Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Public school- are these red flags?

I'm gonna say that this bit:

"She is on the younger side so it is not like I can put her with first grader for math."

Is especially insane. I'd like to ask the psych if she has any redshirted kids with young for grade kids in the same class now? What's the max age difference a classroom can handle before the apocalypse arrives, I wonder?

--Signed, mom whose K kid has been splitting his time between K and 1 all year without anyone's head exploding

The only objections I see as possibly legit are the ones about your child not being able to read the problems and the one about grades not doing subjects at the same times. I can see how logistically, that could be a little hard. If your DD can already read some, perhaps she will be caught up enough to read the math sheets for gr 1? There usually isn't a lot of text or high-level text.

DS's teachers have worked really hard to have him go between the grades and not miss anything fun or special in his home grade (missing content is not a concern in either grade). It's been a labor of love on their parts, and I really appreciate it. They do teach their math/reading blocks at the same time. I believe this is in place to permit this kind of thing.

Blackcat, I am going to wait till end of this month to see if they come back with anything. I am not too hopeful.
Puffin, you are not kidding. My heart sank deeper with each of her statements.
Somewhereonearth, my instinct is also to run as I am not good in situations like this. I either completely shut up or completely lose it. If the school does not come back with a reasonable plan, I am not even going to enroll dd there.
Cammom, I felt like she was just trying to throw one hurdle after another for me to cross. I would have much appreciated if she had started the conversation with," so what do mean when you say your dd is good with numbers?"

Dad22, it is as if you read my thoughts and put them down so well in your post. I haven't researched state policies on gifted Ed yet but I know our state (ny) has no funding for that. I don't know if I am ready for a battle. Hoping the school makes it work.
Ultramarina, redshirting is common in our district. I met a couple of boys that had come for k screening who had already turned 6. So yes even within her k grade most children will be a year or more older than her. Dd has a fall birthday so she will be one of the younger ones. In her current school, she interacts daily with elementary and middle school kids, so I don't think age should be a huge issue. I agree that reading is a legit concern. However, right now she reads at about an early first grade level ( using school's leveled reading system). It is not that she can't read the math problem, but she will expend so much energy on reading that she won't focus on the math and would have to re-read for that- something that really frustrates her. But she went from zero reading to her current level in the last 4 months so maybe she will be in a good place by September. Ps. I wish I were in your school.

If and when the school gets back to me and if they want to hear my suggestions, I am thinking of some solutions. Please let me know what you think of these ideas.
1. Let me come in during math and pull her out for the right level math. She can still be required to take whatever test they give to assess kindergarten skill proficiency.
2. Allow dd to attend only 3.5 days so she can stay home with me for 1 day homeschool. This is what we do now. While I was hoping to return to full time work this year, I am okay waiting one more year. I know that the district does allow part time kindergarten.
3. Send her to first or second grade math (based on school assessment) but pair her up with a buddy who is a good reader but needs math help so the two can help each other out.
Do any if these make sense? I know I may never be asked for these but I want to be prepared just in case.

I think these are all great suggestions. I'm thinking that the one that could most easily be presented as in the best interests of the school would be #1, as you could even offer to help with some differentiation groups once a week, or some other parent volunteer-ish-type activity. Additionally, her pace of math instruction would not be limited to a lesson a day in a higher level of math, but would be whatever she can handle.

Thanks aeh. You have a great suggestion there so that school would view me not as their adversary but partner and helper. I like that.

I know I have experienced all of those responses. I am trying to decipher how those canned responses are so aptly rolling off of these taxpayer employees' tongues: Is it...

-something they learn in school,
-how the non-geniuses really feel,
-total chaos and disorder (no good leader at the top),
-they will always deny genius (think Davidson / Laura V. book),
-possibly something they learn in a school union?

We are not sure, but still keep trying to figure it out, because how else can we make progress?

On a related note, look at the rubrics the public schools use to 'rate' your child. I have to blink hard when I see that a leadership driven gifted child gets a 3 out of 4, because the school does not want any children 'making waves.'

As I always say, this is where humor comes in. I still have a great imagination so I picture Jerry Seinfeld doing a bit on what we are experiencing now.

Also, it always comforts me to know that the gifted scholar can get up to speed on any subject so quickly, even if they are trying to hold the gifted kids back, I think history and the present day have shown that you cannot hold them back. In fact, when the young students realize how they are being treated that might be the moment when they realize they are in charge of their own future and then the parent does not have to advocate to the same degree and that young person knows how best to advocate for themselves.

Our child is still young, so we are always looking at other options. That may be an inherent gifted trait. We are always looking at all options and trying to think of some new ones. Hang in there. You are not imagining it. I know it is disturbing because they don't seem to understand what is going on and you are paying them.

It may also be that things will be different when they meet your child. The only thing about that is that math talent tends to be less obvious than verbal talent in the lower grades.

We have never gone in to talk to schools ahead of time, choosing to let our kids "out" themselves. This is partly because our kids are pretty extroverted and obvious and partly because we feel coming in ahead of time tends to produce this kind of reaction, especially if you do not have anything on paper. I do kind of think they've been trained to say it--let's face it, there are a lot of parents out there who do say this kind of thing, or so I hear, anyway.

Even after school starts, we wait a few weeks to say anything. I want the teacher to have time to get to know my child and get a sense of him/her. But this has to be harder if you have a quiet child.

Wesupportgifted, your last statement is spot on. We moved to the district mainly for the "good" school district and we pay a lot in property taxes to live here. It is very disturbing that the school is not even willing to just listen to my side.

ultramarina, I would not have approached the school on my own but when they gave us this questionnaire,I felt it as appropriate to list that math is DD's strength. I did not use any words such as advanced, gifted, needs enrichment/acceleration etc. I kept it matter of fact. DD is social but likes to see everyone happy. She will never show what she knows (to people outside close family) until she is put in a situation where she has to. She is a goof and hides her abilities pretty well. Her current teacher still does not know that she can read! I am working with her on this but she also needs my help to speak up on her behalf. Granted, I do not do a great job at that myself as I am similar to her.