Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Do parents volunteer too much at kids' schools?

I'm too much of an introvert to volunteer at my kids' school - not to mention the fact that they needed to learn to function without me (I'm a SAHM) when they were younger. Now they're pretty independent.

I also have big concerns about privacy and gossipy parents. However, it was a huge advantage as a parent when I was mildly venting to another parent about DD's kindergarten experience. The teacher wasn't responding to DD's learning rate of learning, as she was moving through DRA reading levels at a rate of 2-3 a week. This mom had worked with my DD in class, and clued me in that DD's learning was far from the norm and that I'd have to involve myself closely if DD's needs were going to be met. This was actually my first clue that DD's needs were not average, and therefore I needed to step in and advocate. This was not information I would have gotten from the school, but was something another parent had noted.

My kids have benefited nicely by my PTO volunteering. I identified a big problem (traffic safety for kids walking) and got another mom on board to address the problem with me. Together, we've cut the traffic around the school in half and have leveraged money to encourage walking and police enforcement to deal with red light runners. We have the approval of the principal for everything we've done, and we've been both quite careful to not complain, but instead to note problems, offer suggestions that we'll do with his approval, and rally the troops as necessary.

Most of this is done in a 1-2 hour meeting monthly, and about 10 minutes of volunteering before school starts weekly. The other woman was a stay at home mom, who was able to do a lot of the detail & follow up work in about 2-3 hours a week. All in all, it's been a positive and effective partnership.

As a result, the principal views me as someone who can get things done, who has a very positive attitude towards public schooling, and understands rules and regs. So when I go into an IEP meeting, I'm viewed as a partner in the school, not an outside complainer.

Volunteering is basically discouraged at DD's gifted magnet. They essentially say--we occasionally will need you for a special event or field trip, but otherwise, we don't need you. I don't mind. I wonder if this is because GT parents tend to be a bit, uh, much.

They are more open to volunteers in the gen ed program, where my DS is.

Wow, that is a lot of money! Just curious, what do they do with it?

The charter DS is going to attend (starting tomorrow!) expects a high level of parental involvement. They don't receive all the funds for each child that the public school does and so need parents to help raise money in their annual auction/Bingo games, etc. I'm okay with that. It's something DH and I did at DS' private school Kindergarten last year, anyway.

As someone who is basically an introvert, I'm not interested in becoming a "Martha Stewart mom". I like to work with things more than with people and would be happy to clean, file, etc. to show support.

I don't think that's at all detrimental to my son's achievement.

Our charter uses parent volunteers to help facilitate learning centers, sometimes prepping materials, stuffing folders, and just organizing events etc. I did folders in K bc I have a toddler and needed to help him nap during center time. This year he's down to shorter naps, so I hope to get into the classroom to really see what goes on! At least a big chunk of the parents are teachers, too. But yes it was odd last year hearing from parents about my daughter--the cat was out of the bag pretty quickly about her reading. Some brought it up just from her reading my note at lunch though. At least our school is very small and the kids are always in the same class, so it's very much like a family. But yes a bit odd to me coming from a school where TAs couldn't do hardly anything bc of privacy.

Because we're a small charter (and really locally grown, not part of a big chain or anything) or PTO is really important. We pay for a lot of "extras" that aren't really extra, like art, PE, special classroom supplies, speakers, trips, etc. but yes the nonstop fundraising is a bit much.

No way to know if volunteering helps the kids academically, but at least it lets the teacher focus on reading groups.

This is what happened with us for the beginning of Kinder at the public school. My DS started rolling around on the floor in a kind of zoned-out-ness! Through our insistence, the principal got DS tested in reading. His teacher was informed he could read at a 4th grade level and exclaimed, "That explains a lot! No wonder- he was bored!" Their solution: send him to the third grade for reading. When I overheard the teacher being told by another volunteer in that third grade class that my DS had a book report to turn in (news to me!), I knew the "differentiation" was only superficial. DS was never treated as a Kindergartener who happened to read at a high level. He had no idea what a book report was!

In one month of volunteering, we discovered that teacher was over her head even with volunteers; the school was allowing children who obviously needed more one-on-one attention to disrupt the overall class, (one child chewed pencils, knocked over desks, got up and jumped around like a monkey, etc.); and also (right before Sandy Hook incident), they were horribly lax on security (they didn't even lock doors). After attending PTA meetings and bringing these issues to the attention of the board and Super with no results, we decided to pull DS in October and place him in a private Kinder. It was not perfect, but waaaay better than the public school.


Our son's school said they couldn't afford a teacher's aide.
I know what you mean about knowing so much about the kids and their personal lives. I felt my heart constrict thinking about one little girl in particular as we were pulling our DS out of the public. She needed so much. If she were mine, I would have held her back a year. As it was, she was placed on the bus, expected to remember her backpack when she got off (she went into a full-on meltdown when she left it), and when she got to class, she was not in any way receiving enough one-on-one help to understand what she was expected to do.

I still wonder what happened to her.

That's a wonderful example of how the school should respond to suggested ideas to address problems.

Wish that had been our experience.

An email we received from one of the other parents who attended meetings of the board declared we shouldn't be discouraged, that we would all somehow get through the year together.

They had to go it without us, though. When we realized the Super wasn't concerned, we pulled our DS. It was the most stressful one month I can remember.

I can't volunteer in DD's class as I'm pretty sure the teacher would drive me more nuts than she already does and there would be words, and I have resolved to not engage with her for the rest of the year

AvoCado, my DD has the same teacher as last year... Things devolved beyond repair with her over my DDs ADHD late last year, I figured, "I can be polite but basically absent the last few weeks..." And then DD was assigned to her again this year. I didn't protest because DD loves her and she does seem to like DD... Its hard to express how much I regret that decision. A full year of a teacher you can't engage with unfortunate.