Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion First day of summer camp was a disaster!

DS didn't care for camp, either, for the same reasons as the OP. Finally after 1st grade (and after he came home from camp telling me a counselor taught them how to play Chubby Bunny...yes, I called the park district about that!) we signed up for summer school and it was great. It was more structured, smaller groups, he had some autonomy in going from one classroom to another. And no waiting around! Over a few summers he took things like Journalism, cartooning, floor hockey, ping pong, math, Legos, there was a wide range of options. He enjoyed it way more than summer camp, got more out of it, and was with friends. Later he went to computer camp, also fun.

To anyone who has not heard of this - this is VERY serious. If you overhear that your child is playing this at camp or anywhere else, for that matter, you need to put a stop to it. Depending upon the age of the child, you need to talk to your child. We know of a child who died playing this game - no joke.

Sorry for the off-topic sidebar. Back to the issue at hand...

Agreed. Wikipedia and snopes cover the unfortunate deaths from this game.

I'm linking this thread to one on how to find summer camps for gifted kids, and also linking that thread to this one, as this thread contains many important considerations for choosing a summer experience for a child.

I get that you do not need the camp for childcare. But I'd encourage you to keep trying. Can you stay with him for a while? I realize you have your other child to care for. It might help him and it might help you gauge how bad or good things are at camp.

I know many kids whose parents have been quick to pull them out of every camp situation they do not immediately take to. Over the years, this can escalate such that the kids have a feeling they can "ditch" camps and the parents are always nervous about it. I also know kids who refuse to go to camps unless they know many/the majority of kids, because they typically operate in small, known social groups (eg--small private schools). This can really become an issue for working parents in summer. I know kids differ, and summer can be hard for introverts, but I do think it's important to work on learning to adjust to new environments, because this skill will be called for again and again.

I couldn't agree more.

Given that your DS has a big transition to kindergarten coming up, I'd proceed very carefully here. You don't want him to reach the conclusion that one bad day means it's all over.

This is PRECISELY why I tried to work on the issue with DS when I did. DS is the cautious type that could have also refused to then go to school (but K went fine, because we had already worked through the issue). Also, some of the very classes he was expressing doubts about were classes HE had wanted to sign up for/had interests in...so I saw a pattern developing that I felt I needed to work on with him. OP, your situation could be different, though, I understand.

How did today go?

So today was better. Last night I emailed the camp director and told her about the rough transitions. I asked her to ask the counselor to check in with my son a few times during the day.

This morning I told my son stories about all the times I had been the new person in a new place (in kindergarten, moving to New York City from a small town, new jobs, etc.) I explained how hard it is for anybody to get through those first couple of days. That seemed to really comfort him and put things into perspective a bit.

When we arrived at camp, the counselors were all very warm and greeted my son by name. They also enthusiastically told my son that they would be working on chants today and asked him for high fives. My son just glared at them. I walked my son to his group and waited for a few minutes while he settled in. His main counselor came over and greeted him and admired some washers that my son had found on the ground. I told him that we were leaving and he waved goodbye and headed off without hesitating.

When I picked my son up, he was a bit off because he didn't really eat all day (he played with and smashed his food and only ate the treat). He wasn't thrilled but he wasn't completely negative, either. He told me about one project he made. He was proud that he got points for stumping the counselors with a question (why does copper conduct electricity well?) He also was annoyed that counselors in a circuit/tinkering camp didn't know the answer to his question (but he did). I asked if he learned anything and he said he learned the chant, "Liar! Liar! Your pants are on fire!" He also learned a camp song. Nothing about tinkering. While the website promised work on parallel circuits, instead they made simple sculptures with LEDs attached to a battery.

My son's friend continued to ignore him most of the day. He even ignored me when I greeted him. My son said the boy played with him a bit but mostly played by himself. I usually think of the kid as being very social so I'm surprised. I thought about emailing his mom but I'm not sure how to approach it or if it would help. Maybe I should check in and see if he's enjoying camp or has mentioned anything?

This evening it's not clear if my son will be going to camp tomorrow. He said that if his friend played with him that camp would be okay but it's not fun when his only friend is ignoring him and the projects aren't interesting. I agree but I'm also amazed by how much better the second day went. I think we will see how he feels in the morning.

Thanks again for all the great insight and advice!

That. Oh that.

Even DD's pottery camp - which was exactly like you describe yours - was only half an hour a day of pottery (and they weren't allowed near the wheel). As for for anything techy, I've finally accepted that the closest thing to a functional science camp I could ever find is trying to convince some nice physics grad student to let DS job-shadow him for a week....

Lepa, it sounds like you have found a great balance. Encourage and support him to not give up too easily, but recognize there's lots of reasons the camp may be a poor fit, and none of them are his fault. Keep doing what you're doing: give it a fair try, talk to him about the challenge of transitions and what would make a good match. And then, feel comfortable bailing if reasoned discussion - not knee-jerk panic - says this is a poor match. My very introverted, noise-sensitive DD wanted nothing to do with camps until she was about 7, but now has a long list of things she wants to try. It's lovely to be a SAHM and have the luxury of letting her wait until she's ready.

This echoes our experience. Making a list of pros and cons during the discussion of this camp, or even a list of pros and cons of each day, may help with decision-making and guiding the discussion.

Weighing the various pros can cons in this case, is the most weight being placed on the friend's behavior rather than on the camp offerings? Seeing the decision-making process being placed on paper teaches the child a tool for future decision making. If you add the name of the camp, date, and the child's age and keep this for future reference, this may make a great catalyst for future discussion and planning. For example, when making plans for summer activities for next year, when the same friend (or former friend) is in one of your child's classes and becomes the subject of child's discussion at home, or when your child looks back on how he has grown as compared with what he used to think was important.

Keeping a copy of the camp description with your decision-making page can also be a great tool for teaching your child about hyperbole, especially marketing hype. When vetting future activities you may wish to ask how much time of each day is spent on the featured activity.