Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Interesting story out of Texas...

This article provides more information.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/new...for-not-shaking-superintendents_95850757

Quite frankly - if the child did not want to shake the hand of the people handing the certificates, why did he participate? Shaking hands is not assault - and as a mother, I would 1) never instruct my child (as it appears from the second article, she did) to be disrespectful at a public ceremony over a personal issue and 2) be very disappointed if my child perform what I consider a selfish act of "making a point" especially since this child was a valedictorian and presumed leader of his peers at a graduation ceremony, and shaking hands as the certificates are handed out is a part of the ceremony. It was not like he did not know (or the mother did not know) that shaking hands was a part of the process. And this is where I can see the influences of my parents, who did not grow up in the US but in cultures that values showing respect in situations like this such that I can not fathom this mother's behavior.

Actually, there are usually consequences for actions like this even for adults. If I deny to shake hands with the president of the company as he hands out team award to my team, I doubt I will have a job at that company long after that, especially if it happens at a company-wide event. So - yes, child denied contact - but he and his parents should expect there would be consequences. It is like that in the corporate world. And I am sure it is like that in other environments. And I understand that is what the judge who ruled against the family is stating.

There are better and more subtle pranks too. Like having each kid give a marble to the principal or something as they shake hands (though this only works if the principal has a sense of humor).

I would be curious to know why the student and his sister felt "harassed". There is more to this story, I think.

One possibility is that they were in fact being harassed. If so then the student was exercising his own free speech and not merely acting as a pawn. (It is impossible for the judge to legitimately conclude the student was merely acting as a pawn. How could he possibly know that?)

You certainly don't owe respect to authority figures who harass you. Some comments to the articles suggest the superintendent had a grudge against the mother and had been taking it out on the kids. What's clear is that there's a lot of nasty small town politics in this, and we can't know the whole truth, and probably shouldn't bother trying. And in all sized towns, there are a lot of idiots and jerks running schools, which is the real lesson in all of this.

There is one important difference though. In the corporate world, you work for the President. When it comes to schools, they work for you.

Completely ridiculous IMO. If the school was trying to make a point, I believe they make themselves look petty. This is something you just let go, but instead they are in the news over a handshake. Waste of everyone's time.

Uhhhhh---wow.

As the parent of a child who very well COULD have a decent reason to avoid physical contact with another person in such a setting* I find it horrifying that the district would do such a thing. Of course, my own child would probably never, ever, EVER make it a "point" to do it publicly and overtly, as seems to have been the case here. Her reasons aren't about personal hard feelings or indignation toward those in positions of authority. She knows how to avoid shaking hands without seeming disrespectful because this is a major life skill for her.



I have to conclude that this is all the result of a MASSIVE escalation of issues that may have only tangentially involved the student-- seems like parents and administrators are the ones with axes to grind. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that's sure what it smacks of to me. I'm pretty familiar with what escalation looks like and when it becomes about "winning" rather than your kid. As a 2e parent, you always have to keep those things in mind as you respond/engage with others.

* No, really-- it's possible that this is the exact kind of contact that nearly killed her at her own 8th grade graduation. We've never figured out exactly what happened there, but it's as plausible an explanation as I have.

I think it's fairly known and respected that in a graduation ceremony, the graduate shakes hands with one or more authority figures who are bestowing the honors. If they have a legitimate (2E-type) reason to not shake hands, then could have been arranged for privately ahead of time. Consequently, I don't believe there's any reason to refuse publicly to shake one person's hand, than to make a point.

That said, I don't really understand how the court could possibly uphold the obviously excessively extreme punishments heaped on him. Also, the kid is in 8th grade--so probably 14?--so I don't see why a minor of 14 should be punished for "communicating the position" of his adult parent rather than his own.

I think the not being able to take honours courses is unfair as I don't think a punishment for such a thing should have such long reaching consequence. Not being able to run for office or play football for two weeks seems fair but ten days suspension is a lot longer than any here.

The child was rude. He could have shaken the guys hand while giving him no doubt about his feeling without being openly rude. He shook hands with the principal so it wasn't 2e type issues.

He made a point, the school made their point. Maybe everyone learnt from the experience. And maybe not.