Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Angry And Irritable 5 year old DS - Help!

We finally got our DS into a new class. Teacher is young and kind and is working with sensory issues. However our ds is so angry! He has no patience at all and his behaviors are getting worse. His self esteem as at a low, he keeps saying he is not a smart boy. He is so different than the kids in his new class. He doesn't fit in. But I've never met a kid like our ds either.

Considering meds for the sub threshold ADHD but not sure if try will help. Curb the impulses maybe and improve his behaviors? Improving behaviors and being in less trouble might help his self esteem. The school will be retesting IQ and doing achievement testing.

I'm also concerned that ds needs so much sleep. He never seems quite tested despite naps and melatonin at bedtime?

I have no ideas at this point!

Personally, I wouldn't start trying ADHD meds if you know there's a sleep issue. Sleep issues can cause all the same symptoms as ADHD. If your doctor hasn't already, contact a sleep clinic!

You could try supplementing fish oil. A lot of ADHD folks have seen some improvements by adding Omega-3 to their diets (typically at a higher dose than is typically recommended.) I believe the recommended for a kid is one gram a day (many only have a few hundred milligrams, so you've gotta read the labels! You also want to look for one that's got a 4:1 ratio of Omega-3 to Omega-6.)

I jus started ds on an omega 3 gummy supplement. I may increase it. We are adding in healthier foods and trying to help in the nutrition area to the best of our ability with a picky eater! Thanks for the info!

What does his pediatrician say about the sleep issues? If you haven't discussed this with your ped, I would. FWIW, there are medical reasons why a child might not be getting enough sleep - and if he's not getting enough sleep you could be seeing the overflow from that in behavior struggles during the day.

I also wonder if his sensory needs are getting in the way of a good night's sleep? You can go in so many different directions with sensory needs/challenges depending on the individual child that it's tough to give advice about it - but just curious - have you tried having him sleep under a weighted blanket or in a sleeping bag? Does he complain about having sheets scratching his skin or anything like that? Is he waking up a lot at night or just always tired?

Like Amy, I'd also be wary of trying ADHD meds before you've worked through the sleep issues as much as possible. When you say he is so different than the kids in his new class - how is he different? Is he different in a way that looks like ADHD or in some other way? I really wonder about his comments that he is not smart. Have you asked him why he feels like he's not smart? I wonder if his answers to that question might help you think through whether or not it's ADHD or an LD that is the real challenge for him.

What is the school's reason for testing? If the school is redoing IQ and achievement testing due to behavior challenges in the classroom, are they also doing any kind of functional behavior observations etc?

Best wishes as you try to figure it all out -

polarbear

One thing you can do regardless of anything else is to bump up the exercise level for your DS. From what you say, it looks like he sleeps a lot (?) and is unrested when he wakes up. My DS cannot fall asleep naturally because of his very active mind that keeps the thoughts buzzing around in circles all night long. So, the pediatrician said to increase the exercise level by a huge amount and to stop all screen time (screen images overstimulate kid's brains and disturbs sleep). We drasticllay increased the exercise level - PE in school, martial arts (3 times a week), swimming (2 times a week). And no screen time in our home.
My DS falls asleep now before his head hits the pillow and sleeps through the night. It is a great change in lifestyle for our family because for many years, I have been awake at night sitting with a toddler unable to sleep.
So, one thought would be to make him so tired that he sleeps soundly. And to make that happen, my only recourse was organized sports with a coach who could put my kid through the paces.

I agree with everyone else that it is a good idea to work on the sleep issues before bringing in medication. Sleep disturbances are notorious for looking like ADHD/behavior issues. And you can always take the further step of adding medication at a later point when you are confident that other issues have been ruled out.

