Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Gifted girls

Yes, that would have been great! But she was flustered and embarrassed, and tends to be shy to start with. She said later that she should have said, "Wait, there are BOYS on this call?" But she didn't think of it until later, of course.

HowlerKarma - we've had the same sort of thoughts about our DD12 a few times. No idea where she gets the idea that she is a fraud, but it is definitely there.

I have also seen it often in my students. One in particular was so convinced that she was a fraud she stopped being able to function in class because she was convinced that she shouldn't be able to do things as easily and as well as she could. It was very sad, and she is still working through these issues.

I think that middle school girls benefit so much from being told how smart they are AND how this effects others' perceptions of them before they start puberty. Because once puberty starts they seem to have an even harder time understanding that they really could be as smart as they are. I think this is one reason why so many girls opt out of science and math at this age - they no longer believe that they should be able to do those subjects and no one is explaining that they should be able to and that they can do it. I have colleagues who just take girls' sudden lack of confidence in themselves at that age as the norm and nothing to be concerned about. When I have explained why it is important to support them and help them through they call me crazy and walk away! Needless to say, I continue to pester them.
I have a master's degree in physics, so I have lived similar situations of having people shocked that I am a female physicist and can carry on conversations about complex physical situations. It is a drag, and does make you feel embarrassed and frustrated. I have had many times when I have thought of great comebacks later on. However, over the years, I have learned how to respond in the moment. The interesting thing is that it doesn't always help - it has ended up with the other person deciding I was being a bully or worse. (A reaction that they would not have had if it had been a male questioning them.)

Intparent, I just relayed you a personal experience for your DD in PM.

Yes, Kerry! It's so frustrating! Ironically, in many circumstances, it is both men and women who demean or underestimate young professional women.

Regarding imposter syndrome, the original post's quoted article's second link discusses this:
(emphasis added)

Note that attributing failure to lack of effort reveals a growth mindset;
attributing failure to a lack of ability reveals a fixed mindset.

This is consistent with and

I have worked in IT since 1986 and have only seen this sort of behavior from a minority of Indian men. a) - pretending not to hear a question when they realise that the other person will potentially make their cluelessness obvious and b) seemingly incapable of accepting correction from a woman. Admittedly, I started out in IT when the average IQ (or PRI, at least) of a programmer was probably higher (lower PRI was weeded out via aptitude tests) and have worked at companies considered leaders in their fields.

Keeping in mind that this is just another college student behaving this way, and that therefore his reaction doesn't represent the reality of the industry in any way, I'd explain this reaction to my DD in terms of, "This guy is probably 35 and joining the call from his mom's basement. The question had nothing to do with computing, and everything to do with the fact that he hasn't spoken to a female who wasn't his mother in the last seven years."

literally sitting in dr's office right now while daughter is being tested (full psychoedu. eval.).
Ran across this thread, great discussion.

Here is a ted talk, which on the face is interesting stuff about posture building power and confidence (which I believe is related to the discussion) but ALSO a great GEM towards the end where the author mentions her own struggle with imposter syndrome. She has more reason than most to have doubted her abilities; also a bit on how she has worked with others on their own imposter syndrome.
(haven't watched it in a while and I can't review it now..anyway I recollect it being pretty cool).

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

For what it's worth, as a materials engineer, I have encountered this kind of behavior professionally a couple of times, both from Japanese men. One guy when I was interning in Alabama ("You go to MIT? Is your daddy president of the university?"), and a student when I was TAing graduate thermodynamics (he never came to tutorials or talked to me about his poor grades, and I got the impression from him that my sex was the reason why not). Those are the only egregious incidents I recall of the many, many men that I have interacted with professionally, although of course there have been lower-level slights. I am now a patent lawyer, not a practicing engineer, but (to be slightly crude) whenever an engineer or scientist has tried to get into a dick-measuring contest with me, I've won.

chris1234 - great TEDTalk. We shared it in a workplace discussion group and it had rave reviews. Amazing story.