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For Chase Bank customers, HS checking is an option for 13-17 year olds (can keep until they turn 19). If it is linked to a parent account, there is no fee. It comes with a debit card. We have one for ds15 and will probably open one next year for ds13. I think it's good experience, and it was nice when he received a few checks for his confirmation. He's learned to electronically deposit, pay for things with a debit card, set up a credit/debit card online (on his Amazon account) etc...

Great! I see lots of great posts and some ideas to try! I am not wed to our current system but it has worked well overall during these tween years. Once DS and DD hit the teenage years, it may make sense to implement some modifications. It is mainly with DD that I foresee possible struggles. So far, money for grades was the only argumentative exchange and that was a couple of months ago and I think she has accepted that I won't budge on that particular issue. DD is a spender and always wants stuff, particularly if she doesn't have to pay for it.

Anyhow, I feel better now and not so much a scrooge. It appears that my approach is fairly middle-of-the-road, at least among the responding parents here. Some of my kids' classmates are given far more than I am comfortable with providing. It seems excessive, to me at least, for 6th graders to walk in with a Starbucks drink every morning. I do believe that it is appropriate for my kids to contribute most of their merit scholarships to the costs of the camp even if I had already paid. However, I also wanted to reward them for the extra effort of preparing a strong application since that would affect the outcome. To be fair, DS was completely fine and even DD wasn't actually whining since she knew upfront - it was more a look of of longing and jokingly attempting to appropriate the funds.

Regarding savings and checking accounts, I had both as a minor and they are fairly common. Since minors do not have the legal capacity to contract, an adult will have to sign the paperwork as well. Some banks will automatically convert these trust accounts to a regular account while other banks will make you get a new account number.

DD thinks that Starbucks is wonderful (and why wouldn't she when they are basically sugar and caffeine bombs). One of her aunts would get them for her (decaf, because that's SOOO much better, right?). I refused to buy them -- for her or myself -- because they are a) ridiculously expensive and b) terrible for you. Since we formalized her allowance and refused to pay for random snacks / drinks she went through the following stages of budgeting:

1. Joy -- I can buy what I want!
2. Shock -- How much do these cost?
3. Grief -- I can't go to the movie with my friend now.
4. Acceptance -- I think I'll just have a little coffee from the pot in the morning.

I think it's nice of you to share the scholarship. I wouldn't have, but would have pointed out that the money we saved was still in the household fund and available for other things in the future.

Older DD13 puts too high a value on cash - she never spends any at all. So I hand her money to go on field trips or out with her friends, because she needs to work up the courage to interact with cashiers and waiters. DD8 loves to spend and isn't shy at all. She spends her own money. It all depends on the kid.

LOL - I love your stages of budgeting! Actually, I have observed the same reactions in DD. As she has gotten older and started wanting more, I really have to harden my heart and not jump in to save her "pain".

Another way to work on those interactions would be to hand over store/restaurant transactions whenever they crop up and you're with her. Even if they're not cash transactions, your child can do everything except sign the slip (she could also enter a PIN if you're doing it that way, but I wouldn't advise it!). And in a restaurant, she should be ordering her own food.

Yes. She is very slow to become comfortable with this kind of interaction, but I've learned she will do it when in a group of her friends who are doing the same thing, so that's where we are pushing it right now. She's also still discovering that she has desires that can be satisfied by spending money - I have to point out that if she wants a hat, and has money, she could solve this. I was the same way - I first bought something for myself in late high school, and didn't do it routinely until the end of college. I'm not sure why it's so slow for her, but it isn't for her sister, so I'm pretty sure it's just an individual difference. DD8 has been placing her own restaurant orders and fluently spending birthday money since she was 3 or 4.

Maybe it's a sort of sticker shock? Exposing her to it like that is a great idea -- a ten dollar movie ticket seems like a lot to her because it's all her spending money for the week.

Thanks for all the info re:checking accounts.

However, about merit scholarships: I would let them keep any money they won or money from, say, an essay contest, but I feel like if they specifically win the money FOR a camp it should be used for that camp or another educational expense. It depends on the parameters of the application. Giving them money for applying is totally fair game, though. :-)

We have a fluent spender, too! I will say that he is generous to a fault with whatever money he has -- including mine. He offered to pay my (small) library fine the other day. I gave him the money, he came back and I asked him where the change was -- he said, "Oh, I told them to keep it to help the library."

Given how much we use the library, it made sense, but that did spark a conversation!

I also have a generous fluent spender. She has a hard time saving up for anything at all unless we artifically impose that. At the same time, she is the first to donate to any cause, will buy things for her brother (and they don't get along that well), and even wants to buy things for us. I find it fascinating to see her natural money "style," since it is not mine.