Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Help - what, exactly, am I dealing with here?

Thanks, Indigo, Carol Dweck's insights were actually EXACTLY was I was thinking about when I wrote my original post. I can see based upon the examples mentioned above by others above, though, how a parent could carefully tailor this advice to their individual child and the situation.

I wondered if it was CTD.
Our ps experience got pretty bad. Really quite bad. Rough school.

There are two private schools I would be interested in but they cost $14,000 a year! So, for now I am doing the homeschooling plus CTD. We travel a couple hours to get there and we stay at my parents house. It really seems like our best options for now. I don't regret signing up despite the cost and effort! I like their approach so far. (But honestly, we were getting pretty desperate)

Thank you so much! That first video was really helpful. I'm looking forward to watching the second, but it'll have to wait until later tonight.

Thanks again!!

Sorry your PS was such a rough experience. That is wonderful that you are really going the extra mile (yeah, literally!) to help meet your child's needs. I'm glad you found CTD, and I bet they'll be a good resource for you through high school. Those online AP courses for high school kids look pretty great.

Have you been able to plug into a home-schooling community in your area? Homeschooling seems like such a big challenge - I greatly admire parents who do it, and do it well!

Indeed. It's worth pointing out here that in the example I gave, the message is a compromise between fixed and growth mindsets, because I'm telling them they're smart while also imparting that they can learn this, because they have demonstrated superior abilities, but that learning will not come without effort.

At the risk of additional redundancy with Dude's post-- yes. That's how we try to approach things around here, too; that is, acknowledge the reality (99.9th percentile people ARE out of step with the world at large), while at the same time turning toward growth as learning, in order to deal with the excessive perfectionism that runs roughshod over most of our household members from time to time.

About using the "smart" word, we do not do it. I agree with that the kids, at the right time, need to know what they are about. They already know they are different and I would rather be the one explaining their differences to them than THEM putting their own spin on it. The problem I have with "smart" is that it is tossed around to ALL kids. Seems every kid out there is called smart at one point. What does that tell our "way out there" kiddos. That they still ARE like the other kids? Confusing to say the least. I totally agree with the confidence issue. I have a 6 year old calling himself stupid when he doesn't get a problem the very FIRST time in 6th GRADE EPGY math....

I actually ended up bringing out the report from the psychologist that tested him. I didn't show him the actual score, but I let him read the comments. It really changed his opinion about himself. I was desperate and not 100% sure this was the right thing to do at this age, but in the end, I think I made the right choice.

Other than that, we always praise work, and trying ones best. Any success we attribute to trying hard and sticking with it.

And Sweetpeas, I do the same thing. I always say that God has given him this gift and he needs to be humble about it. Just like strong athletes, amazing artists etc. have to be humble about their gifts. I guess this has sunk in because the other day I asked about his friends in class. After saying they are "baby-ish" and "I feel so much older" he said, "I wish God would have given them the same gift he gave me, so I could understand them better"

A comment that left me in awe and in tears all at the same time...

My kids get upset when agemates are not at their level, with specific examples. I always respond with the idea that everyone learns on their own schedule, at their own rate, and this is a lesson that their friend is working on right now but they learned already. I can usually find something their friend already mastered that they are still working on, too - table manners or something. My kids know they are particularly good at figuring things out, which makes it hard to handle when other people - even adults - are sometimes slower. It's important to honor the experience of being different without making value judgements about it.

Sweetpeas - thankyou. That is sweet.
I just spoke with a dad in my neighborhood who homeschools. He asked me the same thing! I've met a few people, but I think that this family look like the ones who are most our style and they live just blocks away. He said we should sit down sometime and he wants to tell us about the homeschool groups around.

Some days, like today, I wish my son was in an appropriate school setting and it all wasn't onmy shoulders. Other days I feel sure about what we are doing and very empowered! Those are the days that I think the school did us a favor by being so awful. If it was just mediocre I absolutely would have kept sending him. Also, they set the bar so low, it is easy for me to be more successful at home. If I read too much from people who seem to have more resources amd more suvcessful placements ffor their kids I start to feel anxious.
I should get offline now! Heh
Maybe we will run into each other someday.