Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Extremely small class size

I find this encouraging: the school has a level of awareness, and Asperger's is not a deal-breaker. While your DD's level of awareness is also encouraging, it could be that the difference she notices is mostly being out-of-sync with peers due to giftedness.

When DD spoke about her play to your friend, did your friend affirm your DD's interest and reply to what your child was saying, providing a smooth segue to the new topic your friend introduced... or did the friend change the topic abruptly, seeming not to respond to your daughter's shared thoughts? Role-modeling the desired conversational style may be an important reinforcement for learning social skills.

Mountainmom I assume you saw the thread I started about DD now being the only girl in her class. The small class size (6 kids, 2 teachers, ranging 1st-6th grade) has been great for meeting her individual needs (she is very 2E) but with the small size each and every personality becomes a larger piece of the classroom dynamics. One kid transferring in or out can change everything. My DD is very, very social so these dynamics are hugely important to her. If your DD is more spectrum-y she may or may not notice as much.

How would the rest of her life balance with this change? My DD has a lot of outside interests and lots of friends so she can be in a small spec Ed school and still have a balanced life. If school is your DD's main social outlet or interest the small class would probably only work if there was someone there who she really clicked with.

My DD immediately clicked with a girl in the class when she visited and they went on to become very close friends. That girl had an explosive disorder, though, which was very difficult to deal with. When she transferred out in the middle of last year DD was crushed. When the only other girl left a few weeks ago and DD was alone in a classroom with 5 boys she got really overwhelmed. It is still the best place for her because of their ability to provide a ton of interventions for her LD's and willingness to provide enrichment 5 grade levels ahead. It's a trade off.

Our DS (7) is in a small school of a similar makeup. It allows for a child to be placed in whatever "level" they test into, but doesn't account for "rate" of learning. In other words, once placed into a higher grade, the child continues at the same pace of instruction as all the kids in that grade. As I'm sure you know, that isn't always the pace at which your child can move, so boredom and learning to underachieve are a threat.

I thought it would be helpful to add this youtube about that episode. Our son has some of the symptoms.

Arthur

The whole episode: Arthur-Asperger's

Dd8 completed her first shadow day and liked the school. The director said the math class was definitely too easy for her and so tomorrow they will put her with the 5th graders that are doing 6th grade math. Not sure how I feel about that level of acceleration but it will be interesting to see how dd feels about it tomorrow. She does some 5th/6th grade math at home but IMO she has gaps.

Dd8 had her second shadow day and still loved it. When I asked her which school she prefers she said she likes her current school because of her friends and she likes the private school because she actually learns stuff. She has come home with more knowledge than she has in a long time... i.e. learned about what gases make up the sun, wrote a haiku poem, there are working on some sort of product project where they have to create an item. Dd loves the small size of the school and the class.

Today she went into the 5th grade classroom and did 6th grade math and they worked on stuff she hadn't done before but she did well and handled it ok. The director said she's at about a 6th grade level for math (according to the assessment she gave dd, I think it was the WJ but I'm not sure if you can just give a math portion of it because dd said she only asked her math stuff).

So now we have to make a decision and it's a tough one. If we decide to pull her out of the GT program she can't go back anytime soon, applications are required the year prior for acceptance. So it's not like we will have a back up school to rely on if the small private school doesn't work. Everyone I've heard from says it's a great school and their academics are challenging.

Dd is currently in a program that supposedly is for gifted students whose needs can't be met with differentiation in a regular classroom. Yet they seem to limit students to only one year of acceleration don't allow them to go any further than that. I like how she is with other gifted kids (probably most of them are HG) and she can relate with them socially and emotionally but academically gets nothing from the program. She could be more challenged academically but possibly have no peers that think like she does. I'm really torn as to what is the best answer here.

No answers, but a few questions -
Have you asked your DD who at the new school seemed like they might become new friends?
Have you thought ahead and discussed how children often change as they grow up... at age 11 or so many outgrow friendships and seek new friends.
Have you discussed that being bored in school may take a toll on her current friendships?
Does your DD see her current friends outside of school... sport teams, dance class, scouting groups, church/synagogue/temple activities, etc... which would naturally afford the opportunity to stay in touch?

She said she played with both girls in the 3rd grade class (only 2 girls, and 3 boys in that class). At her current school she has a few friends, mostly boys... but it's taken her until now to form friendships with kids that she actually plays with. So this is a huge deal. Up until this year she was pretty unhappy socially and would just walk around at recess or talk to the recess monitor. I think in a small environment she would feel more comfortable to be herself, but it would also limit her choices. She does do well with older kids and they all have lunch and recess together (at the small private school) so she could have them as options for friends as well.

I do arrange a lot of playdates outside of school. She has one friend that comes over frequently on the weekends and another girl she is getting closer to. The boys in her class really don't ever have playdates with us but it could be arranged.

She also is on a swim team and has some friends there. One of the girls on the swim team actually goes to the small private school and would be in dd's class.

My biggest concern is how limited our options are if went with this school and it didn't work out.

In the meantime I emailed dd's current teacher to request a meeting to discuss dd's unhappiness with math and see what the options are to resolve it.

I hear you.

Three thoughts:
1. The small gifted school seems a great match, as they moved her up a math level in just one day; highly observant and responsive teachers.
2. The kids at the small gifted school sound welcoming and approachable, meanwhile at the current school it sounds as though she has had considerable experience in "being lonely in a crowd".
3. When speaking to the current school about math options, you may also wish to discuss any possible re-entrance strategy as this may give you the "Plan B" which affords you confidence to switch to the small gifted school. (Don't burn bridges.) Even though on the surface it seems that re-entry would not be part of the current school's usual process and procedure, you might still explore arranging for her to qualify this year for next year's program, just in case you need it for any reason. The U.S. Federal definition of giftedness (as read from the NAGC website), includes: "and who need services or activities not ordinarily provided by the school in order to fully develop those capabilities. Your child's identification for next year's program, should she choose to return to her current school, may be considered as a service not ordinarily provided by the school, in order to fully develop her gifted capabilities.