Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Movies and Gifted Children

Our DS is seven and has led a pretty sheltered life so far. (Unless you consider what I'm now witnessing outside my window...he's driving our ride-on lawn mower under dad's scrutiny. Hummm...I wonder if this is a precursor to taking the family car for a spin? Yikes! )

Back to my thought: We try to regulate what he watches on tv and have done this since he was very little. He is sensitive, so we didn't want to contribute to "nightmare material."

I want to know how other parents help their children choose what movies and tv to watch; or not.

A recently found site: Kids In Mind

From the site: "Since our system is based on objective standards, not the viewer's age or the artistic merits of a film, we enable concerned adults to determine whether a movie is appropriate for them or their children according to their own criteria."

I pre-watch all new material, which means we don't watch a lot of movies. DS2.7 has watched the Toy Story trilogy, the original Winnie the Pooh movie (fast forwarding through the Heffalump scene), and The Incredibles.

(I have to put in a plug for The Incredibles, as its message of using your gifts to the fullest resonates well with a GT audience. This is DS' favourite movie--he loves the super hero baby, Jack Jack, and has glommed onto a line by the sarcastic fashion designer, Edna Mode. Highly recommend.)

A site I consult for some of our media is www.commonsensemedia.org, and I reference the parent reviews. Generally, I try to identify potentially objectionable scenes from the comme ts and read the transcript for that section of the movie, as that can save me time watching material that will just be upsetting to DS.

This might be overkill for an older child, but it works for us now.

I find that DD6's sensitivities are so idiosyncratic that other people's ratings don't work. I have to judge for myself on a case by case basis.

When she was younger I kept her to minimal screen time, not because I think it's evil, but because I believe that passive viewing is a learned skill, and I wasn't in any rush for her to learn that.

We've started to watch movies fairly recently. Beyond basic screening for material I don't think she's ready for, my more important criterion is finding interesting stuff to fill her mind with. So far she has watched Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and the first three Wallace & Gromit movies. I'm thinking of trying Totoro next. I would love to hear other people's suggestions, not just of movies that are non-objectionable, but of movies that are really worth watching.

I just asked DD17 what her favourite film was when she was little, Matilda (because she was clever and could do magic).
We usually kept films for wet sunday afternoons, she mostly watched documentaries and some kids TV. What I have found is that she regulates herself very much now, she has shows that she watches to chill out (brain candy) but has also discovered Shakespeare especially Hamlet, 3.5 hours nearly put her Father and I into a coma, but she loved it.
As for sensitivities some films would upset her, but we talked things through and she learned the difference between film and real life. Real life apparently isn't scary it is just films that are, go figure.

We watch a lot of movies, because DD has a long attention span and movies are usually of a higher quality than random kids TV shows, with more complicated story lines and more sophisticated character development etc (depending on the movie of course, I only go for what I think of as 'good' movies!)
We use common sense media, too, though I go for a year or so older than DD. It also has good lists of movie suggestions.
Aquinas, we love The Incredibles but I always feel a bit squinchy at the guy-jumping-off-a-building scene - I don't really want to explain that
We don't really limit screen time because DD tends to self-regulate anyway. Sure she may spend a whole week glued to the TV, or a game, but next week she'll be reading her history books, and the week after building a weather station outside, so I'm happy to roll with that

I'm not sure why the writers felt suicide was necessary. Couldn't they have just argued the Supers were causing too much infrastructure damage?

I'll admit to deception. I said the man fell off the building and was projecting his displeasure at being injured onto Mr. Incredible.

When my son was in early elementary he was very sensitive and had things he would NOT watch. The main example was "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory". The Johnny Depp version has just come out and advertisements were everywhere. Both movie versions, the book, and even didn't want to see the movie cover. He even got in trouble at school because of this.

Because of this I was careful what movies to let him see. At around the same time he saw a photo of ET and became very fascinated. I ended up watching it with him and he had no problems. I really had a hard time figuring out what would bother him and what wouldn't.

As to what is appropriate. Best thing is if you have watched a movie already, or watch it with them. My son is a teenager I'll let my son watch almost anything as long as my husband or I watch it with him.

My kids (DD2 and DS5) are actually not very sensitive when it comes to movies. They've been pretty good with some "scary" movies (e.g. Ghostbusters and Harry Potter). My husband has no filter when it comes to media, so the kids have seen snippets of things that I wouldn't have let them see from his channel surfing, like Walking Dead or Platoon.

The thing I am really going to have to start monitoring, though, is music videos. They both really like pop music, so they'll sometimes ask to watch the video that goes along with the song they like. Those tend to have inappropriate sexual things, which I don't want them to pick up. Already from seeing stuff on tv and Frozen, my tiny daughter has the idea that people should kiss with open mouths.

We've kept our DS6 pretty sheltered with media also. No media before 3 and then he fell in love with the Aristocrats and Super Why. He still only watches something a couple of times a week. He's got so much he wants to do and read that there's no time for media. Yeah! I hope that lasts!

Now he is more sophisticated and very sensitive to violence and loud characters. Two movies he loves right now are Hugo (after reading the Adventures of Hugo Cabret) and Because of Winn Dixie (again after reading the book). His empathy for the characters and what they go through is amazing and he's able to put it into perspective. The flip side is he cannot watch The Little Mermaid or The Lion King because they are too stressful and violent. We also let him watch trailers to see if he's interested. He's very good at setting his own boundaries and we totally respect his decisions.

