Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments what we bought at the private school

DS13 transferred from our public school to a gifted private school a year ago. There were many reasons behind the transfer: very rigid instructional style, very shallow materials, teachers not understanding high-achieving students, teachers who focus on form instead of content, peer issues, general culture, etc.

The private school's academics, it turned out, are far from what we were hoping for. So even though DS is much happier at the current school (good friends, teachers somewhat more understanding, etc), we did wonder what we bought with the high tuition for the private school.

The nice thing about the current school though is that it's willing to be more flexible, and it doesn't have homework. So DS has had the time to do a lot of things that he wants to do, and has the time to do these things very well--including community activities, online academic courses, lots of music activities, regional and national competitions of various sorts. So, since almost all of these activities are DS's own initiative, eventually we figured out: we paid the school so we can homeschool DS on their campus.

I've long had this suspicion but it seems to be true in our case now: that a self-driven and advanced kid might do better in a school that is flexible even with lower academic standards than a school that is very rigid (even with very high academic standards).

Just thought I'd share in case some other families are in similar situations.

Long ago I came to the conclusion that I'm we're never going to find even what I'd consider a strong match in a school for our two sons. You've seemed to realize like I did, the best case real world scenario is simply finding a school that is willing to be flexible and hopefully finding a teacher or two who understands and has some knowledge of GT education. With those things in place, we've become accustomed to searching out opportunities and events that offer what I'd consider the real growth for our sons.

It isn't optimal that we have to piece meal a fulfilling education together, however, I grew tired of trying to fight "The system" and after a half dozen years of trying to change it realized that by the time I did make meaningful change, my sons would be long gone from that system. That doesn't mean I've given up the good fight, I've simply just come to the realization that the fight won't be won in time to greatly benefit my own children and alternative means are an absolute necessity.

So true! I'm still very involved at school if they welcome my involvement----this is mostly at DD's elementary school, since both the public and the private middle schools don't seem to want me involved. But at the elementary school I run events, build programs, voice my opinions if they are willing to listen. But while I and all the parent volunteers work hard to try to change for the better, our kids can't just wait on the sideline.

I agree. After years in private schools, I moved my kids to an online public school. The flexibility is ideal. My kids have grown so much through the outside activities they have time to enjoy now.

Yeah-- I figure that sure, I'm mostly doing it myself. But at least I'm not paying for the privilege of mostly doing it myself. All in all, I'll consider that a win, here, relatively speaking.

Online at least has minimal impact on my daughter's actual education, and comes with a nifty credential at the end that doesn't have Mom's signature at the bottom.