Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment I'm new...where do I find a test??

Here's the link to the acronym list - we've got ourselves some unique ones!

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....of_Common_Gifted_Acronyms.html#Post13990

Here are some book ideas - Maybe we need a stick with favorite parenting books?

http://www.sylviarimm.com/keys.html

http://www.parentchildhelp.com/PowerStruggles/TableofContents/tabid/67/Default.aspx
'Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles' - which doesn't mention giftedness specifically, but does offer a good framework to deal with the 'more' that often goes along with gifted.

Welcome,
Grinity

Thanks Kriston for the link to testing centers in the Tampa area. I sent off an email to the Dr. & now waiting for his response.

My next step is to speak with the Principal on Monday & find out about having testing done through the school. DS attends a small, private christian school, so I am wondering how this will turn out.

I will also ask the principal if there are other gifted students in the school & if so, I will contact them for suggestions. If not, I guess I am on my own...

I feel like I am starting all this too late. I had all the signs from birth, but never thought it meant he was gifted. He walked at 7 months, lifted his head & opened his eyes wide in the hospital, knew his alphabet at 18 months, as well as shapes, reading at 3 yrs., etc. We all just thought he had a "photographic" memory. I knew he would be the smartest kid in his class, and he was. He won the spelling bee, math bee, bible bee & science fair this year in kindergarten. I have even received comments from other parents suggesting no one else gets a chance because DS wins everything. Like, I would keep him out of a contest so someone else can win...should I??

I feel like this is the 1st place that I can talk about how intelligent DS is & you won't all think I am bragging or exaggerating, because you are all in the same situation. Have you all experienced these things? I almost don't want to tell people outside my family about all the things he's done for fear they will think I am bragging or making it all up.

Thanks for all the replies. I feel like I am starting on a new journey!

Happy to help! Heaven knows that I've gotten sooooooo much more from this forum than I've given back.

Hoagies is a wonderful website for GT families. I recommend exploring it when you have a chance, if you haven't already.

To answer your question, yes, I think pretty much everyone here knows how you're feeling. I know I was often the quiet one at playgroup because my child was at a very different place developmentally than the other kids. And I think a lot of the kids in the group were at least MG, which explains why I wasn't aware of just how GT DS7 was back then. But he was still visibly different.

So please feel free to "brag" here about your kids to your heart's content. Personally, I *LOVE* reading good stuff about kids--all kids, GT or not! It makes me happy to celebrate their amazingnesses.

(Or if you need to, feel free to complain about how hard it is--that's something else that people don't really seem to get about these HG+ kids out IRL...)

And just to make you feel a bit better, I hope, I went through the same feeling about starting too late. I think that's part of coming to grips with what we call "GT denial." I knew enough about GTness from my own childhood (my mom started a GT support group back in the late '70s, so books and magazines about GTness were all over our house when I was a kid) to know that DS7 was GT. But I figured he was "just" MG and that he would have an easy time at school.

My awakening came after I saw how high his achievement test scores were on his teacher-ID'd GT testing in K (just shy of 6yo). I was shocked. We had books in the house for as much as 3rd graders--4 years above grade level should be enough, right?--so I had felt like I was doing pretty well. But there was nothing for DS7 above that. Then I saw that he was testing as reading like a middle schooler at not-yet-6yo. Yikes! The guilt I felt for not giving him what he needed was awful!

On the bright side, you feel it and you get over it. Those feelings are part of the natural process of dealing with an HG+ child, I think, but you can't change the past. Figuring it out at age 6 is a lot better than it could have been, after all, and it's plenty early enough to make a difference.

My advice, FWIW? Allow yourself to feel guilty for your shortcomings and to mourn the easy, painless school career you dreamed of for your child...for a while. Every child is different and all the kids discussed on this forum have taken different educational paths, but I don't think any of the parents here would say it was easy and painless for them. It's one of the big things we all have in common. (Of course it was easier for some than for others. Some lucked into a cooperative school right away. But even then, there are constant insecurities and dilemmas.)

