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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,076 Likes: 6
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,076 Likes: 6 |
Maybe, maybe not. Come back in about 3 years. Honestly all kids are different (especially gifted ones) and they don't all progress according to the books. If crawling is skipped though you need to be really creative in finding ways to crawl now as the cross patterning is important for the brain - also other cross patterning stuff. Just try and enjoy you child and talk to them a lot. Yes to the wait-and-see. Just have to mention, though, that the available research does not currently support crawling as a necessary step in brain development. Crossing midline and visual-motor integration, of course, are both quite important, but early walkers-who-skip-crawling generally find lots of other ways to cross midline without special treatment. I have plenty of training and clinical experience in child development (so I do have some idea of what is "normal"--and it's a pretty broad range), and I, too, had to resist the urge to continuously mentally-assess my children. If you want, keep a monthly (don't overdo it!) journal of interesting milestones or anecdotes about him, in the event that it might be useful retrospectively, but put most of your energy into enjoying the innumerable moments of discovery and accomplishment that he is experiencing every day. You're clearly spending lots of focused time with him; he will show you what he needs for stimulation. AEH, do you have the stats on child development regarding visual motor integration and crawling? I never subscribed to the theory that if you miss a step, you can go back and get it and make all right. I figured if you miss crawling, there's a reason and that reason might be related to why dysgraphia, dyslexia, visual processing issues, etc occur. I just don't believe that lack of crossing midline CAUSES problems, but is instead a symptom so teaching crossing midline won't PREVENT future problems. But, are you saying that the stats I learned 20 years ago about the relationship between skipping crawling and future visual motor integration deficiencies is no longer valid? Have there been more recent studies that I missed? AAP pub on LDs. Check the references. (I'm on my mobile device, so the URL May be slightly different.) http://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/102/5/1217.full
...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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Joined: Dec 2012
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Joined: Jul 2014
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I'm basically saying it's too early to tell. Even testing at age 4 or 5 is quite unreliable, although it is said that parents' assessments are more reliable. Nevertheless, you can try to create an environment where a child can reach their potential, even if you're not sure what their potential is. (School's should try this idea too.) I totally got that--just thought I'd respond after Thomas Percy brought up his point, too. On your comment about schools creating environments where students can realize their full potential: my husband's area of research is in economics of education, so he might actually have some insight to things like this... (His other area of interest is health econ, which is tangentially related.)
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 157
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I think you already know the answer and I mean that in a positive way. You know when something feels unusual. You have a pretty big list and you may not even have the time to write it all down. You are in the stage of, Oh my gosh, am I really up for this? Can I handle this?
The most important thing is to stay on top of it. Stay rested. Don't expect anyone to understand what you are going through.
I mean it. Rest up now. By 24 months you might be feeling exhausted and behind the curve. Keeping up with a gifted child from age two years until they mature into school age is a marathon. Be in your best possible state of mind and body.
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 157
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Also wanted to mention for pre-verbal, it shows in their art work / crayon drawings.
I want you to be prepared. You might understand your family history and yourself, but it can shake you when you see it in your child.
I recommend mourning the loss of the ability to have a 'normal' child. That might sound strange, but I think it is necessary. Also, I have noticed that gifted people tend to give a 'heads up' to their partner before having a child together.
You will have wonderful moments of joy, but it is very different from having a 'normal' child.
The artwork never looked the way 'it is supposed to.'
The child has very strong preferences and you can tell even at pre-verbal stages.
All of the marketing and commercials, for the most part, show 'average' babies. They don't show the 24 month year old who is debating their parents.
I had to let go of any idyllic version and just deal with the reality of it and accept it and the fact that no one notices that your child skips over the 'normally' beloved books.
Honestly, they make you feel 'weird' if you don't follow all of the baby-ways. So, it is okay that these infants come into the world at a different stage or however the experts want to explain or discuss it.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897
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WeSupport: as for the 'heads-up', I totally agree that is very helpful in understanding what you might be in for ... Only after our ds came along, did I find out from my dh that his nickname was 'destroyer' when he was a kid. My brother also had the same nick name~ so our gene pools were unlikely to produce the 'sit and play quiet' type kid. Sigh, bumpy but fun ride. 
