Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Really Really Disappointed.

FWIW, if the teacher knows that you recorded her and shared the recording with the ADHD center in order to undercut her questionnaire, I wouldn't be surprised that she is defensive with you now. From her point of view, you are probably a parent who "doesn't want to see" the "obvious" ADHD that she sees, and she is doing her best to go around you to help him, just like you have been doing your best to go around her to help him. My daughter also "doesn't like" to write (she also has a dysgraphia diagnosis). Her teacher loves her, no question, but still pressures us to consider an ADHD diagnosis for her instead. (She had a tentative diagnosis from her pediatrician on the basis of a BASC questionnaire, which the neuropsych said she thought was not correct.)

This is what I was trying to get at in my post. Whether or not he has ADHD doesn't really matter (or is beside the point), the fact is that she seems convinced that he has it and she is probably convinced he should be medicated. Or, maybe she sees ADHD as a behavior problem that needs to be fixed and not a mental disability. Sorry if it seemed like I was implying your DS is like this other kid (which I know he's not)...it was just an illustration of how some teachers will become very negative about a child in order to get the parents to "see the light." She is probably convinced that you don't get it, you're over-focused on the giftedness (again, not saying you are, but it's probably her perspective), and you're ignoring the fact that he has ADHD symptoms even if you have valid reasons for not buying into the ADHD speculation or see the symptoms differently.

My DS is the same in that he is scatterbrained, forgets what he's doing, etc. Yesterday I told him to change his clothes and he started to put fresh clothes on right over his dirty shirt and jeans. I said "No, you have to take the dirty shirt off first" like he's 2 years old. To someone who does not understand dyspraxia, it probably looks either like ADHD, or like he's not too bright.

I just have to reassure you that this is not actually true. I use the BASC-2 often, and there are most definitely validity checks in it to flag when teachers are being excessively negative in their perceptions, or when their responses are inconsistent, or otherwise unreliable. I just double-checked my manual regarding inconsistencies between teachers and parents, and this is what it says: "It is important to consider, however, that a child might simply behave differently in the presence of one respondent as compared to another, or in one setting versus another. Use of the (observation) or (developmental history) may help clarify whether this is the case." It goes on to suggest that one should obtain ratings from multiple raters, so that one has some possibility for identifying outliers among the raters. (I usually send out between two and four to academic teachers, one or two to parents (say, if the child has a shared custody arrangement), and have the child (above age six) complete one.)

If this comes up again, request that the examiner have multiple ratings done by the school (in an elementary-age student with a single academic teacher, that might mean asking specialist teachers to complete them). You can also have other community members who see the child frequently complete forms, such as coaches, dance teachers, religious ed. teachers, etc.

Irena, I am sorry you are going through this. My son has dyslexia/dysgraphia/dyspraxia and a connective tissue disorder (originally thought it was just EDS type III but could be a more rare mutation). It is such a roller coaster. I don't have any advice. You are doing everything you can. Just know that there is some one else with a similar kid and I struggle too. It is just hard.

You know, I believe it was a clinical manual (I am thinking it may have been by Barkley?) It was a manual specifically about diagnosing ADHD and it was for clinicians and there was a whole section on what to do when the parental BASC and teacher BASC conflict. It went on about how, in such a case, the parent's BASC is to be given less weight due to parental bias. It talked about how parents have a bias so the teacher's is more reliable. It also gave a lot of guidance on how not to communicate this to the parent, how to make them "feel" as though they are being heard but then to not really take the parent seriously. I found it a little disturbing quite frankly. I came across it when I was researching about what happens when the two reports conflict. Now I suppose that it could be out of date, or maybe it is a manual that not every one follows, etc. But the manual was really clear that in the case where there are discrepancies between teacher reports and parents reports, there was no discussion as to considering whether or not the school environment was inappropriate, or whether or the teacher was biased, etc. It was all about how the parents can not be trusted and how to make them feel like they are being heard and trusted while pretty much disregarding them.

That was when I realized I couldn't just *hope* that the doctor/evaluator would look into the appropriateness of the school environment, the teacher's feelings and potential biases, the teacher's possibly misinterpreting certain behaviors, etc. I knew I would have to get her on record with her clarifications as to why she answered how she did and have the evaluator consider those as well.

Excuse my ignorance Irena, but this woman does realize she's a teacher and not a medical doctor, right? It sounds like she's overstepping her professional duty and verging into the territory of offering medical advice without a licence.

Yeah, I agree. It is what it is ...and it is getting offensive and annoying!

aeh, first I want you to know how much I've really valued and appreciated your insight here - thank you so much for taking the time to share your knowledge with us - I can't tell you how much it's been helpful for those of us dealing with 2e as well as simply gifted children!

With that said, I hope you won't think I'm trying to argue a point you've made - I'm not, just wanted to shed some light on what parents of 2e kids sometimes experience, particularly at school. While there are safeguards in place, things like a misdiagnosis of ADHD based on a teacher's negative ratings can happen, even with trustworthy professionals. Our ds was evaluated by a neuropsych who we highly respect, but he did come away from his 2nd grade neuropsych eval with an ADHD diagnosis based solely on his teacher's BASC rating (she's the teacher I mentioned above). We (parents) anticipated going into his eval that she would be biased based on the communications we'd had with her all year up to that point, so we purposely requested a form also be filled out by that year's 2nd grade student teacher, who'd been in the classroom all year and had ample time to observe our ds in an educational setting. We personally handed forms to both teacher and student teacher, and when the completed "forms" were turned back over to us in sealed envelope (per directions from our neuropsych) the teacher informed us that she told the student teacher not to fill out her form because she didn't have enough experience to be able to fill it out correctly - so we off the top lost a second look at our ds' classroom functioning. The neuropsych showed us the primary teacher's responses and they were all very very "negative" - not really the term I'm looking for, but not descriptive of our ds and indicating he was having horrible difficulties functioning at school. And to be fair, he was having challenges - but not to the degree or of the types listed by the teacher on the BASC. His actual and correct diagnosis is Developmental Coordination Disorder, and he has very severe dysgraphia due to the DCD, plus he moves slowly and clumsily and has other fall-outs from the DCD, plus an expressive language challenge thrown in the mix. So he has some symptoms that look like ADHD, but it's not ADHD.

Having that diagnosis of ADHD on his documentation followed him like wildfire at school too - it was the diagnosis that teachers understood because they see a lot of it, and it was something we had to get past every time we were trying to advocate for his true needs based on his true challenges.

I know that sometimes we probably come across as perhaps paranoid or not trusting (as 2e parents) but some of us have been through some very tough battles advocating at school, and I think we're basically battle-scarred. Perhaps even a bit PTSD (speaking for myself here, not Irena!).

Thanks again for you're helpful insight - it's much appreciated!

polarbear

I think she is just annoyed by DS and by me quite frankly. And she is just voicing that wherever she can find a platform...

KJP, oh no! Sorry you are going through that. Thanks for your kind words ... I hope all is okay with your kiddo. Yes it is a roller coaster .