Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What is giftedness?

Yes, I've seen many parents in denial about their own childrens' giftedness. For some parents this may be due to being undiagnosed as asynchronous themselves as kids, therefore not seeing their child as differing from the norm, just a smart little apple that did not fall far from the tree. I've known others who held to the belief that their child's intelligence was not innate but due to hard work... while others covertly engaged in hard work in order to present their child's intelligence as innate. Some of this may be reflective of the parents' level of awareness, some may be cultural, some of it may be by design. Although some may see a number of these approaches as sub-optimal, kids have been largely successful under each type of parental guidance, depending upon the circumstances.

By analogy, here we exchange "recipes", understanding they may need to be altered for local preferences, baking time at high elevation, etc.

Agreed. At the age of three, most gifted children are not yet tested, and most parents would not seek the "credential" of a confirming IQ test score. For some parents the "secret handshake" for recognizing another parent of a giftie as a kindred spirit may change as the children age.

So you ladies have seen my son at the park, have you?

�What is giftedness?� indeed. I am going off on a tangent here, but I hope you�ll bear with me. Our 4-year-old was tested recently as a requirement for application to a school recommended by his preschool director. His FSIQ was 144 (WPPSI): His subtest scores were mostly 17 to 19, plus a 16, 14 and 13. So, fairly even. But not 145+.

Frankly, we were thinking he might not cross the 130 threshold required for application. We didn�t consider him gifted, because he didn't check all those boxes. He's bright, for sure! He started reading at 3, without hesitation and with inflection so must have been working on that in his head for a while. He has always had an ease with numbers, and makes little problems for himself throughout the day (first thing he does every morning is check his watch and figure out to the minute how much sleep he got). He gets concepts like prime numbers, factorials, Fibonacci sequence, etc., as they are explained.

But he doesn�t fit the profile of always asking why, why, why, and he�s not really a tinkerer or Lego fan. Jigsaw puzzles are capital-B Boring. He�s also an extrovert, rarely serious, and very athletic. Says he wants to either be an artist or a golfer when he grows up. He has a lot of different interests, but just seems to file away facts without going really deep into any one subject.

So despite whatever the snapshot of this test shows, the label �gifted� still seems ill-fitting. Or maybe I just don't like labels.

So, why does it matter? We have to make a decision in the next month about where he will go to school. We think socially, he�d be fine at any school where he can make friends and play games at recess. But academically, he�s going to be a square peg at least for those first few years. Will he and his teacher figure out how he can survive and thrive in a standard kindergarten setting? Or does he need to be in a special setting for gifted or advanced learners? Our fear is that he will quickly come to believe that school is boring and it sucks, or that it could actually be difficult for him socially once he is out of his sweet little preschool environment. (His preschool mates recognize that he�s advanced, but think it�s pretty cool, according to his teachers.)

Any parents of kids who fit this profile somewhat? If yes, what is/was your school situation? If there is a better place to post this, kindly send me there. Thank you! I can�t believe all the handwringing we�re doing over kindergarten. :P Just want to get it right the first time.

For us it is being the parent at the lighted playground at late hours of the night getting dirty looks for being a bad parent, but then what is the choice. If we do not wear her down she will not sleep. Or being the bad parent unable to child proof our home from the tool wielding 2 year old. We do supervise, because child proofing... well that doesn't work. Many times I fear myself the bad parent for the things I let her do, but... you don't know her.

To me giftedness means very high intelligence or ability in one or more areas. I also assume it to mean intellectual giftedness unless another area is specified (athletic, social, etc.).

It annoys me to hear giftedness defined as "out of the box" thinkers, or the similar concept of creativity. Some gifted kids fit that mold, while others don't.

