Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Help me with email to teacher, please!

Yes, this has been my suspicion. I also strongly suspect she has a class that is lower academically than last year's class so she goes SLOWER. I think because she needs to go slow and be repetitive she loses DS to dreamworld. I have seen myself. Last year DS has several really bright classmates... Three of them including himself are in the gifted program this year. DS commented this class is not on the same level. I SERIOUSLY believe this is a big factor, adhd or no... But I don't have hard evidence obviously and I just can't say something like that...

You're absolutely right. According to DS the teacher scribes for him and she can't do that and teach so DS is left...

Ugh. So here we go again. The idea of meeting with these people and the principal makes my stomach turn. (I know that's bad) They say they want strategies and such but the meetings usually end up with them resisting my suggestions, ykim? I know I shouldn't pre-judge but after last year... Ugh. I seriously find myself realizing this is a good idea - i.e., calling a meeting to brainstorm, maybe even an iep mtg... but when I actually think about doing it my stomach goes in knots and I get seriously phobic about the Pandora's box I may unleash. I fear they are not REALLY gonna want to hear me suggest more work for them and more scribing/writing accommodation support. If they wanted real solutions they would have brainstormed with me at the p/t conference. They were more like "he doesn't pay any attention, what are you gonna do about it as it will eventually affect his grades." Instead of "what can we do at school to help with this." When I inquired about 'engagement' and such I was shut down.

As I think about it, part of me feels like since DS is happy and the only ones seemingly unhappy are the teachers I should just leave well enough alone... Continue on with getting the private adhd eval in the meantime and see what happens next year. He is still super high in math and reading ... The other stuff, apart from writing I suppose, are not real grades anyway.

And so what if we get an adhd dx , what then? Do they start doing more to help? Or do they just blame everything on adhd and throw up their hands until we experiment with meds?

Ugh. Sorry, just thinking out loud as the realization of having to meet with these people again to solve "a problem" sinks in...

Thanks everyone for letting me vent here, thanks for listening to my rantings and thank you for your helpful insights and advice. I will definitely not send the email. If I do anything, I will do what y'all suggest - call a meeting, use the language you proposed, etc... I am just working up the internal fortitude. And cringing at the prospect. On the bright side, I do still have the lawyer on retainer so at least that part is done and ready to go should I need it. SIGH. Why can't we have one peaceful year... it's always something!

I hear you about dreading a meeting! Our meetings have morphed into a ridiculous procedure that is impossible to schedule with 10 or 12 people there, and I can't figure out who is on our side and who isn't. Very uncomfortable to say the least.

If it really is ADHD, then he has a disability that they need to accommodate. The psych who assessed DD had a list of things that we can write into a 504 plan. So you would have more leverage to make them do what you want, but if they would do those things anyway, there is really no need to bother.

Just as one example--DD's teacher regularly keeps her in from recess to finish work. She knows about the ADHD, she read the psych report, but there is no official 504 (yet) to tell her that doing this is inappropriate. With the dx in his records, you wouldn't have to argue with every single teacher each year, it would be right there on paper. That's of course assuming he has ADHD, which he may not. But the psych who assessed DD said we could write a 504 for slow processing speed as well (not so sure how that would work as "slow processing" isn't a disability as far as I'm aware). I would just keep pushing for an eval and you might get something that can be written into the IEP to help your case. If not ADHD, maybe you can get other recommendations for appropriate learning environment.

I might be off base here so feel free to ignore this, but could it just be the lack of/inconsistent use of accommodations?

I always thought of ADHD being the fall back when other things were ruled out. I copied this from the DSM V

However, ADHD symptoms must not occur exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder and must not be better explained by another mental disorder, such as a depressive or bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder, or substance intoxication or withdrawal.

If he has accomodations for EDS and anxiety and they are not being followed, I would not keep looking for more explanations.

It sounds like his teacher is the one with the "attention problem". She isn't following directions or doing her work.

Grrrrr....from a fellow EDSer.

I'd certainly start with getting full compliance with the IEP, and then re-evaluating the school situation.

However, ADHD is comorbid with so many other things that I'd also want to know if it's present or absent. It often happens that even if parents don't think there is an issue at home, the child's needs have effectively trained the parents to modify the home environment so that "normal" at home is already structured to ameloriate attention or compliance issues. For this reason, when in doubt, I'm in favor of investigating.

There are now computer-based assessments of attention-- it's no longer just someone making an educated guess.

Quick response - has he tried the Nuun tablets instead of Gatorade/Powerade? They help me with the EDS fatigue more.

No! No one has ever mentioned them to me! Off to google!

Do send the Thank-you part of the email.