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 21
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I think you already know the answer and I mean that in a positive way. You know when something feels unusual. You have a pretty big list and you may not even have the time to write it all down. You are in the stage of, Oh my gosh, am I really up for this? Can I handle this? I feel like I'm more in the lives-in-a-bubble/am-I-just-crazy stage. Hahahaha. It might be more clear to me if I saw other babies his age on a regular basis, but it's usually just me, DS, and DH hanging out on our own little island. I'm also feeling like I might look like an idiot if I ask his pediatrician about it at his next appointment.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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Joined: Feb 2011
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Magenta, you've accurately described my daughter's early childhood to a tee-- and couple that with the fact that the other children that we DID know were either related to us by blood, or the offspring of dual-PhD couples, and well... you get the picture. What we thought of as "average" was probably more like "very-bright-to-gifted" to begin with. So we thought of DD as "bright" but didn't spend a lot of time/angst on this otherwise. The reason that I mention this fact is that it has made NO difference to DD's trajectory that I can see. I have some regrets, but they definitely don't relate to not having her in academic enrichment at a young age. Things that I do regret have related to not being willing to follow where she clearly wanted (and probably needed) to go and when.* teaching her to read when she was VERY clearly ready, willing, and able-- at 18-24 mo. We actively discouraged her instead, upon the advice of a relative who was an elementary school teacher. Now, her advice might have been appropriate for a "bright" youngster, but it was NOT good advice for a PG child. * forcing her to slow her rate of learning to match her weakest skill set (writing); this informed a perfectionistic outlook on every OTHER area, and it also caused her to think of herself as "not good at" writing-- because it was a RELATIVE weakness. * slowing down her academic progression. Things that I do wish that we'd done differently: * been firmer with the school re: what constituted "appropriate" work for her, * investigated early college options more thoroughly, probably including a major move in that mix, * not forced agemate interactions that just didn't fit in the name of "socializing" our child, and finally-- * noted her perfectionism for what it REALLY is-- and aggressively intervened/remediated very early-- as young as YOUR child is now, in fact.My daughter is a great kid, and she seems (so far) to have turned out just very well in spite of those things that we didn't know were important. So here's the advice portion of our program today... I'd say that awareness of the possibility is probably all that is needed at this age. Just be open and enjoy your child for who he is, not what he SHOULD (or COULD) be.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 816
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Posts: 816 |
Magenta - you've received some great advice. I think you are on the right track and YOUR intuition about your DS is probably right on. Enjoy him - be amazed - that is part of what makes his current age so special. As for crawling - I have 2 DC, one tested (and then some, thanks to our test-happy schools ), one with only some achievement testing (was very high). I've treated them both as "bright children" from early on (before a single test was performed), because that is what I observed. DD9, a DYS, never crawled. She rolled (seriously ) very, very early, though, and VERY EFFECTIVELY (getting into EVERYTHING she wanted to) and seemed to conclude that this was a great way to get around (no older siblings to model, and I think this matters). She briefly "hitch crawled" (not a true crawl), before walking at 12 months - NOT early by most standards. DS6 on the other hand, clearly wanted to FOLLOW older DD from very early on. He was an EXCELLENT crawler, and was walking by 9 months (walking VERY well by 10 months). They both seem very, very bright - although like many siblings, their strengths are in different areas. I've concluded the crawling milestone was rather unimportant for them. The one take away I have - parental intuition is huge. Time will tell, but you are probably not imagining amazing things. Write at least some of them down. Enjoy the wonder of this time with him, because it will go quickly! 
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1
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Joined: Nov 2012
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Howler (and others), would you be willing to elaborate on tackling early perfectionism? * noted her perfectionism for what it REALLY is-- and aggressively intervened/remediated very early-- as young as YOUR child is now, in fact. I've started a new thread here: http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/196267.html#Post196267
What is to give light must endure burning.
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