The problem with "asynchronous" as a descriptor is that it is even more open to misattributions than "gifted". Any developmental trajectory that is out of the norm is asynchronous, the delays as much as the precocity. And it explains only part of the gifted experience.
I would not mind "highly intelligent" as a descriptor at all. The problem with that one is that is of course that Gardner came up with the multiple intelligences, without any empirical data, which again enables the tired old trope that everyone is intelligent in something, and that intelligence is only what intelligence tests measure (why "only"? one might ask).
The way I like to describe what the tests measure and what difference it makes to my child is "highly logical" - with the VCI results describing his capacity for finding and applying logic in the verbal field, and the PRI in the nonverbal field, and I explain that the one makes these kids so good at reading and learning foreign languages, and the other at maths and science, and the WM and PS indices describe how fast and efficient they are at doing this. I also describe how these kids have this intense need for logic in their personal interactions as well, and how illogical behaviour and rule breaking bothers them, even though their impulse control may not enable them to follow the rules as well as they themselves think everyone should, and how that sometimes bothers them as well. From there, it is in easy step to explain what intelligence tests do NOT measure, and why that means that these children may not appear like model students, or advanced, or "smart" in every domain in life, and it makes it easier for people to understand these limitations as well.
This is just me, and it works for me and the few RL life folks I have spoken to about this. It also describes only a part of the gifted experience of course, but IMO the on e that is most relevant to dealing with teachers and other parents. I realize that it's not going to sweep the field of gifted education any time soon.

About the OPs question:
I would not expect for parents in a gifted group to somehow prove their child's giftedness by providing test scores. People may have reasons not to test, or delay testing, and I have hung out on gifted forums and even joined a parent group before we had our oldest tested, because I was perfectly sure for myself about what I Was seeing.
However, "profoundly gifted" is specialist terminology - denoting a specific score on specific IQ tests, and I frankly do not feel comfortable using anything but "HG+" for my oldest with a 154 IQ, because I have no idea how the European version of the WISC that was used compares with the US version for which this terminology was developed.

Parents whose kids have scores in the average range but talk ant their kids as profoundly gifted because of those subjective checklists? That is just bizarre and probably says a lot more about those parents needs than about their kids'.

Some may say that in covering the delays and precocity, "asynchronous" encompasses the whole gifted experience.

While many parents gather on gifted forums to discuss intelligence, some may say that intelligence is only part of the gifted experience, to wit: "highly logical"... illogical behaviour and rule breaking bothers them, even though their impulse control may not enable them to follow the rules as well as they themselves think everyone should..."

Additionally, the term "highly intelligent", like the term "gifted", may inspire some to covet that designation/label.

I can't multiquote, but talk of a behavioural 'tell' for IQ is over generalising your personal experience. I don't deny that your child was into everything at two, or needs to be run hard in order to sleep, or asks lots of questions, or is upset by others not following the rules, but those are not universal or even necessarily common amongst high IQ kids. I know more than several dozen very high IQ kids (all tested, and many PG), and tons of very smart adults and they are as varied as any other group. Sure, the high IQ kids with ADHD do need to be run before they can concentrate, the anxious ones are nervous when people break rules, the talkative ones talk and the quiet ones sit back and observe. But that's part of their personality, not a necessary part of where they fall on the range of IQ. Some of the quietest rule followers can blow you away when you really dig, as can some of the most fidgety wrigglers.

As a parenting tactic, it might be useful to stop saying "my kid runs me ragged because she's bright" and start saying "my kid runs me ragged and she's bright". Two different things.


Your commonality with that parent is the activity level of the child. You're not knocking on the door of the parent whose kid is curled up with a book to share a knowing look.

If you play with the edit features a bit, you'll be able to multiquote, I believe there is a limit of 3 or 4 nested levels of quotes.

The example given by that parent matches items found on several lists of common traits of gifted, (NAGC, Austega, Hoagies, DITD) although it was expressed in that parent's unique style. When parents seek/find kindred spirits, it may often be a bond over some particular subset of gifted traits and the experiences which those traits may engender, it may be a bond based on level of gifted (LOG), it may be based on personality.

Absolutely. The posts shared by parents were not all-encompassing but helped shine a light on a few aspects of gifted near and dear to them, with which they may be most familiar.

While having a high IQ neither necessitates nor precludes the other behaviors, research continues to explore which traits/behaviors/characteristics tend to correlate with high IQ.

Two different things and each may be true.

Two parents bonding as kindred spirits over the commonality of their experiences in parenting their gifted children is a good thing. Other parents with their own unique experiences will hopefully find and bond with others who share a commonality. No parent can be expected to be all things to all people.