Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums If one is gifted, will the younger sibling follow?

Note... as i got to the end of this i realized this became more like a confessional than a question... to whomever reads through the whole thing... Thank you! And any thoughts will be MOST welcome...

I'm not sure why this has become such a pressing issue for me, but it seems to come up (in my head) way too often... I'll start by saying hello - since I'm new. I'll also say that it is both nice to "see" other people who have children who are "different" (and proud of it!) and humbling to see that even my smarty-pants 6-yo is no where near the level of giftedness that some of you describe!

That said - my older boy has been tested (req. for school, but it started as a way for me to show myself that i wasn't crazy and that i wasn't just thinking he was smart b.c he was my boy...). What he is (MG, HG, PG...all those) is beyond me. He was 144 on the... oh boy, the one for younger kids, the psychologist suggested we test him again after 6 on the next test b/c he hit so many of the subtests at the highest level. Anyway, he wasn't ridiculously ahead on things- or at least not that i remember, but he was my first and we don't know lots of folks with kids, so hard to tell. He was (and IS!) highly verbal, and we officially realized he was reading (and not just memorizing stuff) when he was just shy of 4. He has a ridiculous memory, and is a geography and space nut.

But enough about him, that's just to put my question in context. (sorry for the length, but there is a lot in my head...)... Ok. So then there's my little man. He's 3.5 years younger than big man, and at 2yrs 8 months this month, he's a definite 2 and a half year old (testing testing testing!). And... while there are moments when i tell myself - holy COW! he's JUST like his older brother! - there are other times when i'm just not so sure.

I will say that if he's NOT gifted like big man, that's ABSOLUTELY OK. But the fact that it seems to consume me some days... i think it's the not knowing. And the fact that we found a FABULOUS school for big man, and the thought that little man won't be able to be in a school that challenges him or cares for him the way that big man's does.... I think that's what scares me the most.

Little man is NOT like some of the kids you guys describe. At 32 months he knows his colors, and he will tell you ALL SORTS of wonderful stories in tons of detail (he's as verbal as big brother, but has a better imagination and an even higher love of music, so many of his stories are also invented songs). He's hysterical (great sense of humor) and his memory sometimes is freakish, like brother. But, he doesn't read. (but i don't think big man could either at this age..) He knows some of his letters, but not all. He can count to 20-ish, but generally without 7 and 17 (big brother also skipped the 7s, not sure why...). He's not doing math exercises or anything like that. And while he likes puzzles ok (he was obsessed with a Shrek 100 piece puzzle around 2 yrs old, but now he could care less - he'll focus on 24 pieces for a bit and then he's off), he doesn't love them like big man. He loves (verging on obsession) snowmen. And the moon. And his cars. And that seems EXACTLY like what 32 month old should love. Nothing out of the ordinary. Which is fine. Except...

I wonder. He adores big brother and wants NOTHING MORE than to go to school with him. it breaks my heart to think he might not be able to. But then again, he might... I guess - to the point of my question - what are the chances of him being similar in intelligence to big brother? What are the chances that he won't? I don't anticipate under any scenario that they'll be the same... nor do i want that - i enjoy and appreciate their differences too much! But i do wonder...

If you took the time to read my utter and complete confusion and rambling, thank you! I appreciate any thoughts, advice, etc.

Welcome sfb! I tend to think GT-ness in very young kids can be hard to tell. My 7 year old certainly did not present as wildly gifted until at least 5, at least in my eyes. He was intense, but his interests weren't necessarily very academic. He wouldn't play alphabet games with me (although hindsight, I'm sure he knew a lot more than he would let on. I never pushed this kind of thing.), but he would happily spend an hour figuring out the plumbing system in our house. Or we'd need to stop and analyze complex gutters on buildings. He could play games for older children.

I think in young kids, it can be more about intensity than about actual academic knowledge and achievement. My 4 year old daughter's interests happen to be much more classically academic - reading, alphabet, absolutely begging to practice piano after her brother. Her preschool teacher absolutely love her and talk about how precocious she is. I didn't get ANY comments like that from her brother's preschool teachers (although I certainly get them now). But after watching her brother develop, I just doubt she's MORE gifted. Just a different personality. And neither of my kids is likely as wildly gifted as many children on this board either.

Anyway - there is probably no way to know how GT your child is until they are ready to be fully tested, but watch and wait! I think the going in streaks on interests is very normal. And if your 6 year old is hitting ceilings on subtests, he is likely quite gifted!

Hi there, sfb!

