Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments DD wants to go back to school ....

She has been insisting since yesterday that she want to go back to her school, same teacher, same class...

She has been asking about the school for a few days already but she was telling me that she wanted to go to another group.

Now she wants to go back to the same group and same teacher as before.
DH and me are not too happy...
We really do not want to put her with the same teacher that has shown to be completely incapable of understanding DD, but we do not want to rush her into another school before we have 'studied' them.

We are trying to buy some time until at least we can offer her some alternatives.

Any suggestions?

Hi Isa,

I have no real suggestions and am sorry you're going through this (again). Grinity once told me something I think about often: (paraphrasing) remember you're the adult, you DO know better, and sometimes you have to make decisions that are really better for your child. Of course that doesn't mean you don't consider what they SAY. But what they SAY may not really be what they WANT/NEED. I have seen my kids derive comfort from a few executive decisions I have made, which may not have been what they thought they wanted (generally more simple situations than school choice, e.g. No, to a sleepover when they were already tired).

Take a little time to think about it and do not react right away (some kids like to see how much power they have). Talk about it a lot--pros & cons, possible solutions/compromises. Maybe she misses some friends, so arrange get-togethers with them. Make it clear that it's a big decision and she can't just change her mind, then change it again. First, say we have to explore the alternatives, which might take a while.

Good Luck to you.

Yep, what cym said. She is probably just missing her friends. I'd try to arrange some playdates. She'll get more out of that, than the interaction with them in a classroom.

hugs and good luck!
Dazey

We are doing a school move in September, to a school that is far from DS5 freinds. In an effort to help him with the move we have made playdates at our home for him with the other K kids in his class. During the summer break we will help continue this for him. My DW has made friends with some of the other parents and this has helped us to keep a core group of local friends for our DS. In regards to the new school, we have taken him there to vist, walk arround, and meet his teachers. The new class 1 students will have a play date before school. And we will try to contact some of the parents befor school starts to see if some the kids can meet. It was, and still is a hard choice. Our DS says he wants to go one day and on anotther says he wants to stay. I think next week will be emotional becuase it is the end of school. We have arranged it so that our son can corespond over the summer with his teacher's. I don't know if our experance is of any help, but so far it seems to be working.

My DS7 has been whining all week about a teacher he said he didn't like all year. It's about getting used to a new situation and finding new social outlets. Especially for extroverted kids. I'd make sure she has plenty of social opportunities and don't lose any sleep over this.

Sometimes parents need to read between the lines for their kids. Plenty of adults don't how to really vocalize what they're really feeling.

Hi all,

thanks a lot for your suggestions.

We do not want to let her go back to the same teacher again, except for one day to say goodbye to the class so she can have some 'closure'.

I think the play dates are an excellent idea. I am trying as well to get in contact with other parents of GT kids here in the area. And I am thinking ways of keeping her challenged, because I think she needs more of that as well.

I told the results to her private Dutch teacher (she comes at home twice a week) and she was really impressed! She obviously did not think that DD was that GT... and now she is going to increase the level of difficulty of the activities/games during the lessons.

It seems that the GT school will only open in 2009-2010 so we have to look for alternative for next year. We have our hopes in the public school around the corner who have some program/provision for GT children (pull-outs and acceleration).

Lovely!
Grinity

Well Paraphrased! It's my 'Keep an Independent Perspective' speech.
Smiles,
Grin