Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Not-really-brag-so-much-as-quirky- anecdote thread

hee! the use of yammering + truthiness all in one go! love it.

One of DD's favorite spots to visit is a weather station at a nearby school. I cannot peel her away from it but she too cannot handle real weather. Well, she can handle gentle breeze (for now) but if the wind gets strong enough, she starts freaking out since she is convinced that one of the tree branches could snap and fall, which isn't completely baseless but still, talk about a disproportionate reaction.

Mana - With my DD9 anxieties and where we live you would think weather would completely freak her out. We live in tornado zones and we have been through several crazy nights huddling in the bathroom or the basement. However for her there are set rules for how to deal with those and we know how to prepare for one so that helps her. When we see a night that's going to be cruddy she helps by carrying blankets and essentials downstairs. Also she brings books to read or her tablet. I don't know if this will help but maybe if you sit down when it's calm and find out what would help her be okay. Maybe having set rules for what she can do during a storm will help her take some control over the situation and make her feel better. Just an idea.

Cassmo451, that is really brave of your DD. I don't know if I could ever live in tornado zones.

It won't be too surprising if DD develops anxiety eventually because of her hyper-sensitivities not to mention a family history of anxiety and phobias. What is hard at this point, because my DD is a young 3, is tweaking our what is developmentally normal and what we need to help her cope with long-term. She had this fear of water on her face for the longest time and making her take a shower was a sheer torture for us because she'd then scream her head off but suddenly a few weeks ago, she decided she was done with bath and wants to only take a shower instead. She has outgrown most if not all of her sensory issues from toddlerhood and doesn't complain about noise, tags, seams, and food colors anymore but new triggers like the evil tiny little bird pops up out of nowhere.

I need to go get a real drink soon.

Mana, are we talking Shiraz "real" or 80 proof "real"?

To your health!

Thank you, and I'll take both and more. A large pitcher of margarita sounds good, with a plate of really spicy tacos.

¡Salud!

Before I begin I want to say that this is a longer post than I intended but maybe it will help others with what I have "learned" from my quirky child. And then again you might think I am full of hot air and need to shut up. If that's the case I am sorry you feel that way. I don't normally expound on my opinions this way or this much.

Mana you will make it through this! And so will she! Maybe with a few tears and lots of hugs but you will make it. I gave up early on deciding what was "normal" development and started thinking, "What does my daughter need to get through this and learn to cope." The change in my thinking has helped a great deal. I recently heard a statement from one of the Hansen Brothers (remember that song MMMBop) that said normal is just and average of abnormal. I liked that statement because no child is really "normal," and that leaves a lot of room on either side for variety. And variety is beautiful, even if it can also be scary for little ones who aren't sure how to handle it.

This is a quirky thing but also goes along with what you have said. When DD was a baby she did not sleep well (still doesn't), hence neither did I. One thing I had to do with her is take a wet wash cloth and rub her forehead with it to settle her down but she found her own coping mechanism that I still don't quite understand. The head board of her crib padding had this Pooh Bear on it. The head was kind of a pop-out plush thing. DD was about 6 months old when she started reaching for the ears of the pooh bear and rubbing them between her fingers to put herself to sleep. We started calling them "her ears." She slept with those up until about 2nd grade where they went to be washed and didn't come back and she never really notice. But when she was a toddler and going to daycare I had to make sure they went with her because she would not take naps without them. I remember several times being called back to daycare to bring "her ears" because we forgot them. She would also use them to calm herself when she was anxious about something. She no longer needs them and at her age I do not feel it would be appropriate for her to take them with her but she does need to find something that will work for her later in life, which is why she is now in counseling.

She still has the over sensitivities to certain clothing, loud noises, crowded or chaotic spaces, perfectionism, and different textures in food. But those over sensitivities also give her an amazing connection to music, reading, and learning. There is a positive side to the intensities.

I guess the point I am trying to make is a child is unique in what makes them tick and as with any child, gifted or not, we have to teach them how to cope in this ever changing world and sometimes the best thing we can teach them is how to be adaptable.

Okay I am climbing down off of my little stage and slinking off. I am not sure where all that came from but I think maybe you can all understand...LOL. It's been one of those weeks for me and I am constantly reminding myself to breath and we will all get through this.

hey Cassmo451! this is what this board is for - and if you've had a hard week, i'm glad you found a place and the time to let some stuff out. it's hard to talk to people about our kids in the real world - and that's what brings us all here.

my DD (now 5) used to rub the silky tags on all her shirts whenever she was feeling difficult emotions - your story about the "ears" reminded me a little of that. like you, i worried a little that it might be a coping strategy we'd have to replace down the line, but in the end she took charge of it herself. i had at one point talked to her about starting to clip the tags on any new items, but then i kept forgetting to do it. then one day a few months ago, i found her sitting on her bed amidst a neat little pile of tags with the nail scissors in her hand - she'd done the lot.

when i asked why she'd decided to clip the tags, my quirky little bean told me that she felt it was time to "put away childish things." the funny thing is, i'm not sure where she even picked up that particular allusion!

Cassmo451, I rubbed the tush tags on my stuffed animals so much in my first few years that my Mum had to keep sewing on replacements!

Oh no, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm grateful that you took the time to reach out. DD had the worst melt down of her entire life last night and I thought she was losing her mind (I know I lost mine some time ago). The last few days have been really impossible so just knowing that I'm not alone and other parents have survived raising children like DD gives me a hope that maybe one day, I'll be able to hold it together.

I think it's time for DD to go to school away from me. I'll miss her and it might backfire but something has to change and maybe she needs more than what I'm giving her at home. Until then, I'm going to try to add more structure to our life.