Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Things are about to get challenging...

So, we have been trying to advocate for our ds6 for the last 1 1/2 years. It hasn't gone very well.

We thought after we got him privately tested, the school would be willing to give ds what he needs- not so much. He is "reviewed for gt", but we're guessing he did not qualify. We will find out in the next week. (They are refusing to use outside testing, and Cogat wasn't good enough. He needs to qualify in 3 areas. He is 99% in achievement and has teacher recommendation.) It's very frustrating.

My dh wants to appeal. I do not. We met with the tester for advice. She said our district HAS accepted her scores in the past- annoying. She also didn't recommend appealing. She did say, we'd win; but at what cost? Is that worth it to us financially and emotionally. We also have a younger ds. Not only all that, but what if its STILL not enough? (Which I'm guessing will be the case.)

Of course there is an amazing gt school close by, but the cost would be a financial struggle (or I'd have to work full-time). I am confident about wanting to homeschool, atleast till middle school. Also, it is the least worst option for our entire family. Dh doesn't think homeschool is the right choice for social reasons. What I've tried to explain to dh is ds has no friends at school, doesn't want a play date, doesn't want a party. School isn't providing what he needs socially either.

I realize I am just venting. I just wish school was different for my ds. I wish my dh was onboard with homeschool. I really just wish every single day that ds was happy- or atleast happier.

Thanks for listening:)

Can you get a full-time job?

Why not suggest to your husband that you try it for a year and then re-evaluate? Worst case he goes back to school after a year and best case he thrives and stays home. You can assure him that you will join a home school group and certain sports/cultural/play clubs too. (There is cubs also that offers great social interaction)

This is what I had to do initially to get my husband on board.

(Then he suggested we give the school "one more go". Then when our child was broken and needed therapy husband was the one that insisted we take him out and reminded me of the way I suggested it at the beginning!)

This is also true! Our children's "social" skills are greatly improved since we started homeschooling - even if just in them recognising that they need to be kinder etc.

Here's problem with homeschooling for a year, learned the hard way at our house.

Schools won't accept courses that aren't taught by accredited institutions. I taught algebra 2 to my son last year because we didn't like the online courses we found. When he went to the local high school this year, they wouldn't give him credit for the course or for another course he did with me. So now he's behind on credits. This sounds bad, but he it could have been much worse. His counselor initially told us that they might make him repeat algebra 2! Then there was a bit of a mixup, and in its midst, he just got enrolled in precalculus. We kept our mouths shut. I should add that what I taught was way more rigorous that the local high school's course.


Local middle schools (public/private) have said the same thing about me teaching algebra to my daughter, and I'm only trying to persuade them to let her skip pre-algebra and just do their algebra course. In their minds, there is a procedure, and it must be followed. Anything off the path doesn't count.

What I've learned is that the schools can be resistant even to testing out of a course. It sounds so reasonable to just test the kid, but my impression is that they don't see things that way. If you aren't accredited, they don't trust what you've taught or what the kid has done, even if you used their book and even if the kid got a very high score on a standardized test. If you don't do all the work in front of them, it doesn't count.

I know, this is nuts.

There is the option of online classes, but quality varies widely and they don't always solve the problem (your child may have to plod through all the assignments or may get zero live instruction or assessment may be via multiple choice tests).

Hence my first comment. If that other school is really great, I would look seriously at it. Otherwise, I would hesitate to homeschool without ensuring that you know what will happen on the other side when your child wants to go back to school. Which he will, unless you're prepared to homeschool through 12th grade (which has been done, of course).

Yes. true.

But as I said, I would hesitate to homeschool without ensuring that you know what will happen on the other side when your child wants to go back to school.

ETA: a message I answered has gone missing.

I disagree with the policies you have mentioned but their existence is easy to explain:

(1) The gaps in lifetime earnings between people with people with BA's, high school diplomas, and those with no high school diploma are enormous. It would be great if high-end employers recognized the math and programming schools that my eldest child is developing outside of school, without his getting a B.S. degree, but I see little sign this is happening.

(2) Given (1), parents, students, and taxpayers feel compelled to spend enormous amounts on education.

(3) Don't expect the people making comfortable livings granting the credentials to be receptive to alternative ways of certifying what has been learned. That could put some of them out of work.

As Upton Sinclair said, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!".

But you made good points, and I obscured mine, which is, as you say, to do the homework.

Yes, I think you're right. It's really a shame.

I understand that there are people who will claim to have taught "math" to Little Johnny and Little Janey when they didn't. But testing is a cure for uncertainty over who really did the teaching and who didn't. But as you say, this approach creates problems for the credentialites.

My son needs challenge too. He is crying for that. He is first grade and refused to his weekly test last week. I said to him if you dont do your test, you will repeat the first grade. He said I dont want to do easy stuff. I tried to convinced him that there is no other way. He always plays during the lessons. His teacher told me he needs to go Pediatric neurologist. We found two,we are in a waiting list. In february we hope that we will find an open spot. The more he gets bored,the more He is getting used to do nothing in the classroom. I am scared that He will learn to do nothing:(( and becomes a lazzy person.