Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Differences between public and private schools

See, discouraged by you and choosing to load himself up with those things while you counsel moderation are signs of the not-hothouser.

Quite a divergence of opinion about the elite colleges, but in a way you are both right.

My nephew recently graduated from Yale. His words were "It is hard to get an A, but much harder to get a C." If we extend that to the rest of the Ivies, then anyone admitted can get by with moderate effort, but excelling there takes real effort.

My experience is that MIT is in a different category, as just about everyone has to put in real effort.

I guess my point is that you can't really tell which highly scheduled child is which from the outside, unless you know the parents well. I still cringe when I admit my first grader has a private chess coach...to me, that sounds NUTS.

Regarding college, I attended a relatively prestigious "lefty" liberal arts school with a reputation for attracting kids who are outside the box. There was no grade-grubbing there and the kids were genuinely smart, weird, and motivated (with some burn-outs and drug users, admittedly). It was a very stark contrast from my uptight, grade-obsessed, very wealthy public high school. It is everything I want for my children, especially child #1, who is quirkier (child #2 is more a class president type), but who knows what will happen.

I wonder about that: A’s Have Been Harvard’s Most Common Grade for 20 Years.

Yale may not be as easy as Harvard, but it does have the book/article about the excellent sheep. Or was that Princeton?

Totally agree that MIT is is a class of its own wrt real rigor.

Regarding hothousing, other observable factors may include a parental focus on competition, with decreased emphasis on ethics, character, and well-being.

Good comment Indigo!

Dude, these are good points. I hadn't thought of. Thank you.

Adding a link to new thread created by madeinuk, I am a hot housing helicopter parent?

As an MIT alum, I will second that! I cross-registered and took a class at Harvard once--easiest class I ever took.