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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 185
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 185 |
It almost hurts to listen to your story because I remember how scared I was when my son was 16 months old. Talking and obsessed with the alphabet. One time when he was 16 months old, we were at the store and my husband saw someone he knew. She walked up and he said, "Mommy same shoes" and I looked down and I did have a pair of those shoes. I wanted to just be shocked and squeeze my husband to say, "Did you hear that?!" but I just continued with the conversation.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself: keep a journal, hang on tight, find atleast one human friend to talk to about this, frequent these forums, and let him go to the places he wants to go, whether it's Elmo or geography.
The parents on here have given me so much support.
People will always think you "made" him that way, forever. Our DS is now almost 4 and I am finally not allowing those judgements to bother me.
I know exactly what you mean by recalculating having more children. We chose and were fortunate to have our boys 25 months apart and I wouldn't change it for anything. Our almost 2 year old is obsessed with clocks and shapes and it makes me wonder. I have no idea if knowing shapes is normal at this age. I still don't have a feel for what typical milestones are.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,272 Likes: 12
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,272 Likes: 12 |
For both your sakes, you will have to look for others families among your and your husbands friends. As odd as it may feel to think "my kids get to play only with other kids whose parents have PhDs", it may be a necessary selection criterion - well, never having finished my own PhD, at least being able to (and have pleasure in doing so) interact with gifted adults (the real you, not the mask you are wearing for parental activities). If they genuinely like hanging with the two of you, they and their kids will not be fazed by yours. Agreed. Especially since wiggle room is given for exceptions: Unfortunately, some gifted kids are so turned off from formal education that they do not pursue higher degrees. Others may find engaging employment and defer the completion of degrees. While seeking intellectual peers is paramount, some may say it is important not to limit one's self in ways which may create an elitist " filter bubble" or indicate narcissism or send a message that our gifted kids are trophy children.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428 |
This age can be tricky if you have a very verbal child. DD was light years ahead of her peers with language from about ages 1-3, and it did feel isolating. The only comparable "I feel self-conscious about this gap" thing in our lives has been DS's very early reading. It will get easier for your child to blend in, probably around 2.5 or 3. Of course, that doesn't mean they've all leveled out. JUst, it will be easier. BTW, neither of us has a PhD. 
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,428 |
Starting at about your child's age, we gave up on playdates. DS is now 7, and we probably have had less than 20 play dates in his entire life. And they are never, ever part of a group. One-on-one only. And I still carefully supervise. When I was fretting about social skills, another wise parent of a PG kids told me, "If you put him in a situation where he is destined to fail - he'll learn social skills, but they won't be good ones. It's no more fair than putting a (neurotypical) toddler in a position where they have to read to be part of the fun. It's just not fair until he's emotionally, and developmentally ready." Just for another perspective--we did not have this issue with DS, who tests pretty high. DD was a late bloomer socially and playdates, etc were harder when she was young. But I would not assume a highly gifted child can't do playdates due to giftedness. Personality is much more of a factor, IMO.
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 42 |
Maybe third time is the charm?
These replies are so helpful! Thank you all very much for taking the time to reply.
(crossing fingers that this will post)
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