Several things that might be disturbing his sleep that you may want to consider:
- sleep apnea (does he snore? toss and turn a lot? maybe throw up for seemingly no reason at night?)
- ear infections (maybe evident in coughing more when he lays down since fluid buildup putting pressure on the eardrum can cause a reflexive cough)
- a distracting environment (room not completely dark, noises that could maybe be covered with a fan or other white noise, toys within his view when he is laying in bed, a t.v. or other electronics close to bed time)

What is his general routine throughout the day? Do you have a very consistent sleeping/eating/activity schedule and bedtime routine? Do you think he has a fairly consistent blood-sugar level throughout the day?

Can you tell us a little bit more about this new class he is in? Was he having these issues before he was in this class? Do you think his behavior is tied specifically to school and/or the new class, or do you see things at home as well?

Thanks everyone.

The school is doing IQ testing based on the extremely low scores he got from our psych. His overall IQ scored at 82, with a very low processing score. The principal was very disturbed by this. She said at minimum Zach should be at 100. (She feels he is highly intelligent.) Especially since he is excelling at reading and was formerly in one of the higher functioning class rooms and doing well academically. They will be doing observations also. Everyone that knows our ds comments about how bright he is. Teachers that know our ds say no way is that IQ score correct. I do think he has attention issues. Our biggest hurdle is that ds thinks he knows everything so it's hard to explain school work because of battles. There could be some working memory issues, but it's hard to tease out. His handwriting skills are poor. He is just learning to write numbers but had 20 minutes of common core math last night. When his writing picks up and can keep up with his brain it will be interesting! He will make it!

DS feels he is stupid because he is always in trouble. And he is. He is an interesting combo. He has little tolerance for others. He likes to be silly and pull pranks, which get him into trouble. (He mooned two boys yesterday after the bathroom. Today he was telling his boy buddies how to spell poop and pee. He gets in trouble be he thinks it is hillarious). He also resorts to physical measures when people ignore him and don't cooperate. His interests are strange sometimes and other kids don't get him. He doesn't have Aspergers because he is so social, but he has a hard time communicating with many kids his age. He wants to pretend to make labs and test things, or he will hone in on weird things like all the mechanism and machinery in IronMan and the other kids have no clue. He acts out movies and other things and other kids don't understand him. He is just different. We love him - any disability he has he can overcome, and we like his quirkiness because we are both quirky too.

ADHD symptoms are being off task on his work, being highly distractable, and wanting to converse all the time. He is very impulsive - if he wants to do it, he does it. But his actions have a purpose. It's not a bouncing off the walls kind of impulsive. It's not random. He has ADHD symptoms but he isn't what I think of as the typical ADHD. He was never accident prone or taking risks. In fact he needs to take more risks. I don't know he is a hard case.

On the sensory - he sleeps in scivies because he loves his sheets.

On exercise - when? He gets a snack after school and then naps from 4-5:30 or 6:00. At 6:00 we eat and then do homework. He might get 45 minutes to an hour to do what he wishes. Then bath time and bed. My husband doesn't get in until 6:45-7:00. If we did sports ds would have 0 time to do anything he likes. We do play nerf gun wars a lot in the evening so he gets to run around. He has gym 1 day a week. Ds isn't a big sports fan. He might like karate, but he has no coordination whatsoever! (Neither do I.)

Out of curiosity, do you see better behavior when he is with older children or children he has more in common with? How is his behavior at home with you?

Routine - up at 6:45-7:00
At school at 7:30
Home at 3:30, snack
Nap 4:00 to 5:30 or 6:00
Dinner 6:00 until 6:30
Homework and playtime
Bath (reads 3 sentences we write for him to read at bedtime per his request.)
In bed 8:00 -8:20 with Melatonin probably asleep in 15 minutes after begging for a drink or some other issue to delay bedtime.

We run our ac fan and bathroom fan at night for white noise, but doesn't necessarily tune out everything. My husband gets home at 7 and still has things that have to be done when our son is asleep.

Yes DS prefers very verbal children his age, or children a year or two older. He communicates better and is less silly unless overstimulated. The older kids guide him a little in areas where he has poorer judgement.

He loves taking to adults too. He asks a billion questions. He craves information but could care less about handwriting.