Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school School is not going well

So DD3.5 goes to a Montessori school. Last year she liked it & this year I have heard nothing but "it is so so boring, I hate going, please don't make me go, there is nothing to do..." ect ect. I went to a Montessori school when I was little and I know that there is a TON to do. I asked her teachers thinking she was just telling me that because she wanted to stay home. Her teachers said, "Actually we have noticed the same thing. She doesn't really do anything in the class and seems very unhappy." They said "We thought it was the level of the items... but then we offered her very challenging work and she will start it and then just say she is done and not finish it."
I really don't know what to do. Why would a 3 year old be so unhappy? I told her if she doesn't want to do a work then to just go draw or paint (she loves both) but she said she didn't want to. What could be going on??

One thing to note about the classroom is that even though it is a primary class (3-6 year olds) it is a VERY young class. The oldest is only 11months older than her. Last year my DD watched the older kids but now they are in a morning class. DD is in a afternoon class (we wanted morning but there was no space). DD learns from watching and loves to watch but doesn't like to do something once it is demonstrated I think she is thinking... Why do it if they just did it. I know what will happen. That is how she is at home.

So in frustration I said, what DO you want to do? If you could do anything what would you do the whole day? She said "I just want to go to a science school like the science museum and learn more about space, space storms, meteors... and about weather, hurricanes, tornadoes, why it rains... you know, stuff like that."

I hate that DD is so unhappy. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is anyone else having similar problems?

My kids are all long past preschool at this point in time, but fwiw, there were times they were unhappy in preschool. It's really tough to know exactly what's going on at that age, but there's something that isn't working for your dd. Has she just started back to school after a summer break, or has she been going continuously through the summer? Has any of the staff changed? One of the things I'd consider is that there might be something going on where the teachers either aren't treating her well or she just doesn't have a good vibe with them - this happened with us and it wasn't at all obvious until we switched our dd to an entirely different preschool. Not all kids enjoy Montessori either - but I think if she enjoyed it last year it's odd that she all of a sudden wouldn't like it this year. Do you think they are asking more repetition of her this year now that she's older? Can you go to school with her one morning and have her show you what she does at school or just observe? Do you have other preschool options that are different formats?

Re her desire to study space - I'd feed that passion right now, outside of school - rent her some videos or take her to the library or take her to a museum and let her learn all about it

Best wishes,

polarbear

Love the idea of going to school to watch. I don't know why I didn't think of that.

i'm definitely not an expert, but something about the kids being younger this year rings a bell with me.

my kid's older Montessori buddies also left her when she was 3.5... and her previously happy Montessori days came to an abrupt end. and then last year, when she was in a Pre-K class of age-peers... she had nothing to look up to - and i suddenly realized she's truly a kid who needs to aspire.

your DD's teachers sound beautifully in-touch; i wonder if they could encourage a stronger relationship with the 11mo older kid? maybe pair them on a special project involving her love of space?

My DD is also much better placed with older children.

Ds4 is better with older kids too. Unless you have to have childcare while you work though I see no reason for a child that young to be going to a preschool she doesn't enjoy. Even if you do need childcare I would look at a play based place with older kids, lots of books and nice teachers.

Maybe you could suggest to her teachers to let her work on a space related science project, like building a model of the solar system or something. If it is a flexible Montessori school, they can accommodate such requests. And once your dd has spent a month at the school, she may begin to make friends and like it. If nothing changes in a months time, it may be time to reevaluate your options.

For some [gifted] kids, too many choices can be overwhelming (due to too many interest/thoughts already happening internally). Maybe a more structured environment?