Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Maturity and school meeting

It seems everytime I speak to an educator about DD, one of the first things that comes out of everyone's mouth with out knowing my DD is something along the lines of "well...kids are so young in Kindergarten and so immature..." I think I will have a meeting in the next week with the gifted coordinator of DD's school and I want to be able to speak confidently about DD's maturity, but I have no idea how maturity is objectively assessed/measured. I think she is relatively mature for her age, but I could be totally off base. I don't have a lot of exposure to other children DD's age because we have moved a lot. Any help with tools that can help measure a child's emotional maturity would be greatly appreciated!

I am not aware of a formal test or measure, but I think the concept of "maturity" can be a bit subjective. For example, my first instinct would be to say my son is more "mature" for his age than my daughter was at the same age. DS is more serious, compliant, and self-controlled. Then again, DD, at the same age was MUCH more self-confident and expressive. She would walk up to ANYONE and strike up a conversation (DS might become mute, as he is shy). She is also NOT easily intimidated, and would walk into a new situation and enjoy the experience. So one could argue, that in some respects, SHE was more mature at the same age.

I suppose my image of an extremely mature kindergartener would be a child who is both self-confident like my DD was (and is), and more self-controlled like my DS.

Is it possible that in this context the teacher may be speaking of the fact that intelligence seems more stable when children are older? A clarifying question may help develop an understanding whether this, rather than emotional immaturity, is the teacher's objection. This may influence how a parent responds to overcome objections.

For kindergarten I think this may mean very basic executive skills. Can they sit still for a bit, concentrate on a task, take direction, wait in line, not hit or hurt other kids, manage themselves without undue assistance etc. More or less will they not be a time consuming problem for a teacher who may have 20+ little ones to watch over.

Well, FWIW my DD is "very well behaved" per the teacher. However she is a people pleaser and does not self advocate at this age. For example, she absolutely would not ask the teacher to help her find "harder" books to read, even though she really didn't want to read the books they were giving her for independent reading. She selected a book to take to class to read during quiet reading time but she would not take it out of her backpack. She was scared kids were going to laugh at her. Yet she still didn't want to read the easy books at her table. So, she asked if I could sent a note to the teacher asking if DD could read the book she brought. This did work. I am wondering if this is going to be an objection the school is going to bring up as a reason to for in class intervention (I still don't know exactly what constitutes intervention).

I feel with the achievement and IQ testing DD has completed there are objective reasons she needs some gifted programing. However I have never felt completely comfortable addressing the, what I have always found to be fairly subjective, maturity objection.

I think the questioning approach might work. When you hear that's, ask "what do you mean by immaturity at this age" or "what are your concerns re her maturity level and how would that affect your options for matching her academic needs?"

In fact, there are a number of kindergarten screening instruments that include measures of social-emotional-behavioral development, which may be considered indicators of maturity. The most prominent (and strongest, in my opinion) among which would be the DIAL-4. There is a quicky screening version of it, which takes about 5 minutes all told, and generates a single global score, interpreted as making or missing the cut score, and there is a more comprehensive version, where each of the mandated areas of potential developmental delay is assessed (about five minutes apiece). The social domain can be administered as a stand-alone measure. So if the school wants somewhat objective, quantitative data on "maturity", this would probably be about as good as it gets.

OTOH, I think what indigo and CD mentioned about inquiry would probably be more to the point, as "maturity" is so often a code word for "we're reluctant to do this, either because there is institutional bias against early entry, or because we're afraid we won't know what to do with her". When we entered our first early into 1st grade (skipped K), it took ongoing discussion and assessment from April until the end of August to attain consensus. And this was with a school with which I personally had a long history of warm and professional relationship. In our case, staff were genuinely concerned that this might be to the detriment of our child; we had to work through their fears and concerns, as much as demonstrate academic appropriateness.

Yes. This is also true in negotiating on-time entrance for 2Es and children with disabilities, who often present as "immature" even if they are thoroughly ready to take advantage of kindergarten-level academic learning.

IMO "immaturity" should rarely or never be a reason to hold a child out a year; instead, a plan should be made to teach the executive function skills that will help the child succeed.

aeh, thank you for telling me about DIAL-4. I do not have ANY idea how the school is going to proceed with my DD. By bringing in outside testing I have bypassed the typical screening process. I had a very brief conversation with the school psychologist when I gave her the outside test results and she was very vague when I asked her what the next steps will be. There is supposed to be some meeting at which I will be able to discuss DD. We are in a district where whole grade acceleration is possible, but I am still unclear what would be best for DD. Plus I have no idea what our schools attitude is towards acceleration. Whole grade acceleration won't be enough to provide an all around challenge, so the option is to keep her in K and try to bring in challenging material and let her have as much fun playing in K as possible.
I am trying to prepare for all outcomes and don't want to be blindsided by the "maturity" objection again. Now I feel I can offer a suggestion to objectively assess DD's emotional and social maturity. Thank you all so much for your thoughts!

I'm guessing the grade one teacher doesn't feel she should be obliged to provide the kind of support a K aged child would usually need.