But feel those feelings and then forgive yourself as fast as you can. The next stage in the process is taking action to get your child what he needs, and it's a lot harder to do that if you're crippling yourself with guilt. (Trust me! I've been there!) You're doing what you need to do, so let go of the regret and the self-recrimination. You're a good parent and you're doing what you need to do now. That's all that matters.

Besides, you obviously weren't doing *that* bad of a job if your child knows what he knows, right?

Welcome to the journey!

Honestly, I am not even 100% sure yet if DS6 is GT. But, my gut feeling is strong to believe he is. Just from reading tons of other posts here, I was like, "That's my DS6!" But, I guess I won't know for sure until I have the tests done.

Now, about the hard part of it...he was & is a handful. I always thought he is so smart,he knows how to work me. But the perfectionism in him is so strong. He breaks down if he doesn't do something perfectly. This keeps him from trying. He was moved into 1st grade reading at the start of kindergarten. That teacher said he would not read out loud. When he did, it was so quietly, she asked me to work on that with him. He is afraid to make a mistake in front of anyone but me. He will read loud & proud to me & ask questions to me, but not to anyone else.

Also hard, the emotions. He is super sensetive. This may be related to his super artistic side. He loves classical music, art & reading & writing stories. He gets his felings hurt easlily & is hard on himself. Even to the point where he puts himself down & says he hates himself because he didn't do something correctly. It breaks my heart. I gently tell him that he is smart & special & important to us & that if he fails, he has to try again until he gets it right. But, in his own time. I never force him to do anything perfectly. He is just a kid. If I see him getting frustrated, I tell him to take a break & go play for awhile.

Are these typical characteristics of GT?

Gotta run & pick them up.
BBL

Not to be contrary...but I suspect you *are* sure! You're just second-guessing your gut. Tests are merely one more bit of evidence that a child is HG+, but tests are no more valid than what you see and feel about your child. They're just the one that's most acceptable to schools and often the one that we parents with GT denial can't deny (no matter how hard we try!).

Basically, if you see your kids in the descriptions here, then you're in the right place!

And yes, sensitivity and perfectionism are two hallmarks of GTness. Perfectionism tends to be reduced when a child is challenged regularly by his/her work. Sports and music are two other ways to challenge a child who is used to being perfect at everything.

Have you found any books on GTness yet? You might look into Deborah Ruf and Miraca Gross's books, just off the top of my head. They might help you.

I just joined. I live in Sarasota, and would like to have my son tested. Does anyone know of a Dr., in Sarasota that does the testing. His school does not offer it, and they asked me to try the public school he would attend if he wasn't at a private school, They weren't much help, and I would like to seek a private testing person. Thanks!

In fact, I posted the link to Hoagies' website on this very thread! Read page one for the best help I have to offer...

Welcome!

Most of what I have read states that Parents are the best at knowing if their child is gifted. I mean who knows them best. 90% plus knew their child was gifted. Our DS5 is also sensitive, it seems to be a common trait. We are trying to help him with this. In regards to intellagence (Not mine, I can't spell, where is spell check?) we are working hard to value effort. It seems many gifted children value themselves for thier intellect, and this becomes how they view themselves. Because of this when they get things wrong, or can't solve a problem, they are not smart in there minds. There self worth drops and they become overly critical of themselves. If however they learn to value themselves through effort, they learn that they need to work harder (Which you can do) rather then be smarter (A set figure). It's been hard for us to change the praise from product to effort.

Thanks Kriston...I am going to look into those books now. I am feeling releived to know that there is nothing "wrong" with my DS, but he is just different than other 6 yr olds & has special needs.

How about your other children?? I have a DS4 who is not gifted. He met every milestone, right on que & of course, is very bright! But, a completely different child. He was sooo easy compared to my other.

Edwin,
Thanks. I get it now. He is valueing himself for being smart & not for his efforts. I need to focus on praising his efforts as much as the outcome.

I just ordered "A Parents Guide to Gifted Children". It is my 1st book on my new journey & recommended by Hoagies as a must read 1st book. So, I will start there.