0 members (),
117
guests, and
53
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
S |
M |
T |
W |
T |
F |
S |
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 141
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 141 |
Dude, I think we've been in the same meetings. I no longer try to conceal my exasperation when in volunteer meetings, since I need to horde my concealment abilities for work meetings. In my workplace suggesting the obvious answer too early leads to its rejection as impossible and then the meeting runs even longer as the risk to my eyeballs from the pen in my hand increases.
My elementary school experiences have been flooding back since DS7 & DD5 started school. While it hasn't been fun for me to relive those years, the memories - and consequences - are extremely motivating. Two degrees later I still don't know how to study/apply myself/learn from mistakes and I do not want my children following that path.
My K and grade 1 teachers pushed for a skip, but the principal refused. I spent elementary school acing the work with zero effort and then reading the books hidden in my desk. My report cards consisently said that I 'failed to work to my potential' - right beside the A's. No one except my parents saw the problem. They moved me to private school, which was somewhat better, but still involved hours staring out the window with no perceptible effect on grades. When I hit university and finally had to put in some effort, it was such a surprise that I gravitated to the fields I could easily do well in, instead of challenging myself, something I deeply regret.
I still think of myself as garden variety smart, in spite of testing results, and I already see DD5's self perception heading that way. We've been at private school from the outset, hoping to head off some of these problems, but it will take at least a skip for her to avoid Phoning It In Disorder.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,181 |
My report cards consisently said that I 'failed to work to my potential' - right beside the A's.Oy. Yes, yes, yes. I've finally said "uncle" to a lot of the school's nonsense this year. I explicitly told my DD that Phoning It In is a Fine Strategy, so long as it results in A's. I no longer care, because it has been made Abundantly Clear that the school's stated learning objectives have very little to do with: a) reality, b) learning, or c) academic integrity. I'll get all three elsewhere, and I think it is damaging to insist that my child "pretend" that any of those things is happening. We strongly prefer that our child enter adulthood with her B.S. meter in good working order, if it's all the same to them.
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1 |
meetings were designed for butt kissing and cow-towingThis literally made me laugh out loud. Thank you-- my goodness, BLESS you for that description. I just noticed iPhone's auto-correct changed "kow" to "cow". That would be a fun image for a meeting. Brings a new meaning to "steering" committee. Hooray! Autocorrect made its first funny.
What is to give light must endure burning.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,478
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,478 |
Zen Scanner, your approach is the precise one that my DD seems to have used from birth. It was downright eerie to have a 4yo summing up (correctly) the M.O. and inner motivations of adults around her.
She knows people-- and WOW, does she ever have leadership potential-- but she spends at least 90% of her time studying PEOPLE/SYSTEMS, not the topic at hand. I'm going to venture to guess that if she finds herself in a leadership position that making marginal and intractable decisions will also be her greatest challenge. "Do I layoff person A or person B?" is the stuff of nightmares. I admire (and am a bit afraid of) leaders who can make snap decisions with only 60% confidence.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 669
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 669 |
Yes. This is why I am always lurking on this site, because it is so comforting to know there are people out there who feel the same way.
Even my DS6 struggles sometimes with homework because the answer is so obvious to him that it couldn't possibly be the RIGHT answer, could it? So he spins his mental wheels looking for something meaningful. Major flashback.
I wish I knew how to help my kids with that. I wish I knew how to help myself with that. I still struggle in meetings. My son was doing a fill in the blank question about the boston tea party (8th grade am history class) and we were laughing because we couldn't figure out something about throwing the tea "in ____________" was it supposed to be "in the harbor" that just felt too obvious "in defiance" "in rebellion". I told him to write down five or six possible answers but that in the harbor was my guess. It felt like a where phrase to me and not a how.
Last edited by Sweetie; 10/09/13 12:01 PM.
...reading is pleasure, not just something teachers make you do in school.~B. Cleary
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
Zen Scanner, your approach is the precise one that my DD seems to have used from birth. It was downright eerie to have a 4yo summing up (correctly) the M.O. and inner motivations of adults around her.
She knows people-- and WOW, does she ever have leadership potential-- but she spends at least 90% of her time studying PEOPLE/SYSTEMS, not the topic at hand. I'm going to venture to guess that if she finds herself in a leadership position that making marginal and intractable decisions will also be her greatest challenge. "Do I layoff person A or person B?" is the stuff of nightmares. I admire (and am a bit afraid of) leaders who can make snap decisions with only 60% confidence. Sometimes the goal is to make a decision, not to make the correct decision. Just flip a coin and move on.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 417
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 417 |
I copied Dude's post to my frustrated IT husband. He has been consistently recognized as one of the top professionals in his technology in the world for the past 6 years and has a thriving consulting business on the side that keeps him sane but his full-time job is a regular knife in the soul....I keep wondering when he is going to walk out of there permanently. It's difficult always being the brightest person in the room and being treated like you can't possibly know what you are talking about. The benefits package and flex scheduling is what keeps him coming back for more. I'm thankful I got to opt out of that world for the harrowing world of full-time mother to a super intense kid.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,390
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,390 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,513 Likes: 1 |
Yeah, that's about the speed of it.
What is to give light must endure burning.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 848
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 848 |
Sometimes I wonder what teachers and administrators (not the good ones) would think if they read some of these threads. The not-good ones would say we are all full of ourselves and not nearly as smart as we think we are... which is pretty much what they say about our kids.
|
|
|
|
|