Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What should I do re gifted son

My son was reading when he entered K at age 4. He was immediately skipped into Grade 1. A few weeks later, the first grade and K teachers asked to see me and told me that he was bothering the other kids because he couldn't sit still at the tables, and the first grade kids were supposed to be working independently. They asked me to have him evaluated for ADHD. Rather than do that, I asked them to put him back into K, which they did. However, his behavior has been spotty in K as well. Some days his behavior is fine, while other days he doesn't sit still and will call out the (correct) answers. He always complains of being bored, since he is not learning anything new.
Too, I was told not to teach him anymore because I do not know the Core Curriculum which his school relies on, and if I taught him multiplication, for example, any answers would be marked incorrect on an exam because of the methodology.
I live in NY State, in a farming community. There are no gifted programs anywhere near me. If I have him evaluated, I would have to do it privately because I do not want anything detrimental on his record. It would cost us a lot of money. What would the advantage be? Do they have 504 plans for gifted kids in my state? Would he be entitled to an aide? Would the school provide funding for one of the online gifted programs?
Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

Sorry, we don't have more specifics, but you might want to cyber or home school until your gifted student is mature enough to be in classes without drawing negative attention from students and teachers and admin. That would give you a chance to evaluate your student at home and discern strengths and weaknesses for yourself and that additional info. might tell you (and your instincts) exactly what your child needs next. I think Laura V. (associated with Davidson) might know about New York. Check the regional part of this website, too. Good Luck. Sounds like you are right on top of it. That is great. Also, don't let anyone make you feel bad about the fidgeting. I think there are studies to show it is an indication of an active, smart brain and that you can actually burn calories with all of the fidgeting. Hopefully, there will be better understanding of gifted kids soon. We should probably all try to inform people as much as we can. Hang in there.

It's normal for a 4yo to behave like a 4yo. It does not indicate any condition like ADHD.

Also go ahead and teach your kid whatever you like.

I think it's extremely normal that a 4yo is not ready for the discipline required for grade 1. And most 6yos don't necessarily behave well everyday either. Really can't see why this alone merits a test for ADHD.

In terms of them telling you not to teach him anymore, I think it's hard for other to know how to take this advice. If you have been teaching him because you want to, I'd say it's probably indeed a good idea to stop teaching him what he will learn at school, and focus on things that schools don't cover. If, however, it's the child who really wants to be taught, I would not stop teaching him.

Fidgety - could be seen as an overexcitability as described by Dabrowski (this almost always gets mentioned at any gifted talk I've been to). Physiologically a 4 year old boy - hello, I don't know any of those who aren't brimming with energy.

Have you looked at hoagiesgifted.org? Lots of info on there, including state mandates. It's kind of an overload of information so it's ok to take your time.

Your child sounds like a normal 4 year old kid. My son is 9 and is a fidgeter. My husband is too. He explained the fidgeting as a way to actually pay closer attention since you're meeting some kind of need to move. Kind of like how your computer has programs running in the background so that you can do your work on one tab kind of thing.

If your school doesn't have a gifted program, you probably don't have teachers trained to deal with gifted kids.

As for you not teaching because you won't be teaching CC curriculum, I would hope that any teacher worth their salt would point you toward some resources. Teacher supply stores likely have CC aligned curriculum throughout, as mine do. In fact, it's exceedingly hard to find curriculum in those stores that's not aligned, even in my state (VA) that is not a CC state at all. They are not worried about your teaching, so much as the potential of bad test scores because they don't think you can teach it as well as them or in the way they would.

The common core standards do not specify a methodology per se. You may wish to read the math standards here... http://www.corestandards.org/Math/, focusing on "operations and algebraic thinking"... multiplication appears to begin in grades 2 and 3.

I agree with others that teachers ought to be able and willing to point you to the curriculum which they are utilizing. Failure to do so may indicate that schools wish to be the only teachers of children, to help ensure equal outcomes for all students.

My response to this would be: That's fine, I have no problem with my DS receiving down marks for procedures at this stage, when grades don't really matter, as long as his multiplication is correct. As he progresses in math and in life, the specific procedure used will matter less and less than the results. However, you're likely to lose his respect as a teacher and authority figure when you mark his correct answers wrong.

That's the perfect way to describe DS8; fidgeting or pacing helps him to think.