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    Joined: Oct 2007
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    Well that is very reassuring because I definately think of you as someone who has it down pat. System working, running on autopilot it's going so smoothly. smile

    Realistically, your children are at the age where if you would have pushed too far there would have already been a massive meltdown........And I don't mean normal teenage hormone stuff....I mean true breakdown.

    So I always pay close attention when you're handing out advice. My kids are still young, I'll feel much better when they are happy healthy teenagers!

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    Cathy A Offline OP
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    It think it's hard to tell from the article exactly what the dynamic between mother and child was, but I was really concerned about the idea that a well-known psychologist could be conned like that. If a kid was getting this astronomical score, wouldn't you start to wonder about the testing conditions--mother "interpreting" his answers--and the possibility that he had seen the answers to the SB-LM?

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    Hindsight is 20/20...though with these kids, I'm not sure *that's* even true! The "what if's" can make you certifiable! I think you have to get a pass on that one, Dottie!

    My sniff test: Did I do the best I could under the circumstances I was given at the time? There's no point in worrying that you blew it when you find out new info that you didn't have back then. You can't react to what you don't know.

    Did you do the best you could with what you knew at the time?

    And, of course, the all-important 2-part question: were you acting in your child's best interests, and did you do a gut check from time to time to be sure it was about your kid and not about you?

    I think everyone commenting can say yes to both parts of that 2-parter!


    Kriston
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    If the test was faked, I see how it could happen in a couple of different ways.

    No matter how smart, well-adjusted, well meaning a person is...they are still human. People who take pride in their profession can get carried away, just like anyone else. It's the surfer chasing that perfect wave all around the world.
    For my profession it was the elusive big whale, everyone wanted to land that massive multi-million dollar account.
    I did see people get so caught up in the prospect of it they lost all reason. I admit to getting carried away a few times.
    Here's this brilliant person who specializes in gifted psychology and children. Now comes along a little kid who looks like that perfect wave. Most specialists will never see a kid who is that smart. Sometimes we ignore that little voice inside telling us to pay attention because we are so invested in wanting it to be so.
    Additionally, who would think someone would go to that extent to fulfil their own busted dreams through a child so young. It's maniacal! I would have never imagined that a person would do such a thing unless the idea of it was presented to me, as it was just recently. We still don't know if the mother did this, look I don't want to be unfair. For me,though, I could be looking at hard evidence that something like this happened, and I would still shake my head in disbelief. Simply because I don't want to think that it's possible.

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    we cross-posted Kriston....I love the sniff test, especially the part about checking yourself.
    That is very reasonable.

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    I googled this today and found:

    In a March 2002 interview, his mother admitted copying the SAT score report of a neighbor's son and attributing the perfect math and verbal scores to Justin, then 6. She also said she had checked out a copy of an old version of the IQ test from the library and studied it with her son before Silverman tested him.

    from: http://www.scrippsnews.com/node/33770

    So, maybe he really was smart, but she definitely did a lot more than any of us here ever did, as far as being the "pushy mom."

    By the way, I am a Super Lurker, so I apologize that I read every day and seldom post. I love to hear from all of you though.

    Just by way of intro: I have a DD9 who is in DYS and a DS7 who is also highly gifted.

    That's all I've got for now!

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    If I have a life-philosophy, it is this: regret is a wasted emotion.

    Do the best you can, make the best choices you can make, apologize when you (inevitably) blow it, fix what you break, and move on. Kicking yourself after the fact is dumb. Accept that you have limitations. In everything you do, analyze, learn, apologize, but keep looking forward.

    This view of life has saved me a lot of time and RE! wink

    Last edited by Kriston; 07/11/08 02:19 PM. Reason: Crosspost, Dottie! No, it doesn't sound cocky. It sounds perceptive!

    Kriston
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    Welcome, cransaer! Happy to have you! smile Please join in anytime! laugh


    Kriston
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    Scary artical, it makes us each reflect on how we advocate for our kids. It's natural to keep checking on ourselves. Look at how many of us are told the, just let them be kids, stop pushing, etc....Imagine though if you did nothing, I really doubt things would be better. I think as long as its about your children and not about yourself, you will most likly make the best choice. None of us are perfect, we will make mistakes, we will make changes along the way. But the goal for all of us (IMHO) is to have childern that can follow thier dreams, enjoy life,and live good and productive lives. As long as its not about us, I think we will choose ok.

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    Yeah, Edwin. I always dismissed that statement but I had to re-evaluate my dismissing it after I read that article today. So I did spend some time thinking about and then decided it was chuck-able.

    And thanks Cransaer for finding that info and posting it. It does make me feel a whole lot better, although not for little J.
    frown

    "(I hope none of that sounds cocky or anything!)"
    so......NO!!!

    And if I had a parent crush on anyone around here I would never admit it because I don't want to look like an e-stalker!!!!!!!!

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