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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 669
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Athletic labels are much more awards based...Olympic gold medalist, Heisman trophy winner, Super Bowl MVP.
Categories such as elite gymnast, all star, all American, or first round draft pick are closer to the term gifted because they are less specific but give you the general idea of the level of the athlete.
People don't cringe at elite gymnast because you quickly know this is someone on the top level and not taking tumbling at the rec center once a week.
But could you imagine if elite was used instead of profoundly gifted...I'll stick with PG.
...reading is pleasure, not just something teachers make you do in school.~B. Cleary
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
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We've explained to DD about where she (probably) is on the distribution for cognitive ability, where her dad and I are, etc.
We have also avoided HAVING a number to "hide" from her, too, incidentally. We advocate for and treat her as the child we see in front of us, after all, and the number wouldn't change a thing.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
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Joined: Dec 2012
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Descriptions such as gifted musician or talented dancer are very much used. Gifted as we use it is really short for academically gifted. I think it would probably be better if we said that.
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Joined: Dec 2012
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People have used the phrase academically advanced to describe DD and I prefer that over "gifted."
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Joined: Dec 2010
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We 've told one kid and not the other.
We tested DD when she was 9 for 2e issues. She was already in the school gifted program and they talk openly about what it means to be gifted during their pull outs (in a very positive way, I'm thrilled), but she remains vague on the admissions criteria. To motivate the 2e testing, we discussed the hypotheses that the dr had about what was going on, and I described that the testing would tease apart the competing hypotheses. When the results came back, she had to have buy-in on the school services, so I walked her through the neuropsych report.
I never said intelligence, gifted, IQ or anything like that. I didn't show her the scores, but explained percentiles ("if you take 10,000 kids, your ability in this area would be in the top 10"), and we talked about the VIQ as "this is a measure of how well you think about and use words...", etc, so it pointed out the strengths and weaknesses, and got us the buy-in we needed. We also wrote our own home version of an IEP with her own goals, and what she and us as her parents would do to meet them.
DS was tested at 5 for speech and hearing assessment, and at 6 for a grade skip. He knows he's in the gifted program, he knows he's been skipped, and he just figured out how much younger he is than the next older kid in his gifted math class. He never asked his results, and we haven't provided. The context and age are enough different that I don't see what it would accomplish.
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Joined: Sep 2013
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People have used the phrase academically advanced to describe DD and I prefer that over "gifted." Mana, this is the phrase I usually use when there is a need to talk to others about DS who are outside the circle of people who have a similar child. I do think it can also apply to children who have benefited from significant extra learning or tutoring, which doesn't present all of the same challenges. Funny story, though, I used the term academically advanced with a trusted colleague and he immediately said "so is he gifted, then?" It seems he has grown children who followed similar patterns, so he picked up on the code word.
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Joined: Oct 2011
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We could hardly keep this to ourselves, as DD is in two daily pull-outs for the "gifted classes" with the "gifted teacher." This necessitated a lot of talk about what they mean by the term "gifted."
We didn't give her a number, but I did tell her that in a randomly-selected group of 100 kids her age, there would only be one kid who is as quick or quicker to learn than her.
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Joined: Aug 2010
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To be honest, at this point we are trying not to tiptoe so much around the word, since as I've said, it's in the dang name of DD's school. I may wish it wasn't, but it is.
So now, when DD, say, absent-mindedly tries to screw the cap on something the wrong way, I might say, "All righty then, gifted child" and she'll roll her eyes, and we both laugh.
Also, as someone else said, it did help her sort of understand why she felt different. I have heard more than once that some children actually do believe they are stupid, or very strange, due to not understanding why they aren't so similar to other children they spend time with. You don't have to use the term "gifted" to have that conversation...but it's a shortcut. Also, some kids really need to be told that it's normal for other kids their age not to be able to (XYZ) yet and they shouldn't remark on it in noisy amazement. (Uh, that would be MY children.)
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Joined: Mar 2013
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No. My twins are 6.5, and they know that they did a couple of activities last year during K with two different "teachers" to help us find ways to make school more challenging for them. Now they work with one of the those teachers (the gifted coordinator) on a regular basis. She is known as the ATP teacher at our school, and although they figured that out from the yearbook, they don't know what it means, and I have refused to tell them. Last week, one of them asked her what it meant, and she said "A Terrific Place."  They do know they are "ahead" of the other students because they noticed, and that because they work with the ATP teacher they get "harder" and "more challenging" work. They know what IQ is from reading books, and sometimes will say things like "My IQ must be at least 100!" I usually just agree that it is at least 100.  I have told them that their brains allow them to learn some things more quickly than some other people, the same way that some kids are able to learn to play particular sports better than the other kids. I have tried to emphasize, though, that just because they can learn something more quickly doesn't mean that they will know it better than the person who spends more time learning it. Frankly, I know they have seen books in my bedroom with "gifted children" in the title, so I wouldn't be surprised if they know the term and think that it applies to them.
Last edited by momoftwins; 10/22/13 08:05 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2013
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we've tried so hard to stay away from labels, but after the crisis we had in Pre-K, some discussion with DD5 about what was happening was imperative. the phrase i've used with her (and, incidentally, any stray adults who ask) is that she's simply "out of step with her age peers."
it's a nice, non-threatening code!
Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.
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