Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Complaining about homework

I bought some summer workbooks for DS5 via his school. They suggest working on it 2-3 times a week and 15-20 minutes at a time.

Everytime I tell him to do his "homework," he complains for hours. Once he gets started, he won't stop because he thinks it is fun. He do like the materials, but getting him started is like pulling teeth.

I do the traditional suggestion of sticker reward, etc to no avail. That's one of the major reasons why I won't homeschool myself. If I were to homeschool, I would be spending hours arguing with DS.

Any suggestions?

Start with not telling him to do it. Bring him into the process, negotiate general schedules with the presumption that he wants to work on the material.

Like: "I'm planning on shopping this afternoon, when did you want to work on your fun school challenges so I can fit that into our schedule."

Or have him decide a general schedule: "How many days this week do you want to work on your learning?" and "OK, how long do you want to set aside for it?" and "Did you want me to remind you when it is the time you chose to work on it or manage your own schedule?"

Be the partner and guide rather than the boss; so, that he owns it along with your confidence and trust.

We did just about the same as Zen suggests. Don't call it work. Don't tell him to do it. Frame it so he decides when to do it. We sometimes tied it together with a snack or something fun.

I always tell my child that he can go to his favorite extracurricular activity after he finishes his homework and that always works! For e.g. "we can head out to your swimming practice after you finish your homework and the only thing keeping you home right now is your unfinished homework!" and my child's response usually is to tear through his homework in minutes and get ready to leave.
So, give him something to look forward to "after" finishing the homework. Find out what his currency is and negotiate - for e.g. you can go out with mom after the homework or you can get your screen time after homework or you can play with your favorite toy after you finish your work. Do not negotiate with him on when/if he needs to do his homework - just let him know that he gets to earn some extra privileges which he really wants by doing the expected tasks on schedule.

This doesn't work for all children. When ever I tried that on my son we would be there all afternoon not getting it done. Even at a young age it worked better to make a plan WITH my child. I would go with the not calling it homework and setting up a scheduled "time" during the day. Or bring it as something to do when he would otherwise be bored. Like waiting for food at a restaurant.

I bought some summer workbooks for DS5 via his school. They suggest working on it 2-3 times a week and 15-20 minutes at a time.

I'm going to ask the obvious question here-- what is the intended/stated PURPOSE of this work?

Is it to "review" in order to prevent the skill erosion which is typical of NT students over the summer months?

Skill building for next fall?

Or something else?

Because if it's either of the former, I'm not so sure that I'd be pushing it that often. Maybe ONCE a week is enough for him. Maybe less, depending upon LOG and the type of learner you have.

We do school work over the summer, to keep my old dd (who has LDs) from regressing too much. Right now I have my younger dd doing the 4th grade EM workbook (what she's supposed to start in the fall) in hopes she can skip to 5th grade EM by the fall instead.

I find that giving them 'control' over the work helps. As others mentioned, asking when they'd like to do it. I also let my younger dd pick which pages she wants to do. She seems to like this more and fights less when it comes time to do it.

Fair enough.

DS goes to a play-based camp all day, and a couple days a week has other sports activities after camp. His behaviors deteriorates tremendously after too much free plays. That's my main reason for doing school work during the summer.

What bothers me is that he is indeed interested in the materials but argues and fights about doing it.

I will try giving him more controls about when and what to do.

This is an interesting topic for me. I'm having my DD6 do about 10 minutes of math a day this summer, which is not expected by her school (in addition to reading practice, which is expected). I've thought a lot about the why question.

- I feel that the school is not quite moving her along at the pace she is capable of. This is a chance to get her up to her actual level of challenge. During the school year we just don't have the time to do extra. I don't have to worry about this backfiring because the school will let her work at the level she's at next Fall.

- So far she has a love/hate relationship with math. As near as I can figure it out, she hates having to confront something that doesn't make sense to her yet, but loves the mastery once it occurs. At ten minutes a day, I'm hoping she'll learn that she is not being asked to climb Mt. Everest, that she's being asked to do very manageable chunks, and that comprehension really is the outcome of just focusing for a few minutes.

- As a more general point, I want her to get over this business of throwing a drama-queen death-of-Hamlet scene when she's asked to focus on something. Particularly, when her MOTHER asks her to focus on something. Again, at ten minutes a day, I'm hoping that the cause-effect relationship will start to sink in -- just focus, and we're actually done really quickly.

The ideas of giving the kid some partnership in the scheduling is interesting to me. I will try to work that in.

Is it possible you are misinterpreting his behavior. My DS15 is very introverted and after a full day at school he craves ALONE time. Time to do what he wants without anyone bothering him. In addition he could be hungry, tired and emotional exhausted.

So while doing working on worksheets might be a way to calm him down, how about other quiet activities like letting him read or something else he might like. It might even be a good time for a short video. I don't see anything wrong with working on the workbook if he likes it but if he is complaining about it perhaps it isn't the right activity at the right time.