Here's a link to an article I found on Hoagies about research from the Gifted Development Center and Linda Silverman. There are comments about siblings IQ scores being within 5-13 points of each other and how 2nd children typically present as differently gifted from their older siblings.

http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/What_is_Gifted/learned.htm

Just relax and enjoy the uniqueness of each child. I have four kids of my own who are all gifted but at different levels and with very different personalities. They each present as unique and yet similar. My youngest is just turning 4 next month. Although she does not do all the things her older brother did at that age she is more advanced in other areas than he was. I'm sure she, too, will turn out to have giftedness evident as she enters school and gets older. On one of the boards I frequent a parent/educator has a saying any time someone asks "...should I test the other children?...." She always says: "test one, test them all!!!"

I think the most interesting point in the article I linked to is that second children are often not recognized as gifted because they DO present differently. So don't discount those unique gifts and differences!

What about when one child has a sensory processing disorder and motor dyspraxia and the other does not? I also read that "giftedness masks disabilities and disabilities depress IQ scores."

Is it fair to compare siblings when one is twice exceptional and the other is not?

My son has not had his IQ tested, but his adult half-brother tested highly gifted years ago and my husband says they are similar in some ways.

I just read another of Linda Silverman's articles www.gifteddevelopment.com/What_is_Gifted/2Echildren.htm and it said "Visual-motor weaknesses are common in gifted boys. They may appear as clumsiness, lack of coordination, poor balance, delayed choice of handedness, poor pencil grip, slow handwriting speed, inability to cross the midline of the body without switching hands, difficulty cutting or drawing simple figures, and avoidance of motor tasks." This sounds so much like my son. It also said "A program of exercises before the child is seven is likely to prevent problems with handwriting and underachievement down the road." I wish I had known there was something we could do about these issues when my son was younger.

We experienced this. I wondered if my youngest dd was gifted because she did not demonstrate any of the gifted characteristics that her older sister did in the preschool years. At the age of four we discovered that she had serious vision and hearing problems though everyone assured me that she was a normally developing child. Though I haven't had her tested yet, I am fairly the confident that she will test in the gifted range.

I have the exact same issues, including the worry that DS4 (2nd child behind HG+ DS7) might have a learning disability that we don't recognize. But it's just as likely that he's differently GT than DS7 or not GT at all. I just can't tell yet. He's also highly imaginative and verbal, whereas his big bro is very analytical and pattern-oriented.

We're in wait-and-see mode. I definitely plan to have him tested, and I watch for LDs and signs of something being wrong. But so far, I can't tell.

I guess that's my way of saying "I know how you feel!" And to answer your question, there's a good chance that your DS2 is GT in some form, though there's no guarantee.

Anyway, you found a good place to hang out whie you wait until you can do the testing. Welcome!

To all of you - THANK YOU! It is so great to hear of others in the same boat, and the validation that jsut b/c little man isn't behaving similarly to big man doesn't necessarily mean... well, anything! I think i will continue to fret (it's in my nature?) but maybe only a little.

It is VERY comforting to hear from those of you who have older kids and have been through it - and from those of you who are going through the exact same... waiting... ! And, thanks for the articles too!

I guess that since neither my husband or I have had any issues with learning disabilities, that has never crossed my mind. (though i should know better than to assume, little man has also been riddled with all sorts of food allergies, eczema, etc. which none of us, including big man, have had to deal with - or certainly not at a young age...). I should keep my eyes open, just in case....

I think i get the main msg. from everyone though... "CHILL! And ENJOY the ride!". Yes, the kids are a trip. And they grow so fast! Thanks for the SO warm welcome. I will plan on waiting and watching, and yes, probably do some testing down the road. And as Kriston says... I've found a GREAT place to hang out while i wait!

Again, to all of you, THANK YOU. I can't say that enough.

Kriston -

Just found a thread by you called "Dealing with siblings"... Boy... you DO know how I feel! ;-) Insane. Good luck with your kiddies...!

All those questions about education - and the goal of ultimately doing the best for each child as an individual, it's all rolled-up in the nervous waiting period, isn't it?


*sigh*

Oh, it sure is! Thanks for your kind wishes, and the same to you!

The worry about LDs comes in waves for me. I'll be fine for weeks, not thinking about it at all, and then something happens or we pass some milestone--his 4th birthday was a biggie for me, since he wasn't reading yet, and his big brother read by 3.5yo--and I get panicky again.

Mostly I just don't want to be missing some prime chance to help him if he has an LD. Younger is definitely better for that sort of thing, so I'd rather not miss opportunities. But then again, I can't very well march into the doctor and say, "My 4yo isn't reading yet. What's wrong with him?" They'd laugh the crazy mother out of the office, you know?!

I have been planning to wait until he's in K to get him tested, since that way I can have the school pay for it. But I'm not sure I'll be able to wait that long, frankly...

Anyway, it's good to have virtual friends who know what you're going through.