Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Reading past bedtime . punish or not ?

I think the problem in the OP is that he has a nighttime ritual that involves reading on weekdays, and that ritual is taken away during the weekend. I find these rituals to be very useful in preparing for sleep, so we try to stick to them religiously.

This isn't much of a problem at our house. DD8 reads before bed, but self-regulates pretty well. She'll even ask me to turn out the lights on some nights, where she's ready to skip reading and go right to bed. But we have had some issues with DD not getting enough sleep lately, and we're not making it about the reading time at all. Our focus is on the bedtime. If she's not getting enough sleep, it's time to move bedtime earlier.

So we tried giving him choices and of course , he chooses to have the reading time , which is perfectly fine for us . We don't mind at all with his choice of reading for half an hour to 45 minutes before bedtime . He goes to bed by 9 and starts reading until 9.45 , he'd supposedly turn the lights out and go to bed .

Well , so last night , me and DH were watching tv about 11.30 , when we suddenly heard a sound ,a sneezing sound .. by the stairs . DS' bedroom is upstairs , so we knew it was him , since he's our only one too . We saw him standing by the stairs , eyes wide awake no sign of sleepiness at all .. and his excuse was " oh i was too hot , i was going to grab the light blanket down there "

I knew it was just an excuse , if he was already alseep , his eyes should look sleepy and tired , not wide awake like it was . Later on he said he just couldn't sleep . So he did finish reading by 9.45 , shut the lights off , but i guess never did sleep . I might have to try some soothing classical music for him to try to listen . DH is not happy at all with this ( not the music ) , he's going to move DS' bedroom downstairs now . I don't know if this is going to make any difference ..

I never punish for reading. (ever). DD10 will stay up until close to midnight on some nights reading (bedtime is 9:00) and I let the fatigue she feels in the early mornings be a natural consequence.

I go a little to the extreme, actually... like if she's supposed to be doing something else, like cleaning her room (sigh), and I catch her reading instead, I let it go. Reading is like a free pass.

I'm probably a little too book friendly, but it's an activity I really value that I think will help her in the long run.

I'd look at WHAT he's reading before bed.

This is why I am nearly always reading 2 books at once. There's the page turner that I burn my way through, and then another book that I have to read much more slowly. Often it's a non-fiction... biography or something. Some books have the ability to really, really get your brain going and then you just cannot sleep!

I am glad I found this post. Last night, I took my child's reading time away because of behavior issues and it was just so late. I feel a guilt over that and reading this post helps me understand that other people experience this as well. I am going to rethink how we handle this. It is not worth it in my book to see her face when we tell her she is not allowed to read. So, we will rework the punishment aspect because I really want to keep her love of reading. (Sorry for the ramble but my allergies are kicking in big time)