FWIW, not every kid likes rough play. My DYS twins have never rough-housed or wrestled and wouldn't dream of doing it, even though they're "all boy." One of them does like being aggressive playing defense in lacrosse, but the other is small and whenever I ask about a contact sport, he says, "why would I play a sport where I might be injured?" Can't argue with that.
Like a previous poster mentioned, I wonder if your son is in the wrong academic environment? Does he need more school challenge-- with kids who are more mature?
Glad you have a trusted professional to help you sort through it.