Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school ruf estimates and doubts about giftedness

ok - so I know the answer to my question really is just go with my dd's needs and don't worry about a label, blah blah blah. BUT, I'm not built like that and I'm spending way to much mental energy going round in circles thinking about this instead of actually parenting said dd - If anyone could give me a little help I'd be really thankful!!!

I have begun to think dd 3.10 is not gifted after all, maybe somewhere between very bright and gifted if there is such a thing... She has been looking at starfall and reading eggs for a year now (her choice ALWAYS self directed) and although if pushed she can sound out some words it appears she has learnt absolutely nothing from both (which seems a bit weird all on its own) she can only count to 20 and doesn't have any strong interests or major quirks that make me think ah yes gifted. In fact if I do a little my kid did this all I get from my mates is yep they all do that.
So I thought I'd put myself out of my misery today and do the ruf estimates, expecting a low score and then carry on with life, well it came back level 4 - I don't see how that can possibly be. I can only assume I am so delusional about her abilities that I'm lying to the tests!

The reason I thought she was gifted in the first place is the way she talks - like an adult, using 20 plus words in a sentence, correcting my grammar, practising over and over the correct way to pronounce words and phrases. She did a uni research assessment and scored above the 99.9% on visual processing and comprehension twice 12 months apart. Her preschool teachers have mentioned she is a level above and made a point of telling me they have given her access to advanced materials but that she doesn't choose to use it, they have said they are astonished by her verbal ability but haven't elaborated on that. she draws unexpected conclusions to things such as when our dog got cancer and died, she waited a few months, brought it up then had a 10 minute conversation about nutrition and us looking after her because we love her etc, and that she wouldn't get sick because we did this (she was 2) only to have her ask why we didn't care for the dog then if we loved him so much. Maybe that's a normal response I don't know. Also she regularly talks about things that happened 2 years ago without prompting and most of it is stuff that hasn't been mentioned since, although I read on slate that it's common for this to happen. I also looked at the draw a person and she's ahead on that too - but I see a lot of people don't put much faith in it.

Sooo I'm unsure - I guess I would be happy if someone said hey you got a great bright kid there, that way I can stop stressing about whether we should get that business in a rural town with a basic school. At under 4 she can't be officially tested where we live, plus I'm pretty sure she'd pack a sad and not do it anyway!

Sorry to ramble, I'm hoping someone else has been there before

When my DS was younger we alternated between thinking he was delayed and thinking he was a genius. An example on the delayed side - at 2 1/4 he had 5 words, most of which were only understandable by people who spent time with him daily. A year later we were having profound discussions about life and death that blew me away. We eventually tested (school was a disaster) and it turns out he's 2e which looking back explains a lot.

I'm not saying your DD is 2e but kids can be very asynchronous and IME don't usually follow the textbook for development. Live in the moment, follow her lead and you never know where it will take you (and yes, I realize it is easier said than done). I have no idea what we will be doing a year or two from now for school because he is changing too fast. I've had to shutdown the inner planner and really just deal with what does he need in the immediate future. Testing has helped us understand him, provided some substance for advocacy and has opened our eyes to the ranges of possibilities but it hasn't changed who he is and the path that he wants to forge. We're currently debating testing DD mostly on the premise that it won't change anything right now so why bother (her teachers see what we see - that was NOT the case with DS).

Not sure if any my rambling helped but at least know that you aren't alone

Thankyou - that's perfect

I know I've certainly been back and forth with both my kids. Aptitudes and interests and personality can make such a huge difference in how they appear on any given day or in any given situation. My DD's Ruf level estimate turns out to be pretty on track with her recent testing results, but I certainly questioned myself a lot when she was younger. Now my DS is 4.5 and I'm back there again, trying to figure him out, scratching my head, and never sure what to think. I am right now trying to decide whether to apply for early entrance Kindergarten for him (he is 7 weeks too young to make the regular cut-off, but they will test kids born in the 3-month window after the cut-off).

Oh heck yes, I drove myself crazy for months when DD was 5-turning-6. Honestly, we tested in the end just so I could put myself out of my misery!
Now in hindsight of course I have no idea why the obvious was not obvious, but like you I was waiting for a teacher or someone to say "WOW, your kid is so gifted." But they didn't - and they probably won't ever. It's a rare one who will notice and/or care and/or even know what giftedness is. Even now we can wave the bit of paper under their nose with the numbers but hardly anyone knows what they mean (and I don't know where you are but most primary schools in Auckland don't have gifted programs anyway). So don't rely on anyone else noticing - you are the only one who will.
Wait until she's 6, then test. You won't need to know until then, when she can start One Day School/Explorer's Club. Small Poppies you can talk your way into with anecdotal evidence if she wants to join now.
Good luck

Make that most schools in New Zealand don't have gifted programmes and neither know nor care about giftedness. To be honest I suspect a lot of them don't know the difference between % and %ile and therefore think that a lot of kids score at least 99% in tests is a reasonable statement.

I got ds6 tested at 5.10 because I was convinced I was imagining things (I put him at MG ot just under not PG) it hasn't made a difference at school but it has forced me to torture the budget for ODS and stopped me second guessing myself.

The RUF estimates didn't work for ds6 but did work for ds4 who is much more verbal and some early milestones. To be fair though if I had the book I might have found it included the early milestones that ds6 did have. Auckland may have enough kids for a gifted school but nowhere else does. It is a pity that the charter schools couldn't have included a gifted school but I think that would cost the election (which wouldn't worry me but might upset John)

It can be so perplexing to see your child do what seems to be stalling, punctuated by moments of brilliance.

Take my DS-almost-2.5, for instance. He started reading short words spontaneously at 21 months (just randomly pointing out words in new books), then went for months with no apparent reading. I could ask him to sound out a word and I'd get a blank stare. At times, I honestly questioned whether I'd hallucinated or exaggerated his earlier feats. Yet every so often, when we have a stack of new library books (emphasis on new-- I've never seen him do this with anything he's familiar with), I catch him whispering some of the text to himself while I'm emptying the dishwasher or tidying up.

These kids aren't all performers--or at least not universally across their interests. If DS didn't feel like talking, he could easily pass for a normal 2 year old truck-obsessed boy.

That is true, DD usually just seems a normal, bright kid, then will come out with something that makes you gape, then goes back to normal and you think you imagined it
FWIW the Ruf estimates were about right for her

oh that is great - I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one - sometimes it feels like I must have some strange attention seeking condition - even though I have never said the G word to anyone except DH.
FWIW we are in Christchurch, we are looking at a small primary school that our family traditionally has gone to and we know they support one day school. theres under 200 kids so she won't disappear. We have an opportunity in the Otago highlands though and schools only have about 20 kids or so. Great for outdoorsy kids etc, not so great if she needs special help. I have looked at small poppies, but to be honest she seems to like her kindy (a play based one) and the teachers have helped her make a core group of friends, they do seem to make sure she is busy! Anyway must fly - getting yelled at for not paying attention while playing teacher....

Your DD reminds me of DD's age-mate cousin. She talked extremely early so much so that I was convinced there was something wrong with DD. Right now, DD is the child who appears more advanced because she has academic skills but I believe it all comes down to developmental differences at this age and I won't be at all surprised if the two cousins are reading at a similar level by the time they are 13 although their interest might be quite different.

I also know a few HG+ children who looked average or below average in their reading skills until they were 6, 7, or 8 so unless you get that nagging feeling that there may be learning problems, I wouldn't make much of her reading readiness.

As for math, some children show early aptitude for math but I do wonder what that means. DD is a mathy child right now but in 13+ years, would it matter? I don't believe that all children even out by 3rd grade (bell curve doesn't flatten out when children reach their 9th birthday!) but without the drive or passion, having natural talent won't get her anywhere.

So, I am trying to focus more on helping her cultivate the ability to reach her own goals rather than thinking about her "gift."

I think in a big scheme of things, rural NZ is a wonderful setting for raising young children especially if you would have an access to high-speed internet and a good library. There may not be many choices of extracurricular activities but she'd be safe and free to explore the outdoors. But, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't want to move away from Christchurch if I were in your shoes but that's probably the city girl in me talking.