Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion You know you're parenting a gifted child when...

All of ours trained at 3, when they decided they were ready, and, actually, also all nursed until at least 2-7 (one well after). (Unfortunately, we weren't able to do child-led weaning on the first one, as nursing was setting off intense pre-term contractions for the second one...good thing #1 was able to understand that weaning, though personally undesirable (and unexpected), was in the interest of keeping the younger sibling in until ready to be born.) There's no real physiological basis for mandating that they train before three...it's more a question of convenience to the family system and our cultural expectations, so why invent reasons for imposing stress on parent and child?

At least in our area, a lot of preschools/childcare require toilet training by 3. My DD asked for a potty before she was 2, so it wasn't an issue for her. Stickers, M&Ms, and underwear with characters on them inspired the boys to accomplish the job without a lot of stress. It may have helped that they wanted to start school!

For my DD it was 2.5ish during the daytime but it took the incentive of a Cinderella nightgown to no longer require the one-sees at night.

My daughter trained at 3, with nighttime pull-ups until 4 - easy peasy. My son, ugh. He was mostly trained by the time he started kindergarten, but there were still 2-3 accidents a month. I think he's solid on it now, at 6 - he hasn't had an accident in three months. At least while he was at daycare they handled any accidents, but I hated getting regular calls from school to come clean him up when he started kindergarten. And let me say that there is nothing worse than sitting stuck in the school pickup line imagining your child sitting around in his own waste while you try to get to the parking lot.

There is a physiological justification for potty training girls as early as practicable, because larger child = larger bowel movements = increased risk of UTIs.

Our experience was that potty training, rather than imposing any, relieved stress on all parties. I certainly did not agree with my DW at the time, but experience has proven that in our DD's unique case, she was 100% correct. DD was developmentally ready to potty train, so why kick the can down the road?

We kicked the can down the road (in the middle of a cross-country move and house-hunt, as well as medical stuff at ages 18-24 mo) and I can tell you that doing it eight months later was an EPIC power struggle.

I wound up with a kid that found it amusing to make Mom clean for her. Because she and I both knew I didn't need to, and she knew that I resented it (because honestly, I did have plenty of other things on my plate at the time). She was more than physiologically ready-- she had passed the point of caring much, and that was the problem. We hadn't responded to HER innate readiness, and then it was about OUR desire, not hers. It was her way of giving us her own special one-fingered salute. I should have known then, actually... the day that she laughed like a maniac after urinating on my sofa-- DELIBERATELY (no, trust me on this one-- I had JUST asked her if she might need to go and she had sharply informed me that this was none of my business)-- and then telling me to "clean it up!"

(Yeah, incoherent phone call to my spouse at work over that one so that I could calm down... with DD still cackling maniacally in the background, quite pleased with herself.)

Toileting... not one of my finer parenting memories or moments. That was the first time I ever went head to head with Cool Hand Luke, there. It was stunning.

Well.. my DD trained at 2 yrs, 7 months. (DD is not gifted) I remember it vividly because it was only two weeks bf my grandmother died. I came home with a beany baby, if was the beginning of the craze. Told my daughter should could have it after she was dry for a day, she did it two days later and she was fully trained a few days after that when we traveled to say goodby to my grandmother. It was that fast.

On the other hand my DS was a pain to train. He HAD to train or we couldn't change his daycare situation, they required a child be out of diapers to move them to the preschool. He NEEDED out of the baby/toddler center he was in because of needed intellectual stimulation. The toys/books they had at the infant center were really limited him. The kid could READ, but didn't want out of his diapers. (The kids would hold it till I put a diaper back on because we were going in the car.) It was a motivation issue, not a control issue.

It is hilarious to read everyone's potty training adventures here. I have posted this on the forum before but DD was potty trained for #1 by the time she turned 3 because that was a prereq for attending preschool. However, she flat out refused to be potty trained for #2 till she was almost 4 (maybe even a little older). I was freaking out and we tried all the tricks in the book to no avail. Finally, one day I told her how her soiled diapers go to landfill and make the earth brown and black, whereas if she does it in the potty, it goes to the waste water treatment plant where it gets converted to fertilizer. DD was and still is crazy about protecting the earth and she loves wastewater treatment plants. That same day, DD decided she was not going to use diapers anymore. We have been good since then.

We thought middle kid would go to college in diapers. She refused to be trained, but what was worse, she would not acknowledge that she was wet. She would hold it in all day (8-12 hours), then finally wet herself - wet pants, socks, squishy shoes. When you asked if she wet her pants, she would say "No" and just walk away. She did not care. Promises of treats, big or small, did not help. Neither did attending a daycare where all of the other 3 year olds were potty trained.

She finally agreed to use the potty a week before attending a new school. This school assumed she was trained - after all, she was going into Pre-K 4 (for four year olds). I told her they would kick her out and leave her on the curb if she wasn't trained. It worked. (She still says that when she retires, she'll wear diapers and have a mini fridge next to the couch. She'll have her soda and snacks, and not need to get up from the couch to use the facilities...she is 16.)

For my eldest, training for #2 was difficult. Then, over a long weekend I told her no more kids TV shows or movies until she was trained. She could watch TV, but only CNBC or CNN. Worked like a charm.

We sent one off to kindergarten holding our breath that he would manage to not make a mess. He managed. But it was a challenge...