don't know what else to do
Have you read
From Emotions to Advocacy?
When emotions are involved, a situation can escalate quickly and even reach a point of no return. Documenting facts of what someone
said and
did is often recommended. Any statements about what someone thought, felt, or what motivated them may be considered interpretation, projection, allegation, or accusation and may work against the person making the statements. (It may seem to be effective in the short term, but in the long term it may backfire.)
For example:
"She was
really mean to him" may sound to some like an accusation. By contrast, the following reports observable facts of what was
said and
done: "On MM/DD/YY, Ms. XXX did not look at him when he spoke to her. She did not answer him directly, but spoke of him in the third person while addressing the class. At home after school he reported that he felt publicly shamed."
To elaborate:
How does one be "
really mean"? We get the concept, but like "gifted", it needs to be defined and documented. Not looking at him when he spoke (because it is our cultural norm to do so), not answering him directly, speaking of him in the third person while making the issue public in addressing others... these define "mean" in this situation.
Another example:
"On MM/DD/YY, while my son's IEP set forth that 'on tasks of two lines or less, DS will be encouraged, but not required, to write independently... ' during a test he approached the teacher to request scribe assistance. The teacher did not assign the para to scribe but told my son to request scribe assistance from the para. My son approached the para to request scribe assistance. Her face, her body language and her tone communicated annoyance and discouragement. She said, 'Seriously, DS? You can't write this by yourself?' She did (or did not?) help him scribe the answer, which was X lines in length. At home after school he reported that he felt publicly shamed. As a parent it is my position that the teacher's failure to assign the para to scribe the written assignment was a breach of the IEP. It is also my position that the actions of the para were discrimination against my son's handicap."
Not sure I have all the pertinent facts here as they were gleaned from several of your posts. But hopefully these examples help illustrate the principle of describing what was said and done in way that is clear, accurate, factual, unemotional, and helps others "see" what happened in chronological order.
Keeping a personal advocacy journal of dated entries may help. Forum rules preclude using this forum as a journal.
As others have mentioned, a new learning environment may be best for all parties involved. Regardless of the school your son attends, you may wish to read up on advocacy and preparing documentation, as those skills may be needed again.