Old school live action is definitely a hit and fairly safe. Big Red is a family favorite, Swiss Family Robinson, The Parent Trap, live action Charlotte's Web with Dakota Fanning and live music concerts. Our son loves watching his favorite bands in concert on DVD! The Avett Brothers, Adele and John Denver. It's becoming much more fun for us to be able to watch more mature movies with him and discuss after. Have fun!

At age 3.5, my son is really sensitive. I only let him watch things that I think are nonfiction or there is really nothing scary. He gets nightmares very easily.

John Denver and the Muppets Rocky Mountain Holiday is safe. :-). I find the older movies/shows tend to be safer. Also not as frantic.

Anything nonfiction doesn't bother him. Food chain, predators, extinction, and demolition are fine. Short Disney Snow White book in the dentist office... Nightmares galore. No way I am trying an actual Disney movie any time soon. (My husband suggested the book to him. Sigh. He no longer trusts Dad's choice in books.)

When he is older, we will push these sensitivities a bit for growth, but for now, it can wait.

My DS6 is actually afraid of television. He can enjoy a nonfiction program (Planet Earth, NOVA, etc.), but anything fiction will send him running.

My DS8 would only watch documentaries until this year. He still prefers them, but will watch the entire Star Wars series.

He still flinches at emotional or suspenseful scenes. He's read through Harry Potter 4 but has yet to make it through the first movie.

DS6 is less sensitive, but also prefers documentaries.

They both love Frozen. Not sure how to explain that, as they are both the kind of boys who cringe at anything remotely girly.

DS7 is also mega oversensitive (like his mother). He watches mainly documentaries and those even have to be assessed by me beforehand (which he asks me to do!). The things that we have to keep away from him are anything not age appropriate (obviously) but also anything that is too tense or suspenseful. Typically what he prefers is to learn about the topic beforehand and then to watch the video to reinforce what he has learned. For example, he once wanted to learn about the exodus from Egypt (as he saw a preview of a show that was going to explain the exodus from a scientific viewpoint). He had to read first about how it all worked out BEFORE he saw the video. He wouldn't have made it through the video because it would have been too tense, too scary...there would have been too many what-ifs (what is going to happen to all the children and families if the Red Sea comes crashing down on them?). He watched the show and knew beforehand that everyone was going to make it across.

As far as fictional movies, he sometimes wants to see what other kids are seeing in the theaters. We watch a preview online and I talk to some of his friends' parents who know about DS's sensitivities. They have been great about giving me a sense of whether or not the movie would be enjoyable for DS. (Though DD3 watched Elmo in Grouchland recently and DS7 said to me, "That movie is still too scary.")

My 7 and 8 year old watched "Fly Away Home" last night, about a girl/dad helping orphaned Canadian geese to migrate using a homemade airplane. DS said afterwards how much he liked it. At the very beginning the girl's mother dies in an accident (which is implied more than shown) and there is a scene where a goose is hit by an airplane (the goose was Ok), but otherwise there wasn't anything too disturbing in it for a sensitive kid.

My kids aren't particularly sensitive so I haven't been too worried about it. Obviously, I wouldn't show them something that I knew was inappropriate or rated R at age 7-8. I will probably check some of the posted links from now on though.

From about 2.5 - 4 yo, our DD9 hammered us with the question, "Is that real?" Refining that boundary between reality and fantasy is what has allowed her to enjoy fiction for what it is. The less realistic a story, the more she can just enjoy it. She can even laugh at elaborate death scenes.

The more possible a story, the less she likes it. Current events are still a no-go.

That is interesting. My son at 3.5 also asks often if something is real or pretend...and has for a year or so. He clearly likes things defined and used to tell us he was pretending before delving into pretend play.

For him, knowing something is pretend and knowing something has a happy ending don't help. I am hoping age and maturity will help.

I think you just have to decide what your own child is personally capable of processing. DD who just turned 10 watched Matilda when she was 5 and every year after, and loved it. She watched A Wrinkle In Time when she was 8 and we still watch it periodically and she loves it. At 9, she watched all 8 Harry Potter movies twice and loved them. However, at 9, we tried to watch Life of Pi and she was overwhelmed with emotion and we had to turn that off fairly quickly.

DS2.7 is keen on pretend/real, too. We've had extensive discussions about how monsters, witches, dragons, ghosts, and other creatures are imaginary. DS now understands that some people like the excitement of feeling scared and make up characters for amusement, while knowing full their inventions are pretend.

DD6 is very hit or miss with movies. We did not allow screen time until she was 3, but now we don't limit it, she has always done a good job of self-regulating.

DD is very sensitive and there are many movies she does not enjoy (anything Muppets, anything dinosaur related--she starts thinking about their extinction, and always ends up sad and crying), Brave and quite a few other Disney movies.

Some of her favorites are Charlotte's Web (the one with Dakota Fanning), Mr Poppers Penguins, Mary Poppins, Annie, and Frozen. She watches very little TV, pretty much only My Little Pony and Fresh Beat Band. Occasionally, she watches nature documentaries...she loved Flight of the Butterflies which was at our Imax theater recently.

I saw a few great suggestions by PP, I have now added Matilda and Parent Trap to our Netflix queue.

I love Hayao Miyazaki's movies, but so far her sensitivities are still keeping these off-limits. She did watch Arrietty, and for the most part liked it, but there were a few parts that we had to fast-forward through. She only gave Ponyo 5 minutes before asking if we could turn it off.