO, the only accommodations on the 504 that are outside of ordinary good practice are extended time (two class periods) and sending DS to gather info at the end of day. Really, the only times we've utilized the extended time have been when I didn't know about things or they were lost--so it's a safety net, not something I want to encourage for DS. If he weren't at risk of being removed from the program, I'd probably just let him learn some "natural consequences" in many cases (smaller daily assignments, etc.)

I was really uncomfortable at many points in the 504 meeting, because it was clear that school people thought I was being "over the top" in wanting very specific wording about the communication accommodations. When I'd try the "last year this didn't happen and it caused problems" angle, at one point I was instructed to "lay last year to rest and start fresh." So I guess my communication was perceived as complaining, when I really meant it to be informative to the process.

I am also to immediately report non-compliance to the appropriate administrator (one at HS level, one at MS level).

Special Ed process coordinator attended and I handed her my request for eval letter. She took NP report and also made copious notes. She seems very practical and professional. I learned in this meeting that 504 can no longer include BIP.

One point I made in meeting was that medication helps with behavioral issues but does not aid DS in learning social communication or organizational skills. I hope I did a good job being assertive. I did my best to keep it factual--unfortunately, that included needing to correct statements that were not accurate, and that was uncomfortable.

At least it is over.

eco, you did a great job! Good work!


I totally understand how this feels uncomfortable - I've been in very similar situations in meetings with our school and it does feel really uncomfortable. It's important to just remind yourself that if it's feeling uncomfortable, the reason here is that the school staff didn't do *their* job last year - they want to "lay last year to rest" because you have evidence that things were not handled appropriately last year. In this case, with no previous 504, it's perhaps ok for the school to look at this as "a fresh start" - but if the 504 isn't followed or things don't work this year, keep notes and don't be intimidated into not bringing it up at future meetings - learning from what's happened in the past is a very important way of understanding how to provide FAPE to a student who has any type of challenge in the classroom.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thank you. For clarification, he did in fact have a 504 last year and the school was out of compliance a majority of the year. I honestly didn't know what to do, and didn't handle it right (made a lot of assumptions, based on previous experience), that ended up being very harmful for my DS.

That was the ONLY reason I referred to "last year." I was trying to make the point that when 504 is not adhered to, some really bad things happen.

I am supposed to immediately report non-compliance. So I already have two reports, for crying out loud! I did not bring those up per se but asked for specific language so I would know what to consider compliance or non-compliance.

My example is: I sent weekly check in last Friday morning and have yet to hear from two of the teachers. I needed to know what a reasonable expectation is and now it's written in the 504 that 24 hours is the expectation.

The thing is--it is not my style to be rigid and I see no reason to report this stuff EXCEPT (and this is a huge exception) if there is critical information that I need about my DS that indicates he is not in good shape, mentally and emotionally.

I have a lot of things to do in my life besides hover over the electronic gradebook and take screenshots to make sure nobody's backdating stuff and make unnecessary reports about insignificant events.

I guess I am frustrated, can you tell? OTOH, I realize a lot of this is just a really steep learning curve and we are making a lot of adjustments as we go on.

Thank you for your help!

Thank you! And you are correct. My only objective in any of this is to make sure he is actually learning--both academically and developmentally. I am not "that parent" in wanting him to be a superstar, but I want him to actually learn.

It's a conundrum. He can handle difficult academic concepts but the EF stuff overwhelms him. TBH--it *is* totally overwhelming. Each teacher has their own system, multiple binders, lots of tabs, long term assignments, etc. etc., and that wouldn't be such a problem, except they get a lot of their grade from the ability to manage the systems.

I know he needs to learn this stuff--but it's bothersome it has the potential to exclude him from gifted services, because he could probably pass the midterms and finals with pretty solid percentages without all of the binders. He is an information sponge and really very functional, intellectually.