Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums If one is gifted, will the younger sibling follow?

I think with the 1st born we don't really know what's normal and it takes time to realize that they are gifted. With the next child we think we already know how gifted kids behave, what to expect, what milestones to look for. The truth is that we mostly compare to the older ones and get nervous when they are not like them. If they are ahead in something it's great but if there is something they are not as good as them we think that they are behind. Or at least I do.

I remember a while ago (about 1.5 years ago) I read on a gt board a description of a gt child. The mother was asking if others thought he was gifted. I thought of course he was, no doubt about that. Then it hit me that my younger one (similar age to child in question) could do all that plus some. Except that I didn't consider him gt because he wasn't obsessed with letters at the age of 15 months and didn't memorize hundreds of sight words at the age of 2. I was in for a big surprise when he started reading earlier than his older brother did.

Right now I am quite sure that DS4 is HG, but I still think he is not as smart as DS5. DS5 is exceptional in math and DS4 comes nowhere close to him at this age. Who cares that he is better verbally and did quite a few things earlier than DS5? He doesn't do as well in math and honestly doesn't seem as precious as DS5 was at his age.

I spend an insane amount of time obsessing on the kids level of GT, one minute I'm convinced they're absolutely GT, the next minute I'm not even sure they're fully human, lol. I would guess that it's pretty normal when the kids are small, before they've fully shown themselves to worry about how they're going to turn out. I think with kids who are advanced, like so many other things with gifted kids, that worry is taken to a whole new level.

I have the opposite situation, though. I knew my DS6 was smart, but I never considered him gifted because he's *exactly* like I am and it was easier to explain away the things he did because they seemed normal to me. I didn't really sit up and take notice until he taught himself to read at almost 5 (and really I think before then since he'd been writing since just after he turned 4). I didn't *really* believe until he sped through our 1st grade math curriculum in 2 months right after we pulled him from Kindergarten. That's hard to ignore, lol.

But, my DS4 I've been thinking he's gifted for about a year. He's so *different* from me. He's so logical and willful, but not in an obstinate, emotional way, but he knows what he thinks and believes and he doesn't care if you like it. He sees patterns and is very analytical. Even though he didn't say a word until almost 2, when he started talking it was the same level as DS6 who had been talking since 6 month old. He's definitely "still water runs deep". I suspect he's like my DH was as a kid.

Then DD22mo is so different from any of us. She is much more interested in letters and numbers than the boys were. She speaks as well as the boys did at her age, but somehow her topics are more complex. Yesterday she was standing at the storm door watching DH mow the lawn, she wanted to go out with him, but I told her no, she thought for a minute and said "Open door Mommy, Ho-Ho (Santa Clause) coming!". The boys would have just thrown themselves down, lol.

They're all completely different from each other, they're all advanced (if not gifted) in their own ways. It's so much fun watching them interact, each one brings something completely different to the table, each one has something to offer when they play and it's so interesting to see how they really compliment each other.

In my family, most of us siblings and cousins are around the same level of giftedness as at least one other cousin or sibling (all GT to Profound GT). Some research on siblings shows that two siblings usually are similar in intelligence, as intelligence is a highly genetic trait. If one child is comfortably above the cut-off, the other is likely GT, as well. As for the school, it's probably too early to tell if it would be as good of a fit for the younger one as it is for the older one.

Just my 2 cents: DS7 (was tested at almost 5) and DD5 (who was tested at 3.5y) took different tests (WPPSI v.SB5) with 2 different psychologists and they scored 1 pt difference. I was shocked at DD since she is decidedly different than DS7. Her interests do not seem as "academic" as his and therefore, not as "intelligent." For example, he loves to learn about space, oceans, trains, etc. and reading. She loves princesses (much to my chagrin although I am glad she is not still in the Thomas the Tank Engine phase that she accompanied DS7 on), clothes, and reading. She has an excellent memory and is very conscientious. DS is more of an absent minded professor type. She is nurturing and at times, seems like the big sister rather than the little sister, etc... Genes, birth order, gender - all are influential factors.

Wow - that sounds a lot like my DS7 and my DD4 (who is a princess ballerina as I type this and has had about 4 different outfits on today ).

You might be encouraged to hear my story of mom wondering if I was LD when I was a toddler but later getting a HG+ score on an IQ test I took in college.

While a teenager, my mom 'fessed up to me that when I was younger she thought I was a LOT less smart than my two-year older brother, who was super-inquisitive and taught himself to read at 4 (like she did). I was a placid, daydreamy child who was apparently always doing things that made her wonder if I was LD.

I didn't learn to read until first grade. By 4th grade, I was reading everything I could get my hands on, including the encyclopedias and Shakespeare's plays. Even then, though, my brother seemed so frustrated that I couldn't do all the math he could do --- and I think he thought I was not as smart either. He always got better grades. Almost always straight As, when I got As, Bs, and even a C and a D in h.s.

By the time she told me this, my brother and I had both been in a gifted program for a few years, with me scoring 5 points higher on the IQ test to get in. (Keep in mind, we took it the same year and he was two years older, so I'm guessing he hit the ceiling.)

I later took an IQ test in college from a grad student because it got me extra credit in psych 100 and tested a score so much higher than the earlier one that I didn't take it seriously -- until I started reading up on GT issues because of DS9 and learned about different tests having test ceilings, the SB L-M having higher ones and favoring verbal skills. Also, I'm still wondering if the grad student made some sort of computing mistake on my score!

Now, even though I've figured out I'm not -really- smarter than my brother, who must have hit the ceiling of the test because of his age, and who is truly more roundly gifted, excellent at both math and language, I have still NEVER told him. LOL.

Almost everybody my brother knows eventually comments on how smart he is, and he shrugs it off by saying that he has a sister who is even smarter. How can I give that up?

I guess I -should- tell him at some point.

My mom told me my IQ score as a teen when I said I was not as smart as my brother. My brother overheard my score, and then demanded to know his.

bk

feeling weird about talking about my IQ score, even here!

I have the same questions about my kids. We are thinking we may need to spend serious $ to get DS9 into a school that would let him learn faster, but what if DS3 is NOT gifted and the local public school is really great for him? Will he feel ripped off at some point? Will people think we don't care as much about him? What will we do if he doesn't test well enough to get into a functioning, safe middle school or high school here in our big city?

I did get some answers about LD in my younger one. My DS3 got evaluated through the federal early intervention program and was found to have speech and physical delays, most likely from sensory processing disorder. He's a sensory-seeker, so he has some alarming sensory-seeking habits such as liking to fall and land on his head, turn in circles, flick light switches etc. We have been told he has a great interpersonal skills and is not on the autism spectrum, and that he may or may not grow out of this behavior and may or may not be smart and is currently testing low average on cognitive functioning tests used for toddlers, which as far as I could tell had him doing things like imitating cube patterns and putting things over, under, next to, etc. He is currently going to a special education preschool, where his speech has grown by leaps and bounds.

On the other hand, he's also memorized entire scenes from movies, counts to 20, knows his alphabet and most of his sounds, understands that numbers correspond to particular amounts, tells jokes, and we can't pull one over on him about anything. These skills are definitely much later coming than they were for his brother, but seem more advanced than some and less advanced than other kids in the neighborhood.

And his HUGE personality! He's definitely gifted there!

I'm rambling... Just wanted to say I share your concerns and you can get free testing and perhaps help if needed for LD or other issues affecting growth and development through Early Intervention. It's a federal program available in every state.

bk

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From one little sister to another, I say: Don't you dare!

Thanks to all of you! it always help to hear different perspectives, experiences, and paths of progress (as well as similar fears/confusion!!!). Patience is not my virtue on some things... and on this one, i think I'm so in love with big man's school that i can only hope for such an education for little man (with the knowledge, as well, that we have to be SURE it's the right school for him b.c the $$ is a bit prohibitive and would require sacrifices...).

LilMick - your note about knowing whether it's as good a school for little man as it is for big man is one to which i've also given thought... while he wants to go there REALLY bad, it may not ultimately be the right school for him (regardless of whether he's GT or not)...

So, i keep watching and waiting. I'm not 100% happy with where he is right now, so that doesn't help... But nothing tangible, so i just need to get over it.

it really IS great to hear about different development paths to GT. I'm an only child so no comparisons with me... and my husband and his sister are very similar in development paths. (we're all some level of GT, though i have no idea what...).

In the meantime, i'm trying to enjoy the heck out of both of them every day.

Had a sad, sad event this week - the father of one of big man's classmates, who also happened to be a teacher at his school (and was going to be his 1st grade teacher - a much anticipated event) passed away after a very tragic and sudden accident. Young, vibrant, and amazing, it's a horrible loss for everyone - his family, the school, everyone who knew him. And through the loss, it reminds me to make the most of every second with my family and my boys. Whatever they may end up being, and though we will do our best to provide the best learning environment so they can grow to their fullest, above and beyond ANYTHING else, it's the time we spend together playing, laughing, learning, exploring, and loving eachother that is the MOST important thing for us right now.

This was a sobering reminder of this. i can stress all i want, but so long as i'm focused on each of them in the NOW.

hug your children, love your families.
and thank you for the support you provide to so many of us who are floundering!

How sad sfb. Hugs.

I've come upon this thread late (story of my life). Teachers told me not to worry--most likely the kids would all be gifted. Because of their differences, I couldn't help but worry. 2nd son didn't talk till about 3.5 after lots of speech therapy. He ended up scoring 13 pts higher than 1st son.