Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Regions How do you discuss giftedness with your children?

I had an interesting exchange with my son this afternoon. He's been doing the summer reading program at our local library, and, while he's slammed through some books, some of the books he picks (world atlas) don't read as fast as some of the others (magic tree house), so he's not flying through it as fast as he thinks he should (not to mention he keeps getting distracted from the library books by the myriad other books he likes to read from his own library). He's working on about 6 books at once right now, so i keep telling him he's fine!

Anyway, in an effort to keep him motivated and marking off little boxes, i'm constantly looking for faster read books to complement the atlases he has. Today they had added a series of lists for suggestions: K, 1st-2nd grade, 3-4, 5-6. I pulled the 3-4 guide and he said to me - but i'm going into 1st grade?!

I tried to explain that the books in the K and 1 list wouldn't really be of interest to him but the ones in 3-4 might be more fun. By way of example, i showed him the K list (cat in the hat, chicka-chicka-boom-boom) and the 1-2 list (stellaluna, fredinand the bull), and we talked about how he's read those (and we still read them to his little brother), but that they are not challenging to him like the chapter books that we can find in the 3-4 or above lists. (thankfully, this time the list seemed to have good age appropriate books for a 6 year old (rather than tween type subject matter).

I've found myself in this spot before and i debate how far i should go into the explanation. I know he knows he's different somehow, but i also think, to some degree, he's a bit clueless. How have you guys dealt with this topic with your own kids??

BTW, for someone who'd never posted before, i seem to be getting a bit carried away... I can see how this can become addictive!

I started with the readiness level idea. In each area of life and learning, everyone always wants to expand their challenge and abilities. It's the trying that is fun. Just like all the flowers bloom in their own time, so does each readiness level. This had to start in Daycare for us, because some of the kid's 'Mouth-Speakers' were not in working order. Cute story, but I would rather go back in time, and take you with me, so I could speak up to the Day Care folks and ask them to transfer him to a room where the children's Mouth-Speakers were more similar to my son's. I had never heard of a Day Care that allowed children not to be grouped by age!

I also joked a lot about 'kid hands' 'grown up hands' and 'robot hands' ((Robot hands go added later in response to a Futurama episode, that's what you get when you practice to the point of automatisity)) I would insist that he try with his 'kid hands' and point out that many packages were built with 'GUH' in mind, which is why he had to try, but wasn't succeding.

I wouldn't bring up the 'gifted thing' until you absolutly have to. But you can start introducing the 'Bell Curve' now so he'll be ready - LOL!

BTW - do you have anything in place for 1st so that he will be able to continue to work at his readiness level in September when school starts? I hope the school doesn't have the same attitude as your son! ((big grin))

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Grinity -

First let me thank you for finding me! I'm not entirely sure how i ended up posting this in "regions"... that was not my intent! (clearly, i'm new at this). But thanks for finding me and answering!

I like that readiness level idea. It would certainly help, also, with the things he's not as great at (like riding a bike...). I'll have to spend some time on that!

I'd also like to hear more about your "Mouth-Speakers"!? Please elaborate!!!

As for the question, we are incredibly fortunate to have found a gifted school in our area that has been truly a God-send to us. In fact, it's probably b/c reading has been so matter-of-fact for him at school and home, that he had no concept of the level at which he was reading! Thankfully, i have no worries there...

In his K-class they divided the class into affinity reading groups, so he and a couple of other classmates who are at the same higher reading level were pulled out and got to do higher level exercises, more reading-comp, etc., where the other two groups of readers would spend time more focused on their specific readiness levels!

I really appreciate the fact that they're flexible that way. Math works the same way, and when you've even hit the top there, they will advance you even more. One of his little classmates who is a math wiz, is even above the top-level affinity group in his class, so he was accelerated to the 1st grade class (within one of their higher-level groups) so he could continue being challenged!!

Anyway, thanks again for the thoughts and suggestions!
Best!
SFB

Hi SFB - After we had DS4 tested, he of course wanted to know what the dr said. We told DS that he thinks differently than some people, and that some people will need to hear/see something several times before they learn/remember it, whereas he might only need to hear/see something once to learn it. We compared this to his agemates who could do physical things at a higher level than he could.

Your school sounds lovely! I think flexibility is the key for these kids, but it is hard to find.

Finally, i would love to see your grade 3-4 reading list with books appropriate for younger kids.

I saw this post and was searching for it, couldn't find it. Convinced myself that it was retracted.

We had similar. They see the book lists or something else with a grade level and they comment. I think my kids just want to know that they are indeed in the right place. When dd gets frustrated, she says, "why did they even make this for first graders". Doesn't matter what level it's at.
When we are picking out books, I say, "you enjoyed x book. I looked it up and they say that's a 3rd grade level. So, you can try books from this list". If pushed, I blame it on the list makers. I say they want to be careful not to put books that are too hard on a list for someone who is just learning to read at K or 1, but since dc already read, it's OK to read from that list. I don't say those books are unchallenging or not interesting, or make any judgement. My dd who skipped K and is going into 2nd, still likes to read Henry and Mudge and Mr Putter and Tabby, and even baby board books in addition to her 4th grade level books. She finds them interesting. So, I guess I go more along the lines of "this is how they do it, and this is what I think would be good, but I could be wrong, let's try it". Rather than, "you are past that". I want my kids to feel free to follow their interests and not be bound by a list someone else created. I rightly or wrongly believe that it will help them become more confident and accepting of who they are. But, then I have a child who pushes herself and doesn't need me to convince her to try challenging things. Back when she had a confidence crisis and was afraid to try, I did force her to read things at her level to get her out of a depression, but I didn't stop her from reading "easier" books either.

Another way to approach is is via the OODA loop. GT kids run through their OODA loops a lot faster. OODA applies also to learning new material.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_Loop

St Pauli Girl, Austin, Master of none -

THANK YOU! this is exactly the kind of stuff I was hoping for. All very valid approaches, and all helpful for my mulling-over and incorporating into my bag-of-tricks for "in the moment" responses!

I do try to be careful in my explanations of those that are less challenging because he (as it seems are some of your kiddies) is also interested in the younger books (which he listens to intently when we read to little man - and often picks up just cuz...). They're not "challenging", but they still seem to hold some interest for him and I don't want to make anything seem out of bounds! (as you mentioned, master of none... it's important that he NOT be bound by someone else's list!!!)... but i admit I do try to encourage him towards the challenging at the library (and let him pick whatever he wants at home)...

But, perhaps i should be more sensitive to that too....


st pauli girl... I have to go find the list at some point, but the two we picked this week were James and the Giant Peach and Encyclopedia Brown. I had never heard of the latter, but my husband saw it and flipped! He said those were among his favorite books when he was a kid. That one has been a GREAT success, they're fun! (and husband called his dad as he thinks his old EB books are still hanging around the house somewhere... big man thought that would be REALLY cool!).

Again - thanks to ALL of you for your thoughts!
sfb

Thanks Austin, I never saw this, but I love it! Scary though.

SFB - wow - what a school!

Mouth Speakers are how to talk to a three year old about the idea that other 2 and 3 year olds have plenty of receptive language (and therefore are thinking some level of thoughts) but not much expressive language (so they can't tell you about what they are thinking.) At age 3, I asked DS12 what part of the body makes the words, and he said "the mouth speaker" so that's what I used to explain the readiness level difference to him.

BTW - DS12 reports that he can remember trying to say the words and never knowing exactly which sound would come out of himself. Working really hard to make a sound, and they hearing it come out all wrong. He says that speaking was a great effort at one time!

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Something to keep in mind about reading lower level books- I love reading, anything & everything, I read non-fiction, fiction, biographies, autobiographies, Atlas's, dictionaries, encyclopedias, magazines, etc. Many of the fiction books I'm reading right now I've rediscovered as I'm previewing them to be sure the content is suitable for GS9. They're on many jr. high/high school reading lists, so I don't think they're at my 'reading level', but quick reads can be very enjoyable if the subject is interesting.
I know GS9 would sometimes read 2-3 Magic Treehouse books a day this past year just to bump up his total AR points.
Reading books at different levels builds different areas in reading ability. GS9 has loved reading very low level books to his younger cousins. He's learned to read expressively and learned to give others pleasure by reading to them.
I really don't make a big deal about what level GS9 is reading, unless he gets lazy and only picks books at a level below his ability just to rack up AR points. He realized this past year that he had the highest reading level in his class when they assessed their reading levels for AR. It went to his head, briefly, but then he just accepted eveyone had different levels.

eta: I noticed when GS9 would take a break from harder books, and read easier books for a week or two, he'd take a big jump in reading ability when he went back to the harder books. It seemed he'd take a bigger jump than if he'd just stuck out reading a book that was stretching his ability at the time.

OHGrandma -

You know what, one of the things i love most about big man is the way he reads out loud - he has this awesome intonation when he reads, has from day 1. He reads telling a story... you know, you can hear the expression in his voice, the ups, the downs, all of it, it's just so fun to hear. And yes, he gets to enjoy that most when he reads books to his younger brother, or to any one who will listen for that matter. But it's true, there is much to be said for the intangibles they get from heading back to old loved books - whether they are "of today's age" or not.

Thanks for the reminder.... i'd forgotten how much i love that

I do have to add, b.c big man is such a sponge, it is virtually impossible to keep anything "readable" out of his hands - which is I guess why the library thing is important to me. At home, he reads EVERYTHING (catalogs included!) he can get his hands on. So, if there's a good chapter book i can direct him too every now and then, that's different from the latest Pottery Barn Kids catalog, highlights, zoobooks, board books, atlas, etc. I figure it's good for variety!

BTW, i think that's really interesting (the increase in ability after the easier books). hm. vewy